Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Morning from hell and Conduct Disorder remains the verdict...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 467556" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Nah, <strong>susie.</strong> I pretty much do the same thing with my kids and for the same reasons - no one should ever feel forced into affection. It does open doors for pedophiles, and later on, date rape.</p><p></p><p>I specifically remember when they were first evaluating son, for whatever they thought he had. I got a preliminary evaluation that stated that son doesn't hug. Yeah, so???????? I seriously thought these ppl were crazy! I calmly told them that I taught him he didn't have to hug anyone he didn't want to, and maybe he didn't want to hug anyone in school. Anyway different story.</p><p></p><p>Back to <strong>EPT</strong>. You said he seemed to have an "aha moment" when you asked him how he'd feel if someone tore up his pictures. The thing is, most kids learn this naturally. It's called empathy. Obviously your difficult child doesn't have it. That's why so many were suggesting Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) because that is a very common symptom. I personally don't believe he's Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), and I do believe that some ppl are just born "evil", HOWEVER if you can teach him that empathy, and he decides it's a good thing, he may CHOOSE to be good instead of "evil". in my opinion it is a long-shot, but what do you have to loose? by the way learning the mechanics of empathy can be achieved by ANYONE. <strong>Feeling</strong> empathy is a whole different ball game.</p><p></p><p>So, using Susie's idea of NOT giving him cursory affection when you are not in the mood is a step to teaching him that empathy. He can't upset and hurt you, and then expect you to show him affection. He needs to learn that there are natural consequences to his actions.</p><p></p><p>I think maybe twice my girls made me so upset and so angry that I was unable to give them affection. They were petrified and devastated thinking I'd "hate them forever". I pulled out my good old standby and in the calmest tone I could muster, "Girls, I love you always and forever, no matter what, but right now I am still angry"</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 467556, member: 11965"] Nah, [B]susie.[/B] I pretty much do the same thing with my kids and for the same reasons - no one should ever feel forced into affection. It does open doors for pedophiles, and later on, date rape. I specifically remember when they were first evaluating son, for whatever they thought he had. I got a preliminary evaluation that stated that son doesn't hug. Yeah, so???????? I seriously thought these ppl were crazy! I calmly told them that I taught him he didn't have to hug anyone he didn't want to, and maybe he didn't want to hug anyone in school. Anyway different story. Back to [B]EPT[/B]. You said he seemed to have an "aha moment" when you asked him how he'd feel if someone tore up his pictures. The thing is, most kids learn this naturally. It's called empathy. Obviously your difficult child doesn't have it. That's why so many were suggesting Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) because that is a very common symptom. I personally don't believe he's Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), and I do believe that some ppl are just born "evil", HOWEVER if you can teach him that empathy, and he decides it's a good thing, he may CHOOSE to be good instead of "evil". in my opinion it is a long-shot, but what do you have to loose? by the way learning the mechanics of empathy can be achieved by ANYONE. [B]Feeling[/B] empathy is a whole different ball game. So, using Susie's idea of NOT giving him cursory affection when you are not in the mood is a step to teaching him that empathy. He can't upset and hurt you, and then expect you to show him affection. He needs to learn that there are natural consequences to his actions. I think maybe twice my girls made me so upset and so angry that I was unable to give them affection. They were petrified and devastated thinking I'd "hate them forever". I pulled out my good old standby and in the calmest tone I could muster, "Girls, I love you always and forever, no matter what, but right now I am still angry" [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Morning from hell and Conduct Disorder remains the verdict...
Top