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Moronic mother in law's
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 194105" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Marge, logically I know that you are right in that gcv should be able to have a one on one with her mother in law. In my heart, I know that there are grandparents who don't give a rats patootie about the difficult child other than they are a great vehicle to call the warrior mom or dad a failure. </p><p></p><p>When I tried to logically discuss this with my parents, even times when L had had major meltdowns at their house, it had to be because of something I had done either immediately before, or an accumulation of foolhardy mistakes I had made over her lifetime. Every expert in the world couldn't have made them feel any differently.</p><p></p><p>They also had to point out, though, that my own difficult child'ness as a chidl and teen had absolutely <em>nothing</em> to do with them. <em>That</em> was all my fault. Which is why my dad didn't mind sending me to a therapist when I was 11 (I had to ride the bus downtown by myself) but when asked to participate he wouldn't attend because "it's got nothing to do with me!" I could go on and on about why that is circular logic and redundant, but you <em>all</em> understand it, I'm sure.</p><p></p><p>It may not be worth the time it takes to speak to gcv's mother in law. It might give mother in law a great excuse to tear her down and further undermine her parenting. I suppose gcv knows what would be best. Maybe if she went into it knowing that either mother in law is going to change her opinion, or there will be an ultimatum that mother in law keep her opinions to herself, it might work. I don't know that her mother in law would respect an ultimatum, either. I suspect her mother in law is living a vicarious victimhood through difficult child and gcv is the villain in her head.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 194105, member: 99"] Marge, logically I know that you are right in that gcv should be able to have a one on one with her mother in law. In my heart, I know that there are grandparents who don't give a rats patootie about the difficult child other than they are a great vehicle to call the warrior mom or dad a failure. When I tried to logically discuss this with my parents, even times when L had had major meltdowns at their house, it had to be because of something I had done either immediately before, or an accumulation of foolhardy mistakes I had made over her lifetime. Every expert in the world couldn't have made them feel any differently. They also had to point out, though, that my own difficult child'ness as a chidl and teen had absolutely [i]nothing[/i] to do with them. [i]That[/i] was all my fault. Which is why my dad didn't mind sending me to a therapist when I was 11 (I had to ride the bus downtown by myself) but when asked to participate he wouldn't attend because "it's got nothing to do with me!" I could go on and on about why that is circular logic and redundant, but you [i]all[/i] understand it, I'm sure. It may not be worth the time it takes to speak to gcv's mother in law. It might give mother in law a great excuse to tear her down and further undermine her parenting. I suppose gcv knows what would be best. Maybe if she went into it knowing that either mother in law is going to change her opinion, or there will be an ultimatum that mother in law keep her opinions to herself, it might work. I don't know that her mother in law would respect an ultimatum, either. I suspect her mother in law is living a vicarious victimhood through difficult child and gcv is the villain in her head. [/QUOTE]
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