Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
I believe...............Dr Ego has come down off his high horse, or cloud nine, or where ever he resides.
I spent the holiday in the ER once again with mother in law. Not surprising as I'd spent friday with mother in law having the same syptoms only worse at asissted living. However I was able to speak with the nurse on duty, very smart woman, and give her the heads up. mother in law was under strict orders not to attempt to get up at all without staff assistance. Call was put into Dr Ego.
I watched Darrin and Brandon last night as easy child had to work. Although it was under the condition that she would have to leave work should I get a call that mother in law had either grown worse or some such.
As luck would have it, it was one of those nights where husband just doesn't let me sleep. (and he wonders why most of the time I wait to go to bed until he gets up for the day ) easy child was scheduled to pick up the boys in the morning and take them to their new sitters. She'd asked me to watch them over night because she didn't want to start Darrin off with a sitter he didn't know over night. Nichole had agreed to get up early with the boys, knowing my sleep issues.
At around 6 ish I had finally drifted off to sleep. (husband had left the bed by then) At 7 am husband shook me awake and I vaguely recall him telling me mother in law had fallen and dialed 911 and was on her way to the ER. I went back to sleep. Nichole sent Darrin and Aubrey to attempt to wake me. They usually have better luck. lol Nope. I have a vague memory of sending them downstairs. But somewhere along the line it finally registered in my brain that mother in law was at the ER. So I got up.
On about an hour sleep I wasn't heading to the hospital without at least 1 cup of coffee down me. I'd no more than got up and husband called, said they'd xrayed mother in law and were sending her home. Now folks, don't mess with me on an hour sleep and no coffee. I am not a nice person. So I growled into the phone to get his arse back into the ER, corner the nurse, and inform her mother in law was going nowhere, and to call Dr Ego, that I was on my way.
I am seething by the time I reach the ER. husband knows me well and points to the nurse once I enter the unit. I head right for her and ask her what in hades is going on. (no I wasn't at all nice about it) She points to husband and says she already explained it to him. I said Oh goody for you, now explain it to ME. He's a man and doesn't count, nor does he have a clue as to what you're talking about. So nurse, who was a wee bit to snotty for my taste, said mother in law had xrays that came back ok, blood work ok and was going back to assisted living. I said oh, no she isn't. When nurse figured out I wasn't backing down, she said she'd get the doctor on duty.
I stepped out to call sister in law. Wanted to let her know what was going on so she could lit a fire under doctor Ego's arse from her end if need be. She told me she had faith in my temper and keep her advised if the situation. LOL
ER doctor is new, but nice enough, and to give her credit, she listened to what I had to say. Ordered a CT scan and more blood work. In other words.........ignored mother in law's age, and frimping did her job as she would have for a younger person with the same symptoms. And I told her, did not ask her, that mother in law would not be going anywhere until Dr Ego had been spoken to and it was on his word.
CT scan came back clear, blood work normal.
Meanwhile mother in law is a mess. She is so weak she can barely speak. Legs are numb again. B/P is normal range and so are O2 stats. She can't stay conscious.
Next thing we know Dr Ego is on his way. The man left his holiday celebration to come in and check on mother in law in person and to speak with us. By now I'm beginning to think perhaps doctor ego has a heart afterall.
So now we know exactly what is going on. Not TIA's, no strokes. At least nothing that is showing up. Not even the sodium thing. mother in law was so adiment that she was ready to die before being hospitalized last week and that she only wanted to be comfortable that doctor ego had taken her seriously.
He had increased her pain medications, while removing any medication that prolonged life. She is now only on medications to keep her comfortable. Which of course is fine with us. Problem is, as doctor ego stated it......the woman is on enough pain medications to knock a lumberjack out cold. While she was in hospital he had attempted to cut it back, those were the times we found her more like herself except in excruciating pain. But due to the pain level and her request, he had returned to the increased dose. The numbess she's been having he believes to be caused by a pinched nerve or nerves brought on by spine degeneration and the way she has to hoist herself around in order to move. Not really anything can be done for that cuz she won't allow it.
mother in law hasn't eaten in 2 days. She only takes sips of water. She wants to die. She is willing herself to die. She doesn't even want to take part in decision making. Didn't even care she was going to the nursing home. Which is where she was transported. The same one she was in back in March.
doctor Ego said he'd like to see mother in law rally around. But that he doesn't think it's going to happen this time. She's given up. And I agree with him. But it is so sad to see her this way.
Sister in law is sticking to her plan to come up in 2 wks to empty out mother in law's house. It looks as if we'll be emptying out her room at assisted living as well. Sister in law sees no reason at this point to change those plans. I told her we would notify her if mother in law's condition gets worse. They're having trouble making arrangements to get here in 2 wks as it is......I see no reason at this point to make it worse for them.
Assisted living states they can care for mother in law at nursing home level. Maybe they can. But honestly, they don't have the staff to back up that claim. mother in law fell because she didn't bother to call anyone when she got up to go to the bathroom. She crawled to the phone to call 911 herself.
This time in nursing home, mother in law will have no phone. There will be no more 911 calls. All family is in agreement on this.
I told my Mom when she came to visit that when her time came to need assistance she'd better look to another one of her kids to do it. I meant it. I cared for my grandmother who raised me for a year until she passed from cancer. Now mother in law. Next time it's someone else's turn to step up to the plate.
Thanks for letting me get it all out.
Hugs
I spent the holiday in the ER once again with mother in law. Not surprising as I'd spent friday with mother in law having the same syptoms only worse at asissted living. However I was able to speak with the nurse on duty, very smart woman, and give her the heads up. mother in law was under strict orders not to attempt to get up at all without staff assistance. Call was put into Dr Ego.
I watched Darrin and Brandon last night as easy child had to work. Although it was under the condition that she would have to leave work should I get a call that mother in law had either grown worse or some such.
As luck would have it, it was one of those nights where husband just doesn't let me sleep. (and he wonders why most of the time I wait to go to bed until he gets up for the day ) easy child was scheduled to pick up the boys in the morning and take them to their new sitters. She'd asked me to watch them over night because she didn't want to start Darrin off with a sitter he didn't know over night. Nichole had agreed to get up early with the boys, knowing my sleep issues.
At around 6 ish I had finally drifted off to sleep. (husband had left the bed by then) At 7 am husband shook me awake and I vaguely recall him telling me mother in law had fallen and dialed 911 and was on her way to the ER. I went back to sleep. Nichole sent Darrin and Aubrey to attempt to wake me. They usually have better luck. lol Nope. I have a vague memory of sending them downstairs. But somewhere along the line it finally registered in my brain that mother in law was at the ER. So I got up.
On about an hour sleep I wasn't heading to the hospital without at least 1 cup of coffee down me. I'd no more than got up and husband called, said they'd xrayed mother in law and were sending her home. Now folks, don't mess with me on an hour sleep and no coffee. I am not a nice person. So I growled into the phone to get his arse back into the ER, corner the nurse, and inform her mother in law was going nowhere, and to call Dr Ego, that I was on my way.
I am seething by the time I reach the ER. husband knows me well and points to the nurse once I enter the unit. I head right for her and ask her what in hades is going on. (no I wasn't at all nice about it) She points to husband and says she already explained it to him. I said Oh goody for you, now explain it to ME. He's a man and doesn't count, nor does he have a clue as to what you're talking about. So nurse, who was a wee bit to snotty for my taste, said mother in law had xrays that came back ok, blood work ok and was going back to assisted living. I said oh, no she isn't. When nurse figured out I wasn't backing down, she said she'd get the doctor on duty.
I stepped out to call sister in law. Wanted to let her know what was going on so she could lit a fire under doctor Ego's arse from her end if need be. She told me she had faith in my temper and keep her advised if the situation. LOL
ER doctor is new, but nice enough, and to give her credit, she listened to what I had to say. Ordered a CT scan and more blood work. In other words.........ignored mother in law's age, and frimping did her job as she would have for a younger person with the same symptoms. And I told her, did not ask her, that mother in law would not be going anywhere until Dr Ego had been spoken to and it was on his word.
CT scan came back clear, blood work normal.
Meanwhile mother in law is a mess. She is so weak she can barely speak. Legs are numb again. B/P is normal range and so are O2 stats. She can't stay conscious.
Next thing we know Dr Ego is on his way. The man left his holiday celebration to come in and check on mother in law in person and to speak with us. By now I'm beginning to think perhaps doctor ego has a heart afterall.
So now we know exactly what is going on. Not TIA's, no strokes. At least nothing that is showing up. Not even the sodium thing. mother in law was so adiment that she was ready to die before being hospitalized last week and that she only wanted to be comfortable that doctor ego had taken her seriously.
He had increased her pain medications, while removing any medication that prolonged life. She is now only on medications to keep her comfortable. Which of course is fine with us. Problem is, as doctor ego stated it......the woman is on enough pain medications to knock a lumberjack out cold. While she was in hospital he had attempted to cut it back, those were the times we found her more like herself except in excruciating pain. But due to the pain level and her request, he had returned to the increased dose. The numbess she's been having he believes to be caused by a pinched nerve or nerves brought on by spine degeneration and the way she has to hoist herself around in order to move. Not really anything can be done for that cuz she won't allow it.
mother in law hasn't eaten in 2 days. She only takes sips of water. She wants to die. She is willing herself to die. She doesn't even want to take part in decision making. Didn't even care she was going to the nursing home. Which is where she was transported. The same one she was in back in March.
doctor Ego said he'd like to see mother in law rally around. But that he doesn't think it's going to happen this time. She's given up. And I agree with him. But it is so sad to see her this way.
Sister in law is sticking to her plan to come up in 2 wks to empty out mother in law's house. It looks as if we'll be emptying out her room at assisted living as well. Sister in law sees no reason at this point to change those plans. I told her we would notify her if mother in law's condition gets worse. They're having trouble making arrangements to get here in 2 wks as it is......I see no reason at this point to make it worse for them.
Assisted living states they can care for mother in law at nursing home level. Maybe they can. But honestly, they don't have the staff to back up that claim. mother in law fell because she didn't bother to call anyone when she got up to go to the bathroom. She crawled to the phone to call 911 herself.
This time in nursing home, mother in law will have no phone. There will be no more 911 calls. All family is in agreement on this.
I told my Mom when she came to visit that when her time came to need assistance she'd better look to another one of her kids to do it. I meant it. I cared for my grandmother who raised me for a year until she passed from cancer. Now mother in law. Next time it's someone else's turn to step up to the plate.
Thanks for letting me get it all out.
Hugs