So mother in law is visiting this week. She and brother in law arrived last Thursday, brother in law left on Saturday and we are driving mother in law down to LI either tomorrow or Saturday to spend a few days with her sister in law there. She will fly home from there. H hasn't taken a day off since she's been here, but I took the week off. I mainly took the week off to prevent her from snooping too much, to be there for the dogs (because she hates them) and do some things with her. It's been an illuminating week. The woman, as you've heard before, drives me nuts. She is a bit of a pill and acts old even though she is very capable. However, aside from that, I've had that not give a darn attitude and it's enabled me to ask her questions about herself, her life, her experiences, etc. I think father in law was always the talker out of the two and she was somewhat stifled. Anyway, she shared with me some interesting things that have enabled me to feel compassion for this bitter woman...and creepy at times - she has a tendency to stare without saying anything and it makes for very slow, uncomfortable conversations at times. But that aside, I learned that father in law didn't like her talking to other men; through her grief support group over father in law, she was finally able to grieve for the loss of her teenage son from about 35 years ago. She said she held it in and tucked it away and never really grieved, but she has learned how now and she said it was cathartic and enabled her to then grieve for her sister she lost about ten years ago and now father in law. WOWOWOWOW. My heart ached for her...holding in the pain of losing your youngest teen son? How do you do that? So, each day we do something and we've had some decent conversations. I even broached the topic of what she feels her next move will be in terms of living arrangements. She said she would want to live near brother in law in PA or here near us, depending on how it works out financially. Then she even asked me to take her to see some senior housing places! Holy Moses! So we did. And yesterday while I was at the doctors, a woman from an assisted living facility called me about an event they were hosting last night and got mother in law...at first I was afraid, but it turned out well. mother in law wanted to go, so we attended a cocktail hour and an outdoor show. mother in law was very impressed with the place. I think it's out of her price range, but still...the very idea that she is open to looking at these places tells me, or rather confirms for me that, her son/children do not know their mom very well. Yesterday we walked though a nearby town and looked at shops, then had lunch at a nice place. Today we are going to make appts to see some apts. This morning, however, I am going over to see my mom and mother in law and I will do that later. I do not feel so apprehensive about having mother in law move nearby anymore. Not in our house, but nearby. I got a little nervous the other day as I spotted H looking at homes with mother in law apts in them. I thought we finally put that crazy idea to bed, but apparently he is still nursing the idea. H. Hmmmm, H has been a really big giant jerk all week. He is working and not spending any time with his mom, except in the evenings to watch the Olympics and then falls asleep. He hasn't take any time off to spend with her and when he comes home he is downright nasty and crabby to ME. mother in law will be sitting out on the patio before dinner and H will stay in the kitchen with me, just to badger or pick on stupid little things with me...I keep telling him to go out and spend time with his mom! And the worst is that he's being a complete jerk but then later expects me to be ready and willing in the bedroom! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! So he wanted to change the day to drive mother in law to LI from Friday to Saturday. I told him I won't be going if we go on Saturday. I need at least the Sunday to recuperate before heading back to work on Monday. His head almost blew off his body, lol. And he said, "that's BS! Can't anyone ever do anything for me?" I had to pick my jaw up off the floor, really? I took this week off, losing a total of 7 vacation days to stay home and entertain his family...grrr. Aside from H being an ass, it's been a decent week, however. I am tired and it hasn't been a vaca by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm glad I stayed home to spend time with mother in law. If she ends up moving here, I think it was important for me to get to know her better. I will have to hide all the gum when she is around, however, because she is an awful gum chewer....I see where H gets it from now!