Mother Nature Is Not On My Side

[Bunny]

About a month or so ago I got really fed up with husband and his hands off approach to marriage and parenting. One Saturday, after I got home with difficult child from his therapist appointment, I packed up my needlework bag and walked out of the house. I ran away for home to my needlework shop for a few hours to get away from everyone - even easy child, and I very rarely feel to need to run away from him! I felt so much better when I got back and I said that I was going to do this more often.

Last weekend I told husband to prepare himself because I was planning on running away from home again this coming Saturday. Well, guess what? The weather man is predicting near blizzard conditions!!! It's supposed to start Friday morning, and depending on when/if it turns to rain we could get as much as 15 inches of snow!!

So much for running away from home for a few hours.

 

[Jody]

Eww, I hope you don't get all of that. maybe you can get snowed in the shop and you can have a really long weekend there. Get your supplies together now and get ready to go early Friday morning before it hits your city.

 

[InsaneCdn]

You need to develop a second way of running away... it's called hiding.
A tiny room in the house where you can close the door and disappear, for the sake of your own mental health.
And then sit there and... do needlework!

 

[dstc_99]

Run away anyhow! LOL sounds so easy doesn't it.

 

[Bunny]

You need to develop a second way of running away... it's called hiding.
A tiny room in the house where you can close the door and disappear, for the sake of your own mental health.
And then sit there and... do needlework!

I've tried that. Unfortunately, it does not work in my house. husband does not step up to the plate if I'm home and the kids always come to me, even when they are told not to bother me. If you only knew the number of times I've been sick and in bed and the kids come to me for EVERY. LITTLE. THING.

It only works if I am physically not in the house.

Sigh.

I hope the snow is not bad enough that we have early dismissal on Friday. Fridays are always bad afternoons for difficult child and the possibility of him coming home early does not make me happy.

 

[susiestar]

There is a way to break both husband and the kids of this. I did it when J was little after a two day migraine where husband asked me how to cook pizza. frozen pizza in a box with directions, and he woke me up to ask. He also sent Wiz to me with every question (and he was five, so he had a zillion every other minute), and wanted me to change J's diaper because it was 'too messy' and he was afraid he would be sick. I told him if he talked Occupational Therapist (OT) me again, he wouldn't have to barf. I would do it for him, ON him. And he knew me well and knew I meant it.

If you want husband to step up, and the kids to leave you alone when you have said not to bug you, you must insist that husband deal iwth them. Send them to daddy, be 'mean' or whatever they will call you and refuse to deal with them. If you must respond, do it in such a way that they are NOT happy with your answer, that neither husband nor the kids like the answer. What does husband HATE food wise? Next time he is supposed to be dealin with things, and the kids go to you, you serve what he HATES for a solid WEEK. I am NOT joking. You tell him he can eat what he likes when he steps up.

Your Gma and Momma were NOT kidding when they said the way to a man is through his stomach. Not at ALL. If you want him to stop something, tie food he hates to it. also don't rush to help him figure thngs out when he asks for help and you are to be left alone. No, he won't be happy. Neither will the kids be. So what? No one promised anyone happiness, just the pursuit of it. YOU are not happy because you cannot have ten min alone, so why make them happy for bugging you?

My mom gave me this advice, and she was totally right. took me two or three weeks to totally turn things around once I decided to. I had to trust that husband would figure it out or not kill the kids if he didn't. I had to not give in and do it because it was easier than watching husband and the kids bumble through it. The result? Independent kids who can cope with life, and a husband who can finally cope with his own life who doesn't need me to be his mommy. Total win in the LONG RUN.

 

[susiestar]

You can also go to the motel six overnight. They usually have super cheap online rates and sure, it isn't fancy, but they won't bug you.

 

[DDD]

I hid at a local motel checking in after I had taken the kids to school and coming home after they were in bed for the night. I packed drinks & food in a little cooler to save money. Once I used the pool and read in a lounge chair outside but mostly I slept, watched programs that appealed to me or read a book. The sound of silence was very therapeutic. I probably chose to hid four times in six years but each time was worth a million dollars for my mental health. Oh yeah, I also took bubble bath with me and soaked for as long as I wanted to. DDD

 

[Calamity Jane]

If it does snow and you're trapped in the house for the weekend, if you can, go food shopping and get all kinds of easy to microwave, etc. ready made meals and fruit and snacks in the house by Friday. Make sure you have movies on hand, books, board games, etc. to keep the kids busy - maybe go to the craft store tom'w and pick up a few things the kids can keep busy with.
Prepare husband in advance that you will need some alone time this weekend, esp. if it snows. Tell him you're going to take a long bubble bath soak and will lock the bathroom door (take your knitting in there if you don't like bubble baths). Tell the kids you are going to be out of touch for about an hour or two, and to speak to Daddy if they need anything. Plan it all out in advance and tell them it's important to you that you have some peace and quiet. Tell them if they knock on the door, unless it's a true emergency, you will be very disappointed. Give Daddy a chore like washing and drying clothes, so he will be occupied too.
I know it is so much easier to drive away, wave bye-bye to the house and really get lost, I used to go to the movies by myself occasionally, but if it snows, this may be the next best thing. I hope it works out for you.
Also, if it does snow, make Daddy and the kids shovel and they will all be out of the house for a while. They may even get exhausted and take a nap afterwards! When they come in, you can make hot chocolate or something as a reward. Good luck!

 

[StressedM0mma]

My vote is to go to a hotel for the night! I know it is probably not a realistic option, but it is a fantasy of mine. No place fancy. Just a hotel room to myself for a weekend. To do whatever I want. For as long as I want.

I went on a vacation in Sept. for a week with some girlfriends (to the beach). husband let difficult child stay home "sick" 3 of the 4 school days. And, he called constantly. But, I would leave my phone in the condo, and go sit on the beach with my book. SO peaceful. I had a mess to clean up when I got home, but it was worth it.