Mother of the bride shopping

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Marguerite, Sep 1, 2009.

  1. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    The saga of a shopping trip -

    husband had the day off work today and had agreed to come shopping with me, to help me choose a Mother of the Bride dress for the wedding next month. I've got a mail-order catalogue with 10 post-it notes marking things I want to order (hoping one of them will arrive in time AND be something that looks good) but husband wanted to check the shops out first. The dress I had bought last week, he said was too tight, the extra flab on my back was squished together like a buttock crease down my back, he said. Ugh! A pity, it was lovely, floaty and floral, although not full-length which I sort of wanted.

    So we took back the dress I had previously bought. I mean, I have a figure of sorts at last, I do have a good waist but I still have a bit of loose flab over, and the dress showed too much of it - the crease down my back, plus 'batwings'. The shop assistant said I could always cover up the batwings with a lovely little bolero, a steal at only $180...

    I was hoping to try on the next size up, to see what husband thought. But they didn't have it any more, so instead I just got the refund and we went on our way.

    My first attempt to go shopping a few weeks ago with a friend, was a bit of a disaster. My friend has impeccable taste, but is what is euphemistically called a "larger lady" which I was also 18 months ago. And despite the fact that she is proud of my achievements with weight loss, she couldn't wrap her head around the differences between us and kept choosing things that would look great on her, but not on me. For example, gold and black - look fabulous on her, especially with the straight up-and-down lines of these outfits. But on me, they hide what shape I have uncovered. PLus our big day of shopping got blown out of the water when an appointment I had lined up to get my engagement ring valued, got reschedule without notice.

    So today was the third attempt. husband is very patient but afgter 30 yers he has a clear idea of what looks good o me and what doesn't. Besides, he WILL tell me if it looks awful from the back (or where I can't see myself clearly) while the shop assistants will tell you any old rubbish, just to make a sale.

    Store after store. I began by wearing my good high-heels, the ones I plan to wear to the wedding. But I soon had to change back down to my walking flats. I had worn a dress so as to make changing easy, but I found I had worn the WRONG dress (I actually wore the dress I had bought for difficult child 1's wedding, the one I got in an op-shop). It ties at the waist and has a side zip. It got really tedious after the first ten removals...

    Just after lunch we had found a simply glorious black dress, full-length satin with jewelled halter-neck bodice. It was in the same store where so many girls buy their school formal dresses (formal = prom). Too many of the dresses looked like school formal dresses or bridesmaids dresses, designed for sweet 17 year olds, not someone over 50. But this one dress - it looked promising. Just very, very expensive...

    husband was a darling through it all. At the next large store we found a lovely mid-calf length dress, again black and halter-neck. easy child 2/difficult child 2 had met up with us for her half hour lunch break and helped me in and out of a few dresses. The sales lady was very high-pressure but husband shut her up by being VERY firm. "She does NOT wear plaid!" he snapped, and the sales lady retreated.
    easy child 2/difficult child 2 was really helpful although like her father, equally frank if something did not look right. "No way, Mum, that colour is the new Menopause Mauve - do NOT wear it to my wedding!"

    I finally found something good and said to husband, "I think this is the one, but I just want to go back to the prom store and have another try on, to see which I like best. But it IS more expensive and I don't think I would ever wear it again..."

    But on the way, I walked past another shop I'd been drooling in before and tried on a dress I'd admired last week. And it fitted! it's just what I wanted - long, floaty, but can be dressed down for a less formal summer look. It's green silk with a laser-printed subtle floral design on it. It was the same price as the dress we'd returned, half the price of the one we were on the way to reconsider. And it looks so much better - a delicate spring green which looks good on my skin, where black just can never look so good.

    Next stop - the bra shop. Again husband came to the rescue and made some really helpful suggestions. I must admit, I was feelnig exhausted by this stage and just needing to cut through the crud and get to the chase. A shop full of cute young things isn't always the place to meet the needs of a middle-aged lady with boobs dangling round her knees. "I need a Salvation Army bra," I explained, figuring she'd heard them all. But she hadn't. So I continued, "You know? Uplifts the fallen."
    Aha. Enlightenment. They stepped up and found me exactlywhat I needed and helped metry on my new dress to find a bra that I could wear with it. They were suggesting some Hollywood tape but husband reminded me, "We've already got some at home, from the LAST wedding. But some clear straps would be a good idea."

    After we got home husband hugged me and said, "I have really enjoyed spending the day with you."
    He told me his (male) colleague at work had patted him sorrowfully on the shoulder when he told him we were dress shopping together today. And said, "I'm sure a lot of those sales ladies today thought you were shopping with a gay friend, your own personal Carson Kressley."

    Of course afterwards we went to the shops where husband wanted to go, to buy his workshop materials, some metal fasteners and a new remote control for the TV.

    It was the least I could do for him!

    It is such a relief to have finally got something to wear. One more hurdle out of the way!

  2. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Your husband is so sweet to lend some clarity and support during the shopping trip! Most men would rather endure a root canal sans anesthesia than accompany their wife shopping for a special occasion dress. And the fact that your husband will tell you flat out if something truly looks good or not is a huge bonus. Mine has a very different idea of what's flattering on me, so I've learned to just leave him home and suffer the ordeal on my own.

    Searching for an appropriate dress that doesn't look too matronly and doesn't look like something for a teenager is very challenging. I found that out when I went searching for something to wear to my brother's wedding last May!

    I'm glad you've got your outfit decided for the special day. When's the date?
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am glad your search was fruitful. Your husband is AMAZING!! Mine would go with me, with his gameboy ds lite in his hand AND his crackberry just so he could amuse himself.

    Your husband not only is honest but knows what will look good on you. And guys can often make a saleslady who is pushy back off because they are used to guys who don't speak up or have opinions. So when a guy says No. In that final way the sales chicks are stymied. A useful gift to bring on a shopping excursion, in my opinion.

    It sounds like he has earned a back rub in the next few days!! He is such a sweetie.
  4. ctmom05

    ctmom05 Member


    I don't know if you meant for your post to be entertaining, but I found it delightfully so. Between your husband's and your witty comments, I couldn't help but smile : ) .. .. ..

    Mr Marguerite says "The dress I had bought last week, he said was too tight, the extra flab on my back was squished together like a buttock crease down my back."

    Marguerite says "A shop full of cute young things isn't always the place to meet the needs of a middle-aged lady with boobs dangling round her knees. "I need a Salvation Army bra," I explained, figuring she'd heard them all. But she hadn't. So I continued, "You know? Uplifts the fallen."
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You're a lucky woman, Marg. My husband would never tell me the truth about a dress. He swears I look good in everything and can't for the life of himself imagine why I would want to know if something looked bad. As far as a bra goes? He would never get beyond "Uh - b00bies". :rofl:
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I know, I'm really lucky. ALso, having him lurk on this site (and then eventually join) has meant that our already good communnication has improved way more than I thought would be possible.

    Having him not only endure the shopping trip, but say at the end of it, "I enjoyed our day together," really made me happy.

    And the hardware stuff he bought? A lot of it was to fix the car which easy child 2/difficult child 2 wants as her wedding car. So it was very much a wedding special shopping day!

    I'm not up to giving him back rubs, but I'm cooking something special for him next cooking binge. Osso bucco is first on the agenda.

    I can just hear him now, stacking the sink to do the washing up. He's been doing it every night since the dishawasher broke down.

    I think he needs cloning.

    Oh, wedding date - 2 October. Not long now!