Mother searching for answers

[scanillas]

Hello, all!
I am a new user to this site and frankly, at my wits end trying to find a way to help my son. I am hoping to get some feedback from any parents out there who might be willing to offer some information. I have a six-year-old son who has been to two different child psychologists, of which both have said that my son displays "some" of the symptoms of ADHD, but not all. They think it may be a behavioral issue. I have been researching various parenting measurements and found one called the "Parenting Scale." I am trying to figure out if it is my parenting technique that may be causing some of my son's disruptive behaviors. If there is anyone out there willing to try the scale for me, I would appreciate having other parents' communicative practices to compare my own to in hopes of finding a correlation. Please contact me at [email protected] if your willing. I need to know if it's my parenting, or if it is ADHD. I would greatly appreciate anyone's help, and I would be willing to share my findings with those participating moms and dads. Thanks so much!
Shani

 

[Lothlorien]

I'm going to move this over to General.

Please fill out your profile under the quick links and let us know more about you and your child, but please leave out last names.

You have said that you've been to child psychologists, but have you searched out a neurodevelopmental pshychiatrist or have gotten an evaluation performed at your nearest children's hospital? That would be the step that most of us will refer you to.

 

[susiestar]

I really tink you need to not blame yourself. You have done your best. I would suggest reading Love and Logic Parenting. You can learn more about it from www.loveandlogic.com . The site has lots of free stuff, and the audio downloads are wonderful. It is a new approach to parenting, at least it was for us. And it is a healthy one.

Please make an appointment with a Board Certified Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist or a B.C. Developmental Pediatrician. I would try the devel. pediatrician first, jsut because we have had such good luck with them. You will probably want a neuropsychologist evaluation (intensive testing here - what you really WANT!) or a multidisciplinary evaluation (try a children's hospital for one).

If you go to the General Archives in this board, and click on last page, then go ALL the way to the bottom, you will see a thread about a Parent Report or Parent Input. This is directions to develop a report about your child. You will want to make copies and share it with the people you see to help your son. You may want to share part of it with school. Sometimes not, depends on how your school handles things.

Also, please be aware that most of us here have started out with the ADHD diagnosis, then found we were dealing with other things. ADHD symptoms can appear in many disorders and mental illness.

Please get off the blame wagon. YOU may not be a perfect parent, but neither is anyone else. The website has a lot of resources, and lots of books, audiotapes, etc... They are well worth checking out. Most especially for your situation the "Helicopters and Drill Sargents" tape. It talks about various types of parenting and what the long term effects of them can be. It also shows how you can learn other types of parenting, and figure out what kind of parenting suits your child/family.

As I type, it also occurs to me that many ADHD symptoms/behaviors can also be caused by/related to sensory issues. Sensory Integration Disorder is when the brain does not handle the various sensory input well. An Occupational Therapist is the person who evaluates for htis. Many therapies are easy, doable at home, and NOT medication related. I have seen HUGE differences in my youngest's ADHD type behaviors. The best book for this is Carol Kranowitz' "The Out of Sync Child". She also has a wonderful book called "The Out of Sync Child Has Fun". This book is packed with activities to help kids with sensory issues. Many are very inexpensive, fun, and EASY. And they HELP.

Welcome to our world, it is a great place for support. Sorry you need us, but happy you found us!!

Hugs,

Susie

 

[BusynMember]

There are so many childhood disorders. AT his age, I recommend taking him, not to a regular psychologist (in my opinion they often miss the mark), but to a NeuroPsychologist. They do intensvie evaluations and often "hit" where others "miss" because most types of therapists do NOT test. I do have a few questions:

1/Any mood disorders, substance abuse, or neurological problems on the family tree on either side?
2/How was his early development? Any speech delays, poor eye contact with stangers, clueless social skills, strange obsessive thinking?
It is always best not to try to diagnosis. yourself. My layman's guess is that you're dealing with something other than a behavioral problem alone. But you need to have him tested to know more about what is going on.

Welcome to the board!