Mother's Day Question

[lizanne2]

If my kids neglect/forget me on Mother's Day, is it my fault? I usually spend the day wondering where I went wrong that my two children are not more aware and thoughtful regarding these things.


It is just me and them. I/WE see my mom usually on those days but she is a bit of a difficult child and doesn't acknowledge that it is Mother's DAy for me. (That is a funy yet sad story).


Should I make a point or make a stink? I worry that they will grow up forgetting their significant others and friends and teachers etc.

I am ready to fuggeddaboutit. What do y'all think?

 

[tiredmommy]

I think, in my humble opinion, that you should make the day something you will enjoy. Call a friend and go to lunch. Go to a book store and browse. Stay in your pj's, read the paper and sip herbal tea all day. I wouldn't worry about anyone else on Sunday.

 

[trinityroyal]

Lizanne, it's certainly not your fault. I woudn't bother making a point or a stink, I'd simply take the opportunity to spoil myself.

Tiredmommy has some good suggestions. Treat yourself the way you'd like to be treated. Others might learn from your example and follow suit. If not, then at least you've done something for you that you like.

Hugs,
Trinity

 

[1905]

Think of the best thing you can do with the day, and then do it! Celebrate yourself! Get lost in a good book, some good music, and your favorite drink.

 

[AnnieO]

I point it out to husband and the difficult children and then drop it.

If they do something, great. If not - since husband has to work Saturday night, difficult child 2 will be at BM's, I'm going to see if difficult child 1 wants to spend the night with someone and me and MY mom will go do something for us.

Mother's Day has been hard for her since Grandma died, so I try to take her mind off it...

 

[hearts and roses]

Your profile doesn't say how old your kiddies are. When mine were small and my life was consumed with caring for my daughters, I told my then H that I wanted the day to do stuff for me alone. In the morning, we'd have coffee and toast, then he would take the kids to visit his mom while I planted flowers. I might have lunch with my sister in law.

Later H would make dinner and the girls would maybe present me with flowers and a card, if H remembered.

Remind H or your SO and then let it go. Do something for yourself that day in celebration; something that you've been putting off or something that is indulgent. Hugs - and Happy Mother's Day!

 

[Star*]

Liz

I've done both. Neither got me what I thought I wanted.

One Mother's Day - I stewed all day that no one - NO ONE had remembered it was a day to celebrate Mothers. (Personally this day is underrated and should be celebrated every day)

So there I was silent and stewing - I went to great lengths to be sarcastic (really Star* you, sarcastic?) IF anyone said the word "Mom" I would jump up and say "MOM....did you say M-O-M?" and it just confused everyone and they thought I was in a foul mood and avoided me. I remember DF even saying "Honey, can I go get you some Midol or something?" and me thinking "Sure go get me something - A Mother's Day card, a cake, a flower......tell the kid to fold a piece of paper in 1/2 and write me a card - anything something." but no-----I sat in my own stew until it was bedtime and then got up Monday morning - STILL in a foul mood and blew up in the kitchen when someone said "Mom can you?" and I said "SURE SURE I CAN DO EVERYTHING - BECAUSE I AM THE MOM and WHEN DO WE CELEBRATE THE MOM? NEVER! NOPE...NOT IN THIS HOUSE." and my family literally stood in the kitchen looking at me like I needed to be committed. As I walked out - I said HAPPY FREAKING MOTHERS DAY TO YOU TOO - GOSH LETS ALL REMEMBER FATHER'S DAY AND YOUR BIRTHDAY YOU HAVE 364 DAYS TO PLAN SOMETHING - ANYTHING. and drove off -

Yeah - see - I don't remember that I was forgotten - I remember that I acted like a jerk, and could have solved it all by saying Sunday morning - NOTHING - or - "I see you both forgot Mother's Day again." and then sat back while they whispered and tried to sneak the car out of the drive to go get some Ronco/ Wallgreens momento to celebrate what I had to TELL them to remember.

Now I say - WELL in advance to DF - SUNDAY is MOTHERS DAY. THen hand him a card for his own wonderful Mom. Then I have to get a stamp. Then I have to look up her PO box address and zip code. Then I take it to the mail box. This year? I handed him a card WITH a stamp and the address written on a piece of paper - and at the bottom wrote MOTHERS DAY SUNDAY MAY 10th - GET THIS CARD IN THE BOX BY MONDAY....
and he did it.

He also bought a turkey and will be making Mothers Day dinner for me....
(and I think to my twisted self) But I wanted meatloaf......lol. And thus figure no matter what they do I'm always going to be critical. lol

As far as getting stinky with someone - over a holiday? Nope -

I think it's fine to tell your girls - on a note - like I did my DF and son -

MOTHER'S DAY IS SUNDAY MAY 10th.........

And see what they can do (sorta) on their own.

Otherwise - maybe if you don't feel like giving them a reminder? Just do what everyone else has suggested and pamper YOURSELF -

You didn't raise them wrong - it's hard to tell why some people remember holidays and celebrate them and why it causes undo stress for others.

Hugs

 

[hearts and roses]

In my H's family, they don't celebrate any holidays and those that they do celebrate they celebrate barely and badly.

In 15 years my in-laws have yet to even comment on my or my children's birthdays. They send H a card with a check, but sometimes no one in his family even calls him. Same with Christmas, etc. When we call his mom for mother's day she will almost as an afterthought wish me a happy mother's day as well. They are just like that.

I've always made a super big deal out of birthdays in our home - everyone's. And also, every freakin holiday, whether it is the big ones or the not so big ones. So, in turn, my kids make a big deal too. Regretably, they also still expect a big deal for their birthdays, even though they are are now adults and should be happy with a card and token gift, in my opinion! Hahah.

Moral: Be careful what you wish for! hahaha -

 

[TerryJ2]

Lizanne,
JoG took the words right out of my mouth. How old are your kids?

I think it is a parent's job to teach. If Mother's Day is something important to you, tell your kids that it is and you expect some sort of special attention. For most little kids, a hand made card is appropriate. Also, point out that most mothers spend time with-their own families that day, so they are not to pester their friends.

If your kids are older, and here it sounds like you don't have a husband to point out the importance of the day, I'd just do whatever I want, as the moms here suggested. Go for a walk, see a movie, eat chocolate. Do NOT wait on them. You get a day off. If they complain, calmly tell them that you are taking the day off. In fact, tell them the day b4 so they can be sure to make themselves PB&Js if they don't cook.

 

[BusynMember]

I'm trying to start a Crisis Line Post for Mother's Day...lol.

Two of my grown kids usually call me--they are out of town and neither has much money, so I don't expect or care about gifts. But one kid disowned the entire family and on Mother's Day it hurts.

Still, I don't blame myself. Relationships are so complicated. Who knows why people, even our kids, behave the way they do? I'm 55 years old and for the rest of my life, I'm going to put myself in high esteem even if nobody else does . After all I've been taking care of kids all my life, and it's time for me to look after me.

I can't waste time looking back to see if I should have done it differently. I did the best I knew how. If the kids don't appreciate it, I can't help it and I refuse to devalue myself. There!