Mother's Day Tears, Jeers, & Grumble Thread

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by SRL, May 12, 2007.

  1. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    This thread is for all of you moms for whom Mother's Day isn't all it's cracked up to be. Maybe it's because life with difficult child is miles away from what you felt motherhood was going to be like. Maybe it's because no call came from a child and you are feeling hurt. Maybe it's because you find the absurdity of knocking yourself out 364 days a year and getting a $5 Hallmark card saying "Relax and enjoy your special day" by way of recognition. Or maybe you are stuck with celebrating the day in a way that doesn't suit you because you aren't the top dog mom in the family. Personally I fall into the last category: I happened to marry into a family who has the ridiculous tradition of the moms doing the cooking and gathering together for a family meal. Oh, yeah, I sure feel special after getting the family off to church, packing them up, and preparing the food. Only cleaning the house for guests on top of it would make my joy complete.
    :devil:

    So, whatever it is that makes your Mother's Day less than a Hallmark moment, this un-Mother's Day thread is for you.

    Oh, and if you are one of those moms that likes the cute poems and is going to get a feel good day, you just shoo off to another thread.
     
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    ok, i have put a cute card on the forum, but i still feel your pain and am fighting my self-pity this weekend. my issue is that my mother and brother- who live in NC and FL respectively, always want to tell me how to raise my difficult child and what what i'm doing wrong and the ways they "emotionally support" him undermine me as his mother, in my humble opinion. you'd have to know the whole situation to understand why this seems so absurd. Nevertheless, I ALWAYS make sure they receive a card, phone call, small gift from my difficult child on birthdays and other appropriate holidays. They NEVER assist him in getting me even a card. maybe i'm just being whiney, but not only does it hurt my feelings and my difficult child says "i want to get you something but i don't know how i can", i'm concerned my difficult child will grow up disregarding other people's feelings. maybe not, but at christmas, there were only gifts under the tree for him- like the whole holiday was made for him. on the other hand, last year my difficult child voluntarily (shock) dug holes in the yard for me to plant some flowers i had bought (these 18 holes were my mother's day present and i was grateful). this year, he said he'd help me get some things done at the house- we'll see.
     
  3. helpmehelphim

    helpmehelphim New Member

    Well first, here's my Happy Mother's Day to you SRL! I would cook for you and I promise to make what you like...better yet, take you to your favorite restaurant with- a glass of vino (wouldn't that be fun...the moms get together and take each other out- oh yes, off OP, it's Mother's Day).

    I actually have to work tomorrow all day long...and I'm not sure where that fits into this because sometimes the pressure to make certain days a certain way is a sure fire opposite here and it seems for some reason, history shows that Mother's Day (again here) is one of those days. And yet, I always hope that it'll be different...

    I guess working will take the guess work out of it. It'll be different because I won't be here (which icon fits that). I'm not even sure I make sense to myself anymore...
     
  4. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    I'm with you SRL. I don't feel special if I'm treated poorly the rest of the year.
    Sounds like time for you to assert top dog status in your house and make a new Mother's Day tradition. What can they do? Fire you from the Mothers Union? :smirk:
     
  5. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    I'm with you SRL. I don't feel special if I'm treated poorly the rest of the year.
    Sounds like time for you to assert top dog status in your house and make a new Mother's Day tradition. What can they do? Fire you from the Mothers Union? :smirk:
     
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    SRL-
    I'm on the fence, my household usually tries to treat me kindly and do something fun, but I'm usually in a quandary regarding my own mother. I get so disgusted by her difficult child-ish behavior that I merely go through the motions at best for her. It makes me sad.
     
  7. mattsmom27

    mattsmom27 Active Member

    I feel like celebrating an un mothers day this year as well, silly because difficult child is doing great and very loving to me. easy child of course will have hidden away some gift made at school and proudly bring it to me tomorrow morning in bed. I'll love that part. I just tend to feel very unrecognized in my life and very under valued, sometimes like a maid. It's a me thing, not the way they treat me. I have yet to find identity for myself outside of "mother" and I guess to truly honor me as a mom is to always honor the parts of me that are a woman outside of a mother. I think I need to make a resolution to find myself outside of the mother that I am. It is completely self based this feeling I have, I need to spread my wings and find the person whose name used to be Melissa.
     
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I have to say that kt has been angelic (for kt) this weekend. However, like Fran & SRL, I'd rather have the day to day respect along with appropriate behaviors versus one day in honor.

    In many ways, children who are adopted, struggle with Mother's Day each year. It's a loyalty thing - an abandonment thing.

    I cannot get excited enough over kt's offerings this year. She's spread this out over 4 days & it's getting to me.

    I told husband not to let kt make me breakfast in the morning - it's not worth the mess afterward. No one cleans up. Not a very fun thing.

    This is my first year with-o my mother - just not in the right frame of mind.
     
  9. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    I had to reply because I love the title to the thread, SRL. The title itself made me LMAO......too bad it's needed... :frown:

    Hugs to all (it's no better for me),
    Suz
     
  10. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    Doesn't sound fun at all....


    Well, like difficult child said this morning, "Daddy got you a Mother's Day card." Very thoughtful of husband; difficult child? MD doesn't mean a thing to him.
     
  11. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    The last two weeks eldest has provided me with some jaw dropping stunts - it has been the absolute worst and am tired of having to peel myself off the ceiling with the lies and manilipulations, not to mention pulling the ever so suttle "you won't see me and the kids anymore" drama.

    She has managed to envoke some not so motherly feelings lately - so to me, if I don't have to have any conversations with her or even see her for a while, especially tomorrow, cause I surely will implode listening to her bs, I will make it thru Mothers Day just fine.

    Marcie
     
  12. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    SRL- That is pretty funny!!! I just said to husband should I tell the ladies mother in law(who I don't get along with that well) is the only one that thought of me on Mother's Day!!! He laughed and said Oh, don't tell them!!!

    He really tried but things, like usual, have been chaotic... I just get P'od over the fact that I never get a break... It is constant... I would have loved for husband and I to get away, breakfast or something... going out with the kids is too much right now. (Sensory overload)

    I just keep it in the back of my mind, someday.

    Happy Fricken Mother's Day!!! HA HA
     
  13. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    I got three "coupons" from Son.

    1. "This coupon is good for: Giving you $10.00"

    (The $10 dollars left over from the $20 you gave me because you threatened to tie me to the car and drag me if you didn't get back your change)

    2. "This coupon is good for: Washing Your Car"

    (Of course, I'll get bored and say "it's too hard" and leave you to finish it and clean up the mess)

    3. "This coupon is good for: Celebrating your birthday"

    (Ok, well, that's in October. How about a simple "happy mother's day" TODAY. by the way: I didn't even get one of those)


    Tear, jeers, and grumbles. I do believe I have met all the criteria.
     
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Clever, clever, clever thread! Sending support to everyone. DDD
     
  15. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Yeah, not a great Mother's Day here-difficult child managed to call me a few choice names today and scratched off skin on my finger when deciding he didn't want to take his medications- and we spent most of the day stuck in traffic. On top of that easy child has been a grouch. Oh well, such is life.
     
  16. judi

    judi Active Member

    husband bought me flowers and we planted today - it was fun. easy child and his wife came over and they are always a treat (and I meant that positively). Then...tonight I did the lawn (one acre of hills). husband has asthma and allergies and he simply can't do it anymore. It takes about 2 hours to do it.


    Overall, though I didn't have contact with difficult child it was okay. My mother has been gone 21 years now and I still miss her.
     
  17. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Today, difficult child and I went to Old Navy to get a 'few things'. $300 later....

    Anyway, when we first got there we had to wait for this parking spot (difficult child in training was driving) while this poor mother juggled her kids out of the car so she too could go shopping...two of her kiddos were in carseats and the other [say 5 yrs] was running wildly up and down the sidewalk ignoring her mother altogether. Finally, this poor mom saw us waiting and waved us in just before I was ready to convince difficult child to pick another spot. So, we are parked and the mother apologized profusely..."No need, I remember what its like - Happy mothers day" I said and moved on. Inside Old Navy, the same little difficult child is running wildly through the store much to her mother's chagrin...mother yelling, "difficult child! Stop it and stay with me!"...while the little difficult child sneered at her mom. lol.

    Later, we're checking out and the store is closing and who do we meet at that counter? Yes, the mom with the 3 kids, struggling to check out while her difficult child is madly pushing her little brother all over the place and getting in everyone's way. difficult child and I scooted around her smiling, (haha, difficult child smiling at another difficult child) as the mother grabbed the stroller and screamed at her difficult child to "STOP IT!". I smiled at her but she scowled back.

    I thought, "Wow, it hasn't been that long of a time since I was that lady" and then realized that while difficult child is still a difficult child, her behaviors have changed and I have changed as well.

    Being a mom is hard. Being a mom to a difficult child is even harder. Until you've been there, you just don't know. Hugs everyone.
     
  18. Sue C

    Sue C Active Member

    Well, Angela had flowers sent to the house yesterday. A card from her arrived in the mail and it said: "Sorry I ruined Easter dinner, but I stand by what I said. But I love you anyway 'cuz you're my mom." I called her to thank her for the flowers. I asked if I'd be seeing her today. She said no, they were invited to Rick's parent's house for dinner. Whatever. I told her she forgot my birthday. She said she was mad at me and that is why. Nice, huh.

    I spent the entire day at my mom's house. To me, Mother's Day is all about her. It doesn't matter to me.

    There was a miscommunication with Melissa, and she thought I was riding to my mom's with her after she got home from church. I am pretty sure I told her last night I was going to ride in with husband on his way to work ('cuz it's nearly an hour away and I couldn't face listening to the cr*p Melissa talks about). She called me up around 11 a.m. and was mad that I was not home. (she had stayed overnight at a friend's house) She said she was mad and wasn't coming to grandma's. Then around 1:30 pm, she called to say she was coming over. She gave me the nicest mushiest card and some very nice presents (she always goes overboard). But then tonight she got crabby 'cuz I didn't want to watch a movie with her 'cuz it's too late. Whatever.

    I said to husband, why can't I have "normal" girls?????!!!!!

    Sue
     
  19. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Kanga managed to trick husband into buying her and I matching bracelets as my mother's day gift from her (note she still owes me $32). She didn't even wrap mine and all but threw it at me as she scrambled to put hers on and show it off. I put it on briefly but then took it off. I hate bracelets. I hate that she can't do one nice thing for me without twisting it to her advantage.

    On a positive note, my other 3 all made very touching homemade gifts that I just loved. And husband got me flowers and we ordered the gps device I've wanted all year.
     
  20. CCRidr2

    CCRidr2 Sheena-Warrior Momma

    SRL,

    Didn't most of us have that un-Mother's Day thing going?? It would be nice to get our perfect day but we probably never will. :sad: My kids usually try to be nice but it usually breaks down into some WWF match or some similar stuggle.

    I did get a coupon from our difficult child "for doing anything you want me to do".....of course "listen and behave" are not on the list of "anything". But such is life and in my case I chose it knowing, mostly, what I was getting into even if husband didn't see the writing on the wall. husband thought, wrongly of course, that he could "change" my kids' difficult child bio-mom when they got married and that all her problems were attributed to her overly controlling parents. They weren't, of course, as we all well know. But now she is gone, 8 yrs ago, never to be heard from again. We keep watching the obits, just in case. Sadly, we have become her parents instead of becoming our own because of difficult child.

    My only saving grace is that bio mom's mother has been there done that and is my biggest and only support besides husband. All others in our families think we, especially me, are just too hard on him and should "lighten up". My mother in law actually said this to my husband. UGH! Anyway, I'm going to be nice to ME today! :smile: Hope you all can do the same!
     
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