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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Moved son out yesterday and am heartbroken
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<blockquote data-quote="WiseChoices" data-source="post: 751458" data-attributes="member: 24254"><p>It is your son's disease calling the shots, not your son . Do whatever feels best to you for his birthday. Addicts live on excuses in an effort to hide their addiction which is a source of great shame.</p><p></p><p>He told your daughter, not you, that he was taking a break from Mom. So maybe this was just his way of trying to get out of the family dinner where he can't hide himself very well .He told you directly that he loves you and would call . I would not take the not calling personally. It is most likely his addiction and his need to hide the addiction why he doesn't call .it's about him, not you.</p><p></p><p>What addicts need is compassion (encouragement and understanding) without enabling. A detached with love attitude . You could send a text and offer to meet for a birthday meal or a cup of coffee , make a home made cake - if that feels right .</p><p>I would regret not contacting my son for his birthday, no matter what , but it's important to heed one's own feelings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WiseChoices, post: 751458, member: 24254"] It is your son's disease calling the shots, not your son . Do whatever feels best to you for his birthday. Addicts live on excuses in an effort to hide their addiction which is a source of great shame. He told your daughter, not you, that he was taking a break from Mom. So maybe this was just his way of trying to get out of the family dinner where he can't hide himself very well .He told you directly that he loves you and would call . I would not take the not calling personally. It is most likely his addiction and his need to hide the addiction why he doesn't call .it's about him, not you. What addicts need is compassion (encouragement and understanding) without enabling. A detached with love attitude . You could send a text and offer to meet for a birthday meal or a cup of coffee , make a home made cake - if that feels right . I would regret not contacting my son for his birthday, no matter what , but it's important to heed one's own feelings. [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
Moved son out yesterday and am heartbroken
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