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Movie "The Orphan" AD?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 288008" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I did not see "The Good Son" when it was out, and I will not see this movie. The entertainment industry makes adoption seem both second class and horrible. </p><p>On the other hand, I lived with a dangerous young man for three years. He had sexual relations with my three year old and five year old son AND another son we had at the time, a seven year old who had already had enough sexual abuse. He did not just do it one time. He also held a knife to the kids to force them to do things to each other. And he threatened to burn down the house if they told us, and convinced them that he was more powerful than anyone, that he was the Devil. </p><p>The entertainment industry distorts things one way. The Adoption System distorts things another way, unless it has changed. Although we got some warnings, we were never prepared for the possibility of this child's behaviors. We were told he was "a little cognitively delayed" but "a great kid." He had no psychiatric problems. I think it's ok for people to know what they can be in for if they adopt disturbed children, who had probably been sexually abused, out of the foster care system. Too many of us think love will heal them. There are dangers to adopting older kids, especially if you have younger ones that they could hurt and, trust me, you never hear the warnings (or at least nobody mentioned them to us). </p><p>I hate distortion and lies on both sides. I never miss the child who was once my son because of how frightened of him my other ones are. As for the seven year old that he also sexually violated, we weren't sure if he was involved or not because we had just gotten him and nobody was saying much right after it all came out, so we sent him and the abuser to seperate psychiatric hospitals and then they were transferred to different RTCs. The seven year old went to foster care, with the hope of returning to us, but he was so happy in his foster home, we agreed to relinquish our rights and let him be adopted by them. I still almost cry when I think about that child. He is doing GREAT (we get updates). The other one, the abuser--we got many updates on him too because they wouldn't let us relinquish for a long time. He continued to offend, although he got caught in the RTCs. He is eighteen or nineteen now. I am glad he is out of our lives and I'm ok with rational, realistic portrayals of some adopted children who are like him. After all, he's not the only one and people should know. BUT...they go way overboard on television and in the movies. Don't even get me started...grrrrrrrr...I guess this was partly a vent. The experience with our ex-son is a permanant scar on the family and a PTSD trigger. So maybe I babbled too much...sorry.<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 288008, member: 1550"] I did not see "The Good Son" when it was out, and I will not see this movie. The entertainment industry makes adoption seem both second class and horrible. On the other hand, I lived with a dangerous young man for three years. He had sexual relations with my three year old and five year old son AND another son we had at the time, a seven year old who had already had enough sexual abuse. He did not just do it one time. He also held a knife to the kids to force them to do things to each other. And he threatened to burn down the house if they told us, and convinced them that he was more powerful than anyone, that he was the Devil. The entertainment industry distorts things one way. The Adoption System distorts things another way, unless it has changed. Although we got some warnings, we were never prepared for the possibility of this child's behaviors. We were told he was "a little cognitively delayed" but "a great kid." He had no psychiatric problems. I think it's ok for people to know what they can be in for if they adopt disturbed children, who had probably been sexually abused, out of the foster care system. Too many of us think love will heal them. There are dangers to adopting older kids, especially if you have younger ones that they could hurt and, trust me, you never hear the warnings (or at least nobody mentioned them to us). I hate distortion and lies on both sides. I never miss the child who was once my son because of how frightened of him my other ones are. As for the seven year old that he also sexually violated, we weren't sure if he was involved or not because we had just gotten him and nobody was saying much right after it all came out, so we sent him and the abuser to seperate psychiatric hospitals and then they were transferred to different RTCs. The seven year old went to foster care, with the hope of returning to us, but he was so happy in his foster home, we agreed to relinquish our rights and let him be adopted by them. I still almost cry when I think about that child. He is doing GREAT (we get updates). The other one, the abuser--we got many updates on him too because they wouldn't let us relinquish for a long time. He continued to offend, although he got caught in the RTCs. He is eighteen or nineteen now. I am glad he is out of our lives and I'm ok with rational, realistic portrayals of some adopted children who are like him. After all, he's not the only one and people should know. BUT...they go way overboard on television and in the movies. Don't even get me started...grrrrrrrr...I guess this was partly a vent. The experience with our ex-son is a permanant scar on the family and a PTSD trigger. So maybe I babbled too much...sorry.:frowny: [/QUOTE]
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