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General Parenting
Moving Beyond The Explosive Child
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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 162802" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>SRL, your difficult child's story is really a teaching foundation for many parents who have young difficult child's with similar behaviors. </p><p>I understand what you are saying about not tipping the boat. You want function and stability but adolescence doesn't always give you that with easy child's let alone difficult child's. </p><p>My limited experience with difficult child's says they tend to have a sense of entitlement and always have it. </p><p>In my black and white world, it should now become "fair" with his siblings. He should have the same expectations(within his ability) and consequences. This is also good for the sibs. They see you didn't give up on difficult child but that when he is able the expectations will be more equal. (not necessarily the same)</p><p></p><p>First I would probably speak to him and put the plan out on an intellectual level so he understands why the rules are changing. You are simply trying to keep him level with his peer group. If he wants to be "normal" then these are normal expectations. </p><p></p><p>He will fight it at times but he will understand your purpose. He seems to process that from you. </p><p></p><p>No teen learns everything from home. They do get basic life lessons but a lot of what we say and teach is not evident until they are in the outside world. </p><p></p><p>You have a pretty good handle of what he needs. I would follow your instincts and most importantly don't parent out of fear.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 162802, member: 3"] SRL, your difficult child's story is really a teaching foundation for many parents who have young difficult child's with similar behaviors. I understand what you are saying about not tipping the boat. You want function and stability but adolescence doesn't always give you that with easy child's let alone difficult child's. My limited experience with difficult child's says they tend to have a sense of entitlement and always have it. In my black and white world, it should now become "fair" with his siblings. He should have the same expectations(within his ability) and consequences. This is also good for the sibs. They see you didn't give up on difficult child but that when he is able the expectations will be more equal. (not necessarily the same) First I would probably speak to him and put the plan out on an intellectual level so he understands why the rules are changing. You are simply trying to keep him level with his peer group. If he wants to be "normal" then these are normal expectations. He will fight it at times but he will understand your purpose. He seems to process that from you. No teen learns everything from home. They do get basic life lessons but a lot of what we say and teach is not evident until they are in the outside world. You have a pretty good handle of what he needs. I would follow your instincts and most importantly don't parent out of fear. [/QUOTE]
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