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General Parenting
Moving Beyond The Explosive Child
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<blockquote data-quote="smallworld" data-source="post: 163164" data-attributes="member: 2423"><p>SRL, I personally don't plan on giving up on TEC. I really like the philosophy behind it and use it for my major difficult child son and for my daughters, even though they border on easy child. I think practicing the skill of collaborative problem solving can reach well into adulthood and can be used with friends, relatives, spouses and work colleagues. </p><p> </p><p>TEC doesn't mean leniency and letting everything go. Natural and logical consequences can still be employed. But to my way of thinking, focusing on solutions instead of consequences helps kids take ownership over their problem behaviors and learn from their mistakes.</p><p> </p><p>If you are feeling "stuck," I think it means you need to move more Basket C items into Basket B where you can work together with your difficult child to improve behavior. But I offer two caveats: Only work on one item at a time, and don't do it too close to starting middle school. It's wonderful that your difficult child is doing so well, but middle school can be a time of intense upheaval.</p><p> </p><p>I hope you are able to increase expectations in a way that feels comfortable to both you and your difficult child. Good luck.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="smallworld, post: 163164, member: 2423"] SRL, I personally don't plan on giving up on TEC. I really like the philosophy behind it and use it for my major difficult child son and for my daughters, even though they border on easy child. I think practicing the skill of collaborative problem solving can reach well into adulthood and can be used with friends, relatives, spouses and work colleagues. TEC doesn't mean leniency and letting everything go. Natural and logical consequences can still be employed. But to my way of thinking, focusing on solutions instead of consequences helps kids take ownership over their problem behaviors and learn from their mistakes. If you are feeling "stuck," I think it means you need to move more Basket C items into Basket B where you can work together with your difficult child to improve behavior. But I offer two caveats: Only work on one item at a time, and don't do it too close to starting middle school. It's wonderful that your difficult child is doing so well, but middle school can be a time of intense upheaval. I hope you are able to increase expectations in a way that feels comfortable to both you and your difficult child. Good luck. [/QUOTE]
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