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General Parenting
Moving towards order in my house
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 502043" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I think it is a good idea to eliminate chaos in your house. Getting rid of the pets may be a good step forward. Paying real attention to yourself and your patterns. Very often adhd adults don't realize that they are making choices that impact their children and diminish the sense of orderly living. I "might" even suggest having a conversation with her where you share ways each of you can make your home happier and more peaceful. Some simple things may be bothering her, too. For example at my adult adhd daughter's house the radio is always on and the television is always on, meals are rarely at the same time, cleanup times are hit and miss etc. and, of course, their are animals who also are fed etc. on a hit and miss timing schedule. She has two difficult child's who function much better when life is "boring" and scheduled. </p><p></p><p>Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, she is traumatized by the departure of her Father figure and the emotions that have been in "her" house lately. She may have overheard more than you think and might be frightened by the changes. As a very experienced (and imperfect) parent I know that most children blame themselves for adult problems, are fearful of changes and often lash out because they want the familiar back again. </p><p></p><p>These are the first two steps I suggest before identifying punishments for not adapting to new rules. She's kinda faced with alot of new stuff already and it seems that addressing her concerns and your joint effort to improve your homelife should come first. Hugs DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 502043, member: 35"] I think it is a good idea to eliminate chaos in your house. Getting rid of the pets may be a good step forward. Paying real attention to yourself and your patterns. Very often adhd adults don't realize that they are making choices that impact their children and diminish the sense of orderly living. I "might" even suggest having a conversation with her where you share ways each of you can make your home happier and more peaceful. Some simple things may be bothering her, too. For example at my adult adhd daughter's house the radio is always on and the television is always on, meals are rarely at the same time, cleanup times are hit and miss etc. and, of course, their are animals who also are fed etc. on a hit and miss timing schedule. She has two difficult child's who function much better when life is "boring" and scheduled. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, she is traumatized by the departure of her Father figure and the emotions that have been in "her" house lately. She may have overheard more than you think and might be frightened by the changes. As a very experienced (and imperfect) parent I know that most children blame themselves for adult problems, are fearful of changes and often lash out because they want the familiar back again. These are the first two steps I suggest before identifying punishments for not adapting to new rules. She's kinda faced with alot of new stuff already and it seems that addressing her concerns and your joint effort to improve your homelife should come first. Hugs DDD [/QUOTE]
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