gcvmom
Here we go again!
In true CYA mode, here is his heart-felt response:
And here (so far) is my reply:
Good Morning,
I am extremely sorry if difficult child 2 and my conversation of yesterday has been misconceived as an insensitive response to his disability. I apologize if that is the crux of the problem. However, I would like to clarify what transpired.
The assignment in question was an in-class assignment. Students were given the entire period to complete this assignment. Most students completed this in class and turned it in. However, I extended the due date giving the weekend to complete the assignment because many GATE students were out preparing for the dance. The due date should have read 5/16 but I gave students extra time to complete. My concern is not only that the work was submitted late but that difficult child 2 may not have been on task during class. If he needed assistance in order to complete the task on time, he should have asked for help during class.
At our back-to-school night I made it very clear to parents my policy regarding late work. At the beginning of the 4th quarter, I sent home, two separate written notices, that I would not be accepting late work in the fourth quarter. All students were well aware of the policy as other GATE teachers have communicated the same. difficult child 2 witnessed an event in the classroom where another student (one without an IEP) was told I would not accept the late assignment. I did ask him if he thought it fair that other students were not allowed to turn in their assignments late.
I am well aware of difficult child 2's IEP and I have not forgotten nor have I disregarded his disability. Having raised a son diagnosed as bipolar and with aspergers syndrome, I know that instructions and boundaries must be made clear and concise in order to sink in and be internalized. Perimeters must be set or tasks will not be completed.
Ask difficult child 2 if he has the assignment. He does not. I accepted the assignment with the challenge that difficult child 2 would turn in all of his remaining assignments on time. To do otherwise is to imply that I and other teachers will take work whenever difficult child 2 decides to turn it in. I have every intention of giving him credit for the assignment but not before I made clear his responsibility in the matter.
Obviously, difficult child 2 did not tell a complete story. He may have wanted to cover his responsibility by shifting the focus to my reaction.
After my conversation with difficult child 2, I immediately went to talk with Mrs. Case Manager. I told her about our conversation and she related some equally troublesome behaviors of late. It is the end of the year and many students, after testing, begin to "check out." Behavior, responsibility, and discipline begins to slip as we get closer to the end of the year. I am trying to keep difficult child 2 "on track" and ready for high school.
difficult child 2 is extremely bright. In fact, as hard as this may be for you to believe, he is one of my favorites. Having experienced very difficult times with my own son, I know from experience the need to set "fences" and make clear the expectations that are required for success. difficult child 2 can meet these demands when held accountable. Life will not bend the rules to accommodate his disability. difficult child 2 needs to learn to identify his weaknesses, rely on his strengths, and develop skills to overcome his problems.
Middle school is a difficult time for all students let alone those who struggle with learning disabilities. Next year difficult child 2 will be forced to work harder than he has ever worked before. It would be a disservice to difficult child 2 if I did not properly prepare him for the rigor of high school by encouraging him to be disciplined and responsible.
I am sorry that our mutual goal of helping difficult child 2 to reach his potential has been interrupted by a misunderstood attempt on my part to prepare difficult child 2 for his next great challenge. If you feel that we need a meeting to discuss this with all parties present, feel free to email me or call.
Mr. Social Studies Teacher
And here (so far) is my reply:
Hello Mr. Social Studies Teacher,
The crux of the problem is the effect your well-intended comments have on difficult child 2. I find it neither appropriate nor relevent that he be compared to other students or made to feel guilty for having accommodations that violate your classroom policies.
difficult child 2 does not choose to turn work in late. He does not intentionally forget to write down assignments in his planner. He does not enjoy knowing that his deficits and his underdeveloped organization skills result in grades that are not reflective of his true abilities. Furthermore, daily reminders that he's underperforming in the eyes of his peers and teachers do little to bolster his confidence and already tenuous self esteem, and make it much harder to advocate for one's self.
We have been aware of a change in difficult child 2's behavior at home for several weeks, and in fact I contacted Mrs. Case Manager 5/11 to inquire about his teachers' observations and whether they were similar to ours. At the time, she said she felt he was actually more on task than usual, but we decided to have bloodwork ordered anyway to check his medication levels. We do not yet know the results.
As the parent of difficult child 2's older sibling, who also is very bright and has both medical and psychiatric problems, I am well aware of the demands that will be placed on difficult child 2 in high school. I also realize that there are many paths to successful adulthood that a child may take. Having a disability may mean difficult child 2 takes a path less conventional, perhaps slightly longer, but no less rewarding or fulfilling than the course taken by his peers.
Thank you for supporting the provisions in difficult child 2's IEP. We will continue to work with him here at home, doing our best to help him submit assignments on time.
Sincerely,
gcvmom