Mtng next Tues with-all teachers at difficult child's school ... and a good email

[TerryJ2]

I looked up difficult child's grades last week and was stunned to see that he had an F in tech ed, a D in Spanish, six missing assignments in math, and a bunch of other unfinished assignments.
I lost a whole mo of my life with-sciatica and a pulled hamstring and boy, you sure can't be sick and have a difficult child! They get away with-so much! I was only able to access some of his work online over the mo of Dec., and I really should have called a friend, given them the passwords, and had them print it out and bring it over to the house. Live and learn.

The good news is that the teachers seem cooperative and are coming up with-plans and ideas. (A day late and a dollar short, but wth.)

I volunteered in difficult child's soc studies class today (all three classes). They are studying WWII and making propaganda and volunteer posters so I was offering art advice. I ran into difficult child's math teacher and she chatted for a long time and said that she couldn't figure out what I was talking about when she first met difficult child--he was a charmer, so polite, a breath of fresh air, loveable in class ... and then everything began to unravel.
I laughed and said, "I know, people meet him and nobody believes me!"
She said she believed me, but she now understood how it all worked. She said you have to stay on him every minute or he'll unravel and get away with everything.
Uh, yeah ...

So, here's her email from last night:

difficult child just left. He did tonight’s homework beautifully and finished half of last night’s homework which he hadn’t done. When he has no distractions, and it’s just us, he works so well. If there are other students, he likes to talk which I why I moved his seat today. I put him at a table at the front of my class with another young man. I told both of them if they talked I would move the other young man. difficult child is very close to me now as a result and maybe this will help. When difficult child is on task like this afternoon after school, he reminds me of the difficult child we saw when he first arrived. I don’t know why he tries so hard to get out of doing his work because when he completes it, it is beautiful!! Literally! His handwriting is very neat and organized on the page. Hopefully, he will finish the rest of last night’s homework tonight. Maybe he can be encouraged to do his homework every night and if he does it on time, he won’t have to make up the other work. I don’t know how you feel about that but I want him to stay on top of the work we are doing now. It’s important for the next quiz and subsequent test.

Whatever you want to do as far as helping him is fine with me. Just let us know and we will try to help as much as possible.
He can stay after also. That really seems to work for difficult child. He works diligently when he stays and I think it’s good for him to see himself in this light.

 

[susiestar]

Sounds like you have really great teachers. I hope that they are able to keep him working.

 

[TerryJ2]

Me too! He surely can't seem to do it on his own. Problem is, the teachers get tired of doing so much extra work to keep him on task. Maybe the fact that this is a public school, and they're required to help because of teh 504 (and possible IEP), and they see the parents helping, will go a longer way.

 

[TeDo]

I wish I had that problem. My difficult child's teachers get upset because he does most of is work at home. If he gets overwhelmed or if the class is too noisy, which all of his are, then he refuses to work in class and brings it home to do instead. I wish I had even ONE teacher that was willing to work with me like that.

Good for you Terry!

 

[gcvmom]

Glad SOMEBODY finally sees what you've been telling them all along! I hope the meeting results in realistic expectations, positive supports, and a solid plan of action!

 

[klmno]

Terry, your post sounded like a carbon copy of what I was hearing and seeing at school when my son was in middle school. He had a math teacher that said the same thing, worked well with him, and really got his attitude turned around about school and education. Unfortunately, the teachers and difficult child had the same issues about staying on task and them not having time to constantly keep him on task. We put it in his IEP that he would be in a resource class instead of regular study hall. The resource teacher (not to be confused with school resource officer) kept him on task and difficult child usually completed most homework there which really helped the battle at home, not to mention his grades. And since difficult child sometimes forgot things- conveniently or not- he could also use that time to pick up assignments from teacher if he needed to, see them individually on occasion, etc. I heard that resource classes in high school aren't quite the same and are more for kids with severe Learning Disability (LD), but that might just apply to that sd jurisdiction. Anyway, this might be worth checking into for your son.

 

[TerryJ2]

Good idea. THank you!