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Musings on my mother living with me..Input needed
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 175673" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Marcie, go carefully on this one. She's whining about where she is now and that could simply be her way of saying she misses you. You don't know if she is as miserable as that all the time. Find out first. Some people carry on like that as their way to show you they love you. You might have her living with you, and she might be on the phone to aunt and niece about how lonely and bored she is, with you.</p><p></p><p>And how about the difficult children? Is your mother going to begin telling you how to raise kids?</p><p></p><p>I could be wrong, this could be the best thing you ever considered doing. But I agree with your thoughts, try it out first before you even suggest it. Don't hold out hope of anything until you are fairly sure you could cope.</p><p></p><p>Also, if you do go down this route - make sure you have really good health care in place for her. Get a copy of her file transferred to your local doctor even if she's just visiting, so if an emergency arises your local doctor has her history.</p><p></p><p>We've got mother in law living around the corner. She was adamant she didn't want to live in our pockets, although I would have accepted this. I'm glad she is independent, though. I think she is happier that way and there are times she really gets on my nerves. I'm good at ignoring it, though. You have to be. And most of the time, because I work at it, she and I get on really well. </p><p></p><p>Whenever sister in law visits I try to fade into the background, because I'm only daughter in law, not daughter, I don't want sister in law to ever feel that I'm in competition in any way. besides, when she's visiting I feel they need their private time together.</p><p></p><p>On our honeymoon, husband & I visited the Tiger Balm Gardens in Singapore and acquainted ourselves with Chinese mythology. One particular diorama had a strong message - it showed a young woman breastfeeding a very old woman, while a baby cried in the corner. It is a story about how important is filial duty - the daughter in law is feeding her mother in law with the only nourishment the toothless old woman can now take in, and feeds the old woman before even her own son. This is the Chinese ideal of filial duty.</p><p>You need to keep this in mind during the really annoying times. Whenever things get at you, remember you're not having to go that far!</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 175673, member: 1991"] Marcie, go carefully on this one. She's whining about where she is now and that could simply be her way of saying she misses you. You don't know if she is as miserable as that all the time. Find out first. Some people carry on like that as their way to show you they love you. You might have her living with you, and she might be on the phone to aunt and niece about how lonely and bored she is, with you. And how about the difficult children? Is your mother going to begin telling you how to raise kids? I could be wrong, this could be the best thing you ever considered doing. But I agree with your thoughts, try it out first before you even suggest it. Don't hold out hope of anything until you are fairly sure you could cope. Also, if you do go down this route - make sure you have really good health care in place for her. Get a copy of her file transferred to your local doctor even if she's just visiting, so if an emergency arises your local doctor has her history. We've got mother in law living around the corner. She was adamant she didn't want to live in our pockets, although I would have accepted this. I'm glad she is independent, though. I think she is happier that way and there are times she really gets on my nerves. I'm good at ignoring it, though. You have to be. And most of the time, because I work at it, she and I get on really well. Whenever sister in law visits I try to fade into the background, because I'm only daughter in law, not daughter, I don't want sister in law to ever feel that I'm in competition in any way. besides, when she's visiting I feel they need their private time together. On our honeymoon, husband & I visited the Tiger Balm Gardens in Singapore and acquainted ourselves with Chinese mythology. One particular diorama had a strong message - it showed a young woman breastfeeding a very old woman, while a baby cried in the corner. It is a story about how important is filial duty - the daughter in law is feeding her mother in law with the only nourishment the toothless old woman can now take in, and feeds the old woman before even her own son. This is the Chinese ideal of filial duty. You need to keep this in mind during the really annoying times. Whenever things get at you, remember you're not having to go that far! Marg [/QUOTE]
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