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My 13 yr old disrespects his stepmom
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<blockquote data-quote="ksm" data-source="post: 548458" data-attributes="member: 12511"><p>Does he spend time with his biomom? Does he spend time alone with biomom? I have gone thru silimar behaviors with my difficult child. We adopted her and little sis when they were 5 and 7 after their bio parents rights were terminated. Since we were grandparents, I thought it would be easy as we had a great relationship. THings would go well for a while, then all of a sudden difficult child's attitude with take a big dive. I am not a professional, but I truly think she struggles with "letting me be the parent" as if she was "forgetting or not loving" her biomom. To bond with me would be like forgetting her "real" mom. At least that is my take on it. Biomom has been in the picture off and on. She never was left alone with them, well, maybe for a few minutes if I had to go to the rest room or answer the phone. I heard from easy child later that biomom was promising the girls she was going to get them back. For many years I think difficult child believed her. Luckily, she has been out of state for almost two years. difficult child still has some problems, but I think a lot if puberty and typical teen stuff, with a little ADD thrown in. Since easy child is my bio grandchild, and technically she is step grandchild, she feels she doesn't fit in. Bio mom doesn't know who bio dad is (narrowed it down to a guy in a town in our state) I think the "I don't know who I am" routine is part of our difficult child's problem. It is so tough... tougher than I ever thought it would be... as I love her as much as any grandmother would love a grandchild. But now I am the mom, and I have to play bad cop most of the time. I would suggest you take over the bad cop routine, and deal with the punishments. He is 13, and while instant consequences are good, I think you could wait until you got home. And at 13, if he is late, I'd let stepmom ignore it and let you go hunting for him. KSM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="ksm, post: 548458, member: 12511"] Does he spend time with his biomom? Does he spend time alone with biomom? I have gone thru silimar behaviors with my difficult child. We adopted her and little sis when they were 5 and 7 after their bio parents rights were terminated. Since we were grandparents, I thought it would be easy as we had a great relationship. THings would go well for a while, then all of a sudden difficult child's attitude with take a big dive. I am not a professional, but I truly think she struggles with "letting me be the parent" as if she was "forgetting or not loving" her biomom. To bond with me would be like forgetting her "real" mom. At least that is my take on it. Biomom has been in the picture off and on. She never was left alone with them, well, maybe for a few minutes if I had to go to the rest room or answer the phone. I heard from easy child later that biomom was promising the girls she was going to get them back. For many years I think difficult child believed her. Luckily, she has been out of state for almost two years. difficult child still has some problems, but I think a lot if puberty and typical teen stuff, with a little ADD thrown in. Since easy child is my bio grandchild, and technically she is step grandchild, she feels she doesn't fit in. Bio mom doesn't know who bio dad is (narrowed it down to a guy in a town in our state) I think the "I don't know who I am" routine is part of our difficult child's problem. It is so tough... tougher than I ever thought it would be... as I love her as much as any grandmother would love a grandchild. But now I am the mom, and I have to play bad cop most of the time. I would suggest you take over the bad cop routine, and deal with the punishments. He is 13, and while instant consequences are good, I think you could wait until you got home. And at 13, if he is late, I'd let stepmom ignore it and let you go hunting for him. KSM [/QUOTE]
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My 13 yr old disrespects his stepmom
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