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My 13 yr old disrespects his stepmom
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 548501" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Welcome NarcolepticInsomniac, I'm glad you found us. You've received some good advice and thoughts from other parents, it's helpful to hear different points of view. When we're right there in the thick of it, it's often not so easy to see the forest for the trees.</p><p></p><p>I am raising my 16 year old granddaughter because her father is deceased and her mother is mentally unstable. When she hit 13 all hell broke loose and she began using me as the target for her anger. She was defiant and acted a lot like you say your son does. I got her into therapy. I took parenting classes. I read books. It was very difficult. But, with time and effort, it did change. </p><p></p><p>Being a teen in the best of circumstances is a complicated time wrought with raging hormones and intense social predicaments they have to wade through. When you add abandonment by the bio mom, a Dad who "works a lot,"and ADHD I believe that would be a recipe for an angry boy who acts out.</p><p></p><p>I don't have a set of answers for you, however, I would read what the others have said and feel your way through it, take what feels right and go in that direction. In my opinion, he needs an avenue of expression, (therapy, healthy real conversations with you about what his needs and feelings are, teen groups) lots of understanding and love, compassion for the loss of his mom and time to spend with you, perhaps alone time, where you guys just do guy stuff and have it be count-on-able for him, a set time he knows is his with you). My first sense was that he's hurting mixed in with teenage boy bravado and their well developed sense of being self focused and he's lashing out at a convenient target. Your wife is likely in need of some real support too, it's a lot to deal with on her own. </p><p></p><p>Hang in there Dad, it's a lot to deal with, but he deserves all the support you can offer him, and so do you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 548501, member: 13542"] Welcome NarcolepticInsomniac, I'm glad you found us. You've received some good advice and thoughts from other parents, it's helpful to hear different points of view. When we're right there in the thick of it, it's often not so easy to see the forest for the trees. I am raising my 16 year old granddaughter because her father is deceased and her mother is mentally unstable. When she hit 13 all hell broke loose and she began using me as the target for her anger. She was defiant and acted a lot like you say your son does. I got her into therapy. I took parenting classes. I read books. It was very difficult. But, with time and effort, it did change. Being a teen in the best of circumstances is a complicated time wrought with raging hormones and intense social predicaments they have to wade through. When you add abandonment by the bio mom, a Dad who "works a lot,"and ADHD I believe that would be a recipe for an angry boy who acts out. I don't have a set of answers for you, however, I would read what the others have said and feel your way through it, take what feels right and go in that direction. In my opinion, he needs an avenue of expression, (therapy, healthy real conversations with you about what his needs and feelings are, teen groups) lots of understanding and love, compassion for the loss of his mom and time to spend with you, perhaps alone time, where you guys just do guy stuff and have it be count-on-able for him, a set time he knows is his with you). My first sense was that he's hurting mixed in with teenage boy bravado and their well developed sense of being self focused and he's lashing out at a convenient target. Your wife is likely in need of some real support too, it's a lot to deal with on her own. Hang in there Dad, it's a lot to deal with, but he deserves all the support you can offer him, and so do you. [/QUOTE]
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My 13 yr old disrespects his stepmom
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