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Substance Abuse
My 19 y/o is turning into a Pothead
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 600404" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Hi there.</p><p></p><p>My daughter also started with pot, only at the tender age of 12!!! I thought that was all she was doing, but it turned out to be much more. We did not bail her out of anything when she got arrested. And we cut off her money supply. We figured, we would provide the necessities for her, but nothing more so she got a job at sixteen part-time, which has really paid off for her. She has a very strong, good work ethic now. I don't think it is a good idea to pay for our gronw kids fun items, especially if they are not responsible or willing to help. She did eventually have to leave our house and she quit her drug use while on her own. Best thing we ever did for her. Ask her. I think sometimes kids continue using drugs because they can and we make it easy for them by bailing th em out of trouble and allowing them to live at home with all the pre-adult perks on our dime.</p><p></p><p>Don't waste your money on a private college and don't try to get overly involved in your son's life choices, such as where he goes to school. I totally agree with Nancy on this one. He isn't interested in working too hard. Pot does kill motivation. Also, kids often get into even deeper trouble if they go away to college and live in a dorm. There is no accountability and if we are paying, well, it's party time on your dime. It's a good rule of thumb in my opinion to let your grown kids fly on their own, make t heir own choices (good and bad) and stay in the background. Our role changes to somebody who can listen and affirm or disagree, but we can no longer control. We have no legal means to do so and the child will only pull away if we try to nose into his life decisions. </p><p></p><p>Are you paying for his cell phone? His car insurance? His gas? His car payments? You get the picture. Stop doing it. He'll get a job or he won't have anything. And that is how he learns to grow up. He should have a part-time job at his age, but you are allowing him to become lazy and entitled...don't feel bad. Lots of us do. But it usually burns us in the end.</p><p></p><p>Your son has no right to bring pot into her house if she doesn't want it there. On that alone, you may think about making him leave.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 600404, member: 1550"] Hi there. My daughter also started with pot, only at the tender age of 12!!! I thought that was all she was doing, but it turned out to be much more. We did not bail her out of anything when she got arrested. And we cut off her money supply. We figured, we would provide the necessities for her, but nothing more so she got a job at sixteen part-time, which has really paid off for her. She has a very strong, good work ethic now. I don't think it is a good idea to pay for our gronw kids fun items, especially if they are not responsible or willing to help. She did eventually have to leave our house and she quit her drug use while on her own. Best thing we ever did for her. Ask her. I think sometimes kids continue using drugs because they can and we make it easy for them by bailing th em out of trouble and allowing them to live at home with all the pre-adult perks on our dime. Don't waste your money on a private college and don't try to get overly involved in your son's life choices, such as where he goes to school. I totally agree with Nancy on this one. He isn't interested in working too hard. Pot does kill motivation. Also, kids often get into even deeper trouble if they go away to college and live in a dorm. There is no accountability and if we are paying, well, it's party time on your dime. It's a good rule of thumb in my opinion to let your grown kids fly on their own, make t heir own choices (good and bad) and stay in the background. Our role changes to somebody who can listen and affirm or disagree, but we can no longer control. We have no legal means to do so and the child will only pull away if we try to nose into his life decisions. Are you paying for his cell phone? His car insurance? His gas? His car payments? You get the picture. Stop doing it. He'll get a job or he won't have anything. And that is how he learns to grow up. He should have a part-time job at his age, but you are allowing him to become lazy and entitled...don't feel bad. Lots of us do. But it usually burns us in the end. Your son has no right to bring pot into her house if she doesn't want it there. On that alone, you may think about making him leave. Keep posting :) [/QUOTE]
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My 19 y/o is turning into a Pothead
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