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Substance Abuse
My 19 year old son is threatening suicide because he said he is sick of even being here
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 719654" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>There is a fine line between taking control and being controlling. I am seriously still worried about this man trying to impose his will on you and your son who will never br his son</p><p></p><p>The time to have family stability is when young. Many of us never get that as a child. I didnt. As an adult, new people wont make up for childhood instability. But again many kids lack stability and turn out fine. Dont try to redo his childhood. You cant. Son needs to grow on his own and find that stability from within. Therapy can help if he is committed and not just trying to get brownie points from you (money). Therapy was the key for my inner healing in spite of childhood abuse. So I hope he is sincere.</p><p></p><p>It is your choice, but the parents here have had little good experiences by paying rent for their adult kids. Let him do it. I believe you did say he can afford it. If he needs food let him apply for Foodshare or go to food pantries. You dont need to rush him a meal every night. That keeps him young. He is 19, not 9, and can learn to cook fof himself. Many men cook. And he needs to learn how to call for and go to services so he can help himself. Mommying him at his age will only keep him needy and immature. That will make him more depressed.</p><p></p><p>Think about this man you are with. I feel his thinkig was not that sound. YOU arent running around naked in his house lol. Neither would a young woman who stayed with his son. As for your son going to sleep for for work, again this is not his son and son is 19. Will he impose a bedtime? I am skittish about how he seems to want to impose his rules all in on a young man who is not even his. I would have been scared off, but we are all different. </p><p></p><p>Get therapy though before going further with this man. Please do this for yourself and all of your grown kids. You dont want another failed marriage. Maybe you should go to premarital counseling. He seems to keep his reasons for his actions from you, and that indicates poor communication.</p><p></p><p>Good luck!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 719654, member: 1550"] There is a fine line between taking control and being controlling. I am seriously still worried about this man trying to impose his will on you and your son who will never br his son The time to have family stability is when young. Many of us never get that as a child. I didnt. As an adult, new people wont make up for childhood instability. But again many kids lack stability and turn out fine. Dont try to redo his childhood. You cant. Son needs to grow on his own and find that stability from within. Therapy can help if he is committed and not just trying to get brownie points from you (money). Therapy was the key for my inner healing in spite of childhood abuse. So I hope he is sincere. It is your choice, but the parents here have had little good experiences by paying rent for their adult kids. Let him do it. I believe you did say he can afford it. If he needs food let him apply for Foodshare or go to food pantries. You dont need to rush him a meal every night. That keeps him young. He is 19, not 9, and can learn to cook fof himself. Many men cook. And he needs to learn how to call for and go to services so he can help himself. Mommying him at his age will only keep him needy and immature. That will make him more depressed. Think about this man you are with. I feel his thinkig was not that sound. YOU arent running around naked in his house lol. Neither would a young woman who stayed with his son. As for your son going to sleep for for work, again this is not his son and son is 19. Will he impose a bedtime? I am skittish about how he seems to want to impose his rules all in on a young man who is not even his. I would have been scared off, but we are all different. Get therapy though before going further with this man. Please do this for yourself and all of your grown kids. You dont want another failed marriage. Maybe you should go to premarital counseling. He seems to keep his reasons for his actions from you, and that indicates poor communication. Good luck!! [/QUOTE]
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My 19 year old son is threatening suicide because he said he is sick of even being here
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