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My 20 year old son won't move out. HELP!
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 619227" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Once we start to open our eyes, it doesn't take long to figure out who our kids really are. I'm sorry WaveringFaith, it's no picnic for us to see the truth of who they are. Smashing the phone is an aggressive, destructive act and keeping the door opened for you to see "his work" is obnoxious, he wanted to hurt you............and then sleeping on top of everything else is crazy making for sure.</p><p></p><p>I recall someone else here whose adult child was home all day, insisted they leave the house in the morning when the parent left, in theory to be looking for a job and they couldn't come home until the parent was home from work. I thought that was a good idea. Your son is home alone all day doing nothing, contributing nothing and now has smashed his phone? I would think that constitutes his losing the main privilege he presently has, a roof over his head during the day............. He can walk on over to the public library if looking for a job is too much for him, he can hang at the local park, he can walk all day, he can go to a shelter and try out the beds.........who cares...............just as long as he is OUT OF YOUR HOME FOR THE DAY. You don't have to leave for work worrying about his actions and what he may destroy. Look into other options. Drive him somewhere in the morning and pick him up at night...........I am not a believer in kids being rewarded for bad behavior, I believe there should be consequences for bad behavior.</p><p></p><p>Once you remove him from your home for the day, you may want to look into what the eviction laws are in your state for the likely eventuality of his permanent eviction. In my state, even if you want to evict your own child from your home, you have to go through the legal system, get paperwork and give notice. Check on that so you know what you're dealing with. You may want to research shelters and other options for your son. </p><p></p><p>Mental Illness does not give anyone a pass on being responsible for their actions and behavior. While your son is depressed and lacking in motivation, he could be seeking help for himself on SOME level, if he doesn't, there isn't anything you can do except make sure you and your family and your home are safe and protected and faring well. He is the only one responsible for his actions and his life. And, you have a younger boy who is watching how you handle this. He deserves your time and your love...............</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 619227, member: 13542"] Once we start to open our eyes, it doesn't take long to figure out who our kids really are. I'm sorry WaveringFaith, it's no picnic for us to see the truth of who they are. Smashing the phone is an aggressive, destructive act and keeping the door opened for you to see "his work" is obnoxious, he wanted to hurt you............and then sleeping on top of everything else is crazy making for sure. I recall someone else here whose adult child was home all day, insisted they leave the house in the morning when the parent left, in theory to be looking for a job and they couldn't come home until the parent was home from work. I thought that was a good idea. Your son is home alone all day doing nothing, contributing nothing and now has smashed his phone? I would think that constitutes his losing the main privilege he presently has, a roof over his head during the day............. He can walk on over to the public library if looking for a job is too much for him, he can hang at the local park, he can walk all day, he can go to a shelter and try out the beds.........who cares...............just as long as he is OUT OF YOUR HOME FOR THE DAY. You don't have to leave for work worrying about his actions and what he may destroy. Look into other options. Drive him somewhere in the morning and pick him up at night...........I am not a believer in kids being rewarded for bad behavior, I believe there should be consequences for bad behavior. Once you remove him from your home for the day, you may want to look into what the eviction laws are in your state for the likely eventuality of his permanent eviction. In my state, even if you want to evict your own child from your home, you have to go through the legal system, get paperwork and give notice. Check on that so you know what you're dealing with. You may want to research shelters and other options for your son. Mental Illness does not give anyone a pass on being responsible for their actions and behavior. While your son is depressed and lacking in motivation, he could be seeking help for himself on SOME level, if he doesn't, there isn't anything you can do except make sure you and your family and your home are safe and protected and faring well. He is the only one responsible for his actions and his life. And, you have a younger boy who is watching how you handle this. He deserves your time and your love............... [/QUOTE]
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My 20 year old son won't move out. HELP!
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