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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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<blockquote data-quote="WaveringFaith" data-source="post: 618840" data-attributes="member: 17636"><p>Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and reply. I appreciate your thoughtful response. It is so heartbreaking to see my once healthy vibrant handsome popular hilarious boy become a living zombie cooped up in his room day and night. It is the most horrible feeling to never know what to expect when I get home each day from work. </p><p> </p><p>When he was a junior and senior in HS, he experimented with pot and later admitted he also took some hallucinating mind altering drugs (I think like mushrooms). I'm sure there are risks that they can damage your brain permanently, and it was right around that time that, looking back, he started to change. But who knows. However to answer your question, he has never done any drugs or drank alcohol while in my home. I've watched him like a hawk, so I'm sure of it. It's so sad that he has no desire to even see what the future might hold. I've talked his ears off saying that maybe this job is what he needs, to just be busy, using his hands, I mean.. I'm a very happy person (well, used to be before all this), and I would get depressed if I was staring at 4 walls all day and night. And he did try to go, but couldn't sit through the classroom setting of the course.</p><p> </p><p>My mom, who adores him, has told me that it is all in God's hands. I've done all I can do, aside from having law enforcement take him away in shackles and keep in a padded room. He's such a sweet talker, he will say anything and sound believable. It's funny that you mention that he might be manipulating me, my parents all believe he does - to an extent. Thanksgiving and Christmas Day are the single most special days that I love so much and I'm always on cloud nine with happiness during these days with my family, but my difficult child chose both of those days to be the WORST he had ever been, yelling that he didn't want to be alive anymore, etc.. I've had to detach myself, like you, in order to function each day and care for my other son.</p><p> </p><p>I thought maybe I should try and have that affidavit signed where I make decisions for him, since he clearly can't function on his own, can't even shower or get out of bed. But he is so able-bodied and in shape and the very few times he has seemed to come around (never last for more than 2 days), I can see him doing anything his heart desired! So for me to consider committing him to a hospital just seems so extreme. But in the meantime, each and every single moment I'm in my home with him is a living hell. I never smile or laugh or find true joy in my life anymore. I mean, how can I be happy when my child is suffering every moment of every day? I feel so guilty the rare times my younger son makes me smile or laugh. I don't want his childhood ruined because of my older son's issues.</p><p> </p><p>I went home at lunch to check on him and he was still upset and saying he would be out by tomorrow and "out of my hair", as he said. That's when I took the car keys without him knowing. But I know if he's determined, he will just walk out the door, not caring about impending cold weather or how he will eat or the dangers of the city streets. he just won't care, he will just walk out. Like he did last year in Philly, when the whole world was searching for him. I've offered to go with him to the therapist so we can both sit and talk about what to do. He no longer wants to continue treatment or help. He's completely given up. My dad says I should tell him to wait until saturday when my mom comes back from her cruise. I wanted to laugh at my dad, they are so sweet and naive, they do not know what I've gone through and the extreme of the situation. I with I could just say "Ok son, hold on to that thought.. grandma will know what to do on saturday". God bless them.They are both recently retired and instead of enjoying their new retired life, they have been worrying themselves ill over my son.</p><p> </p><p>Thank you all for hearing my story.. I feel a little better reading other's stories and that I'm not alone. I only wish I knew how to help my poor son. I wish I could just shake him straight, or slap the depression out of him!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="WaveringFaith, post: 618840, member: 17636"] Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and reply. I appreciate your thoughtful response. It is so heartbreaking to see my once healthy vibrant handsome popular hilarious boy become a living zombie cooped up in his room day and night. It is the most horrible feeling to never know what to expect when I get home each day from work. When he was a junior and senior in HS, he experimented with pot and later admitted he also took some hallucinating mind altering drugs (I think like mushrooms). I'm sure there are risks that they can damage your brain permanently, and it was right around that time that, looking back, he started to change. But who knows. However to answer your question, he has never done any drugs or drank alcohol while in my home. I've watched him like a hawk, so I'm sure of it. It's so sad that he has no desire to even see what the future might hold. I've talked his ears off saying that maybe this job is what he needs, to just be busy, using his hands, I mean.. I'm a very happy person (well, used to be before all this), and I would get depressed if I was staring at 4 walls all day and night. And he did try to go, but couldn't sit through the classroom setting of the course. My mom, who adores him, has told me that it is all in God's hands. I've done all I can do, aside from having law enforcement take him away in shackles and keep in a padded room. He's such a sweet talker, he will say anything and sound believable. It's funny that you mention that he might be manipulating me, my parents all believe he does - to an extent. Thanksgiving and Christmas Day are the single most special days that I love so much and I'm always on cloud nine with happiness during these days with my family, but my difficult child chose both of those days to be the WORST he had ever been, yelling that he didn't want to be alive anymore, etc.. I've had to detach myself, like you, in order to function each day and care for my other son. I thought maybe I should try and have that affidavit signed where I make decisions for him, since he clearly can't function on his own, can't even shower or get out of bed. But he is so able-bodied and in shape and the very few times he has seemed to come around (never last for more than 2 days), I can see him doing anything his heart desired! So for me to consider committing him to a hospital just seems so extreme. But in the meantime, each and every single moment I'm in my home with him is a living hell. I never smile or laugh or find true joy in my life anymore. I mean, how can I be happy when my child is suffering every moment of every day? I feel so guilty the rare times my younger son makes me smile or laugh. I don't want his childhood ruined because of my older son's issues. I went home at lunch to check on him and he was still upset and saying he would be out by tomorrow and "out of my hair", as he said. That's when I took the car keys without him knowing. But I know if he's determined, he will just walk out the door, not caring about impending cold weather or how he will eat or the dangers of the city streets. he just won't care, he will just walk out. Like he did last year in Philly, when the whole world was searching for him. I've offered to go with him to the therapist so we can both sit and talk about what to do. He no longer wants to continue treatment or help. He's completely given up. My dad says I should tell him to wait until saturday when my mom comes back from her cruise. I wanted to laugh at my dad, they are so sweet and naive, they do not know what I've gone through and the extreme of the situation. I with I could just say "Ok son, hold on to that thought.. grandma will know what to do on saturday". God bless them.They are both recently retired and instead of enjoying their new retired life, they have been worrying themselves ill over my son. Thank you all for hearing my story.. I feel a little better reading other's stories and that I'm not alone. I only wish I knew how to help my poor son. I wish I could just shake him straight, or slap the depression out of him! [/QUOTE]
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My 20 yr old clinically depressed son refuses help
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