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Substance Abuse
My 21 year old son/help
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<blockquote data-quote="tryingtobestrong" data-source="post: 742596" data-attributes="member: 22817"><p>Hello and welcome </p><p>Your description of your son reminds me of my son who is 24. He doesn't live in the same state as me though. He chose to move to a state where weed is legal as soon as he graduated college. Like you, we have been on this road from hell for a number of years. Started back in high school around age 16... We were so naive as well. His drinking escalated, personality changed, was depressed, was full of anxiety, etc. Like you son, my son is super intelligent. We too have paid for lawyers and never seen a cent back from my son or heard a thank you. </p><p></p><p> I had been in counseling and still am. I was told the more intelligent they are, the harder it is to "crack" them.</p><p></p><p>My son started smoking weed as well as the booze. Treated his girlfriend like trash and finally she left after many years.</p><p>He too has a dui under his belt, spent a night in jail and still it didn't help. Finally now he is sober, completed a 30 day treatment program.. It is early though not even 4 months so I am hopeful but scared. He is doing things all wrong according to my counselor and is headed for relapse. Refused sober living, quit IOP, started a new relationship, etc. </p><p>This has consumed my life as well. I have lost all feelings inside. It is all I think about and worry about. I have turned to God and pray numerous times a day. I am trying to accept that God is in control. Although it may not seem like it is going well, God will see me through. I have a few friends and they know what I have been through and still am going through. They want me to smile again and be happy. It is hard though when it is your child and you wait for the call to come in... It is heart wrenching... My counselor said it is normal for my feelings. I have been like most here through trauma. Every time I hear the same ring tone out in public on some one else's phone, my stomach turns over because I think of when that was my son's ring tone.. I have changed his tone over 4 times now because I can't stand it. </p><p>The drunk calls, the verbal abuse, the worry if he took his life, etc. just awful... I wouldn't wish this on anyone.</p><p>I feel like I am getting numb now. My counselor asked me if my son dies will I be okay? I said "Yes, because I have done all I could plus to me my "real" son has died already."</p><p>So, I don't really have advice because I post on here quite often looking for it. All I can say is that you are not alone.</p><p>Hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="tryingtobestrong, post: 742596, member: 22817"] Hello and welcome Your description of your son reminds me of my son who is 24. He doesn't live in the same state as me though. He chose to move to a state where weed is legal as soon as he graduated college. Like you, we have been on this road from hell for a number of years. Started back in high school around age 16... We were so naive as well. His drinking escalated, personality changed, was depressed, was full of anxiety, etc. Like you son, my son is super intelligent. We too have paid for lawyers and never seen a cent back from my son or heard a thank you. I had been in counseling and still am. I was told the more intelligent they are, the harder it is to "crack" them. My son started smoking weed as well as the booze. Treated his girlfriend like trash and finally she left after many years. He too has a dui under his belt, spent a night in jail and still it didn't help. Finally now he is sober, completed a 30 day treatment program.. It is early though not even 4 months so I am hopeful but scared. He is doing things all wrong according to my counselor and is headed for relapse. Refused sober living, quit IOP, started a new relationship, etc. This has consumed my life as well. I have lost all feelings inside. It is all I think about and worry about. I have turned to God and pray numerous times a day. I am trying to accept that God is in control. Although it may not seem like it is going well, God will see me through. I have a few friends and they know what I have been through and still am going through. They want me to smile again and be happy. It is hard though when it is your child and you wait for the call to come in... It is heart wrenching... My counselor said it is normal for my feelings. I have been like most here through trauma. Every time I hear the same ring tone out in public on some one else's phone, my stomach turns over because I think of when that was my son's ring tone.. I have changed his tone over 4 times now because I can't stand it. The drunk calls, the verbal abuse, the worry if he took his life, etc. just awful... I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I feel like I am getting numb now. My counselor asked me if my son dies will I be okay? I said "Yes, because I have done all I could plus to me my "real" son has died already." So, I don't really have advice because I post on here quite often looking for it. All I can say is that you are not alone. Hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
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