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Substance Abuse
My 29 year old son is homeless and addicted, and 700 miles from me...
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 674704" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi and welcome.... I understand your pain and obsessive worry. I remember when my son was 19 and in jail I thought that was the worst thing that could happen to a parent.... and then a couple of years later my son was living on the streets across the country and that was so much worse...</p><p></p><p>So yes having a kid (no matter how old) on the streets is heartbreaking and worrisome and it is hard to focus on anything else but your worry. </p><p></p><p>And yet they learn to survive, they learn to live on the streets, they learn from others. My son has lived in situations I cant even imagine. </p><p></p><p>But giving your son money while he is using drugs wont get him off the streets... he will use the money for drugs....</p><p></p><p>As others have said you cant save him no matter how much you want to.</p><p></p><p>So I have two suggestions.... one find a good support group for parents such as alanon... this has been an immense help to me. And as part of that do things that you like to do, find things that interest you so you can go on living your life... at first it may be faking it and going through the motions but do things you like to do if for no other reason than to distrat yourself from the worry.</p><p></p><p>And the other is to think about how you would help your son and how you would not. And think about taking a stand.... our stand has been we will help our son when he is wanting to help himself.... and we wont if he is not. And I admit we actually have helped a little when he was on the streets and not seeking real help... we got him a sleeping bag at one point for example. But when he has wanted treatment we have helped him find it.....and there are places like salvation army that provide places for people who want to get clean. </p><p></p><p>Keep posting.... we do understand what you are going through.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 674704, member: 15801"] Hi and welcome.... I understand your pain and obsessive worry. I remember when my son was 19 and in jail I thought that was the worst thing that could happen to a parent.... and then a couple of years later my son was living on the streets across the country and that was so much worse... So yes having a kid (no matter how old) on the streets is heartbreaking and worrisome and it is hard to focus on anything else but your worry. And yet they learn to survive, they learn to live on the streets, they learn from others. My son has lived in situations I cant even imagine. But giving your son money while he is using drugs wont get him off the streets... he will use the money for drugs.... As others have said you cant save him no matter how much you want to. So I have two suggestions.... one find a good support group for parents such as alanon... this has been an immense help to me. And as part of that do things that you like to do, find things that interest you so you can go on living your life... at first it may be faking it and going through the motions but do things you like to do if for no other reason than to distrat yourself from the worry. And the other is to think about how you would help your son and how you would not. And think about taking a stand.... our stand has been we will help our son when he is wanting to help himself.... and we wont if he is not. And I admit we actually have helped a little when he was on the streets and not seeking real help... we got him a sleeping bag at one point for example. But when he has wanted treatment we have helped him find it.....and there are places like salvation army that provide places for people who want to get clean. Keep posting.... we do understand what you are going through. [/QUOTE]
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My 29 year old son is homeless and addicted, and 700 miles from me...
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