Hi, I haven't been on here in awhile or very often but I'm hoping someone has some advice.
My 9 year old (ADHD/ODD) has had a tough year at school, but that isn't new. This year, he has a very structured teacher and he is really making some progress but it has been a battle all the way. He is on medications (ritalin/concerta/clonodine) and we keep working on the dosages but seem to have the ADHD basically under control. That does nothing for the ODD and he is smart enough to find the loopholes in every system we set up for him.
His driving force is video games, like most preteen kids, and we have set up a reward/consequence system set up for his school behavior. He was doing the minimum so we adjusted it to an average, making it harder for him to blow off an entire day. Unfortunately, after a week of success, he is now testing what will happen if he does nothing. He spent the entire day in the office, doing nothing. This means that he has to do the homework at home. Well, I couldn't even get him in the house. I was firm, and he punished me by "running away". He never left the yard across the street from my house but I couldn't get him to come in to take his pills. I have a younger son and some other children that I watch after school (they all do homework together, which seems to work pretty well usually), so I can hardly chase after him. Plus, running after him is exactly what he wanted me to do and doesn't seem to accomplish anything but teach him a new strategy to get me to do what he wants.
I dealt with today by asking a teacher friend to come and intervene, he is talking with him now. I also set up appointments with both his psychiatrist and his therapist (who have little effect on my son, they are more of cheerleaders for my parenting). I don't want him to get in the habit of running away and using this as a tool but I don't know how to show him how good he really has it. He ran away last week, in the pouring rain and it was easy to get him back inside. He has also talked about running away often and has snuck out of his room during a time out in years past.
I just don't know what to do. Any advice?
My 9 year old (ADHD/ODD) has had a tough year at school, but that isn't new. This year, he has a very structured teacher and he is really making some progress but it has been a battle all the way. He is on medications (ritalin/concerta/clonodine) and we keep working on the dosages but seem to have the ADHD basically under control. That does nothing for the ODD and he is smart enough to find the loopholes in every system we set up for him.
His driving force is video games, like most preteen kids, and we have set up a reward/consequence system set up for his school behavior. He was doing the minimum so we adjusted it to an average, making it harder for him to blow off an entire day. Unfortunately, after a week of success, he is now testing what will happen if he does nothing. He spent the entire day in the office, doing nothing. This means that he has to do the homework at home. Well, I couldn't even get him in the house. I was firm, and he punished me by "running away". He never left the yard across the street from my house but I couldn't get him to come in to take his pills. I have a younger son and some other children that I watch after school (they all do homework together, which seems to work pretty well usually), so I can hardly chase after him. Plus, running after him is exactly what he wanted me to do and doesn't seem to accomplish anything but teach him a new strategy to get me to do what he wants.
I dealt with today by asking a teacher friend to come and intervene, he is talking with him now. I also set up appointments with both his psychiatrist and his therapist (who have little effect on my son, they are more of cheerleaders for my parenting). I don't want him to get in the habit of running away and using this as a tool but I don't know how to show him how good he really has it. He ran away last week, in the pouring rain and it was easy to get him back inside. He has also talked about running away often and has snuck out of his room during a time out in years past.
I just don't know what to do. Any advice?