Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
My 81-yr-old cousin is here permanently
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 339731" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Terry, welcome to my world. My mom is 82 and is staying with me. She is talking about going home to Pa when the weather improves in March. Meanwhile the effort of taking a shower even with a shower chair causes her cardiac symptoms. She can not walk without a walker because of her back and spine. She had a fusion and rods inserted years ago but it has just not been able to hold back the deterioration. </p><p>I have slowly taken over her "stuff" over the course of 18 months. I do all her banking and even have her mail sent here. We will go to Pa for doctors appointment. </p><p></p><p>I have realized that issues my mom fought me on like following directions and/or not staying alone were not really computing. I just take care of it and she seems fine. She wants to argue but seems relieved when the decision is taken away from her. </p><p>She decided a year ago to forgo the intense cardiac surgery to enjoy a quality of life. She has been doing well but is considered a terminal cardiac case. </p><p>I have consistently told my mom that when she is healthier maybe she will return home. We all know she isn't going to be healthier any time soon. I think it's a game she needs not to be swallowed in fear of being homeless. She also knows I won't allow her to be in danger regardless of any other objections. She knows I have her doctors on speed dial and they listen to me. LOL. </p><p></p><p>I try very hard to give my mother her dignity and ask what she wants and have a discussion. I have medical power of attorney but as long as she has a voice and some semblance of reality, I will abide by her wishes. Asking her if she wants to be resuscitated is not really something she would understand. It would terrify her. Our goal is to treat everything so she is pain free and unafraid but when her heart stops it will not be restarted. </p><p></p><p>I think being prepared for the inevitable end is important. The goal is a to be comfortable and anxiety free if possible.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 339731, member: 3"] Terry, welcome to my world. My mom is 82 and is staying with me. She is talking about going home to Pa when the weather improves in March. Meanwhile the effort of taking a shower even with a shower chair causes her cardiac symptoms. She can not walk without a walker because of her back and spine. She had a fusion and rods inserted years ago but it has just not been able to hold back the deterioration. I have slowly taken over her "stuff" over the course of 18 months. I do all her banking and even have her mail sent here. We will go to Pa for doctors appointment. I have realized that issues my mom fought me on like following directions and/or not staying alone were not really computing. I just take care of it and she seems fine. She wants to argue but seems relieved when the decision is taken away from her. She decided a year ago to forgo the intense cardiac surgery to enjoy a quality of life. She has been doing well but is considered a terminal cardiac case. I have consistently told my mom that when she is healthier maybe she will return home. We all know she isn't going to be healthier any time soon. I think it's a game she needs not to be swallowed in fear of being homeless. She also knows I won't allow her to be in danger regardless of any other objections. She knows I have her doctors on speed dial and they listen to me. LOL. I try very hard to give my mother her dignity and ask what she wants and have a discussion. I have medical power of attorney but as long as she has a voice and some semblance of reality, I will abide by her wishes. Asking her if she wants to be resuscitated is not really something she would understand. It would terrify her. Our goal is to treat everything so she is pain free and unafraid but when her heart stops it will not be restarted. I think being prepared for the inevitable end is important. The goal is a to be comfortable and anxiety free if possible. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
My 81-yr-old cousin is here permanently
Top