Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My 9 y/o boy has adhd/odd, I dont know how to help him......
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 488825" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I agree cautiously with keeping an open mind about Asperger's. But you have a complex situation here. The others are right, attachment problems could well be complicating the picture.</p><p></p><p>The thing is - whatever the reason, and it does help to identify the reasons - the book helps anyway. It helps you deal with what is now, whatever the label may be. It's like an emergency first aid kit, as well as a long-term management strategy, that you can put in place either on top of any other intervention, or even use it to set the pattern for more professional help.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, read up on all these things - attachment disorders, Asperger's, ADHD, anxiety, social immaturity. Anger management.</p><p></p><p>On the topic of blame - we found (again, using the Explosive Child methods, adapted for this) that we had to keep saying, "Sometimes this is not a blame issue. Sometimes there is nobody to blame. And generally, blaming doesn't fix it. Let's focus on fixing the problem and forget about blame."</p><p>We do tend to focus on blame, because if it is someone else's fault then it is someone else's job to fix it. But when the washing is on the line and a storm comes up, it is not the time to say, "whose job is this?" No, it's all hands to battle stations, everybody pitch in and rescue the washing. Then you are thankful that it didn't get too wet, and that it had a little time to dry on the line first. Finding things to be thankful about can turn the focus from negative to positive. A journal of positive things can help - at the end of each day, what were three things to be thankful about? You can be thankful you're still breathing. You can be thankful that whatever happened that day, you're about to put your head on the pillow. You can be thankful that you had something to eat and have a roof over your head. From there, you can find more to be thankful about. Even if bad stuff happened, you can be thankful it's in the past. Thankful that tomorrow is a fresh day.</p><p></p><p>Unconditional love is really important, and perhaps hardest for an adopted kid to accept is real. it takes a lot more reinforcing.</p><p></p><p>Good for you grabbing the post-adoption resources. Use what you can. And what you can't get, do for yourself until you can get something more. You are capable of this, you know your child better than anyone else. And you have us as a resource.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 488825, member: 1991"] I agree cautiously with keeping an open mind about Asperger's. But you have a complex situation here. The others are right, attachment problems could well be complicating the picture. The thing is - whatever the reason, and it does help to identify the reasons - the book helps anyway. It helps you deal with what is now, whatever the label may be. It's like an emergency first aid kit, as well as a long-term management strategy, that you can put in place either on top of any other intervention, or even use it to set the pattern for more professional help. In the meantime, read up on all these things - attachment disorders, Asperger's, ADHD, anxiety, social immaturity. Anger management. On the topic of blame - we found (again, using the Explosive Child methods, adapted for this) that we had to keep saying, "Sometimes this is not a blame issue. Sometimes there is nobody to blame. And generally, blaming doesn't fix it. Let's focus on fixing the problem and forget about blame." We do tend to focus on blame, because if it is someone else's fault then it is someone else's job to fix it. But when the washing is on the line and a storm comes up, it is not the time to say, "whose job is this?" No, it's all hands to battle stations, everybody pitch in and rescue the washing. Then you are thankful that it didn't get too wet, and that it had a little time to dry on the line first. Finding things to be thankful about can turn the focus from negative to positive. A journal of positive things can help - at the end of each day, what were three things to be thankful about? You can be thankful you're still breathing. You can be thankful that whatever happened that day, you're about to put your head on the pillow. You can be thankful that you had something to eat and have a roof over your head. From there, you can find more to be thankful about. Even if bad stuff happened, you can be thankful it's in the past. Thankful that tomorrow is a fresh day. Unconditional love is really important, and perhaps hardest for an adopted kid to accept is real. it takes a lot more reinforcing. Good for you grabbing the post-adoption resources. Use what you can. And what you can't get, do for yourself until you can get something more. You are capable of this, you know your child better than anyone else. And you have us as a resource. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
My 9 y/o boy has adhd/odd, I dont know how to help him......
Top