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my adult son is homeless and I am heartbroken
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 599929" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>Isn't this only your second day without contact with him? I think you need to give it more time and self-reflection before you try to figure out what is going on in his head.</p><p></p><p>Oh, man oh man, don't worry about us judging you for how you raised your children. We <em>all</em> beat ourselves up <em>plenty</em> without piling it on each other.</p><p></p><p>I think it would be good for you to try reading your posts with an objective eye. If this were written by a friend of yours, what would you advise <em>them</em> to do? Also, it caught my eye that you said that you didn't talk to your son all day and you finally got to sleep through the night. That is cause (didn't talk to him) and effect (finally slept through the night). You shouldn't feel guilty about it. Sleeping through the night is how your life should be. I guarantee you he isn't losing any sleep worrying about you.</p><p></p><p>But, one day without contact does not detachment make. Obviously, after all that he's done, and then add the bike thing on top of it? Not to mention the triangulation he did with your parents to get a new one? It's easy to see that he doesn't want your help. He wants everything you own. Is he mentally ill? Maybe. But, many people are mentally ill and manage to keep it under control and not get into trouble with the law. You've been holding on tight for 19 years, and it is time to really let go, for his sake and for yours. </p><p></p><p>Don't call him, let him call you. When he does, have a pleasant conversation with him until he asks you for something. At that point it is time to end the call. "Sorry, I'm sure you'll find a way to work that out. I have to run. I love you!" It can be right after hello the first few times. Eventually he'll learn to play the game of life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 599929, member: 99"] Isn't this only your second day without contact with him? I think you need to give it more time and self-reflection before you try to figure out what is going on in his head. Oh, man oh man, don't worry about us judging you for how you raised your children. We [I]all[/I] beat ourselves up [I]plenty[/I] without piling it on each other. I think it would be good for you to try reading your posts with an objective eye. If this were written by a friend of yours, what would you advise [I]them[/I] to do? Also, it caught my eye that you said that you didn't talk to your son all day and you finally got to sleep through the night. That is cause (didn't talk to him) and effect (finally slept through the night). You shouldn't feel guilty about it. Sleeping through the night is how your life should be. I guarantee you he isn't losing any sleep worrying about you. But, one day without contact does not detachment make. Obviously, after all that he's done, and then add the bike thing on top of it? Not to mention the triangulation he did with your parents to get a new one? It's easy to see that he doesn't want your help. He wants everything you own. Is he mentally ill? Maybe. But, many people are mentally ill and manage to keep it under control and not get into trouble with the law. You've been holding on tight for 19 years, and it is time to really let go, for his sake and for yours. Don't call him, let him call you. When he does, have a pleasant conversation with him until he asks you for something. At that point it is time to end the call. "Sorry, I'm sure you'll find a way to work that out. I have to run. I love you!" It can be right after hello the first few times. Eventually he'll learn to play the game of life. [/QUOTE]
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my adult son is homeless and I am heartbroken
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