My beautiful brilliant first born started becoming depressed in college. He graduated as a cs/math major from a top university but the last 3 years were a living hell. I spent nights answering 2 'am phone calls with suicide threats. Now this continues - he is bright and talented but completely fatalistic and despondent . He has developed chronic pain and refused any psychiatric help. He doesn't take drugs not even Tylenol or Motrin . He says he has failed and he wants to die . He won't look for a job As he states the pain won't let him think - he has face pain that is mild but chronic . He also thinks he is impotent due to me having him circumcised at birth. He said that any man who is circumcised has sexual dysfunction. But that most won't acknowledge the loss of sensation . He blames this on me. He is overcome with anger at me and at the rest of the world . He has called me all sorts of horrible names. I can't accept that this has happened to such a perfect child- it was always "whatever you want mom" He was a straight A student ,handsome, an amazng pianist and athlete. Now he lies in a dark room and sleeps. He says he blew his chance to be someone important and now it's too late! Last week he left home and took an apartment. His dad gave him 20 thousand to move out. I worry about him and miss him. One psychiatrist I took him too said he was a danger - that he should have inpatient care. The problem is that I feel I can explain his angst due to the terrible dysfunction that his father had- my husband had severe sex addicition, narcissism anger and obsession with money and power. His father demanded so much from him and put enormous pressure on him (the only boy) since he was a little boy. I feel that when he didn't get straight A's in college he developed the pain as a way to drop out and protect himself from the stress and pressure. The same with the impotency - he saw his dad with girlfriends the same age as himself and this way he won't have to compete with his dad. Am I just looking for excuses ? Is my son mentally ill or just the result of a dysfunctional family life? Please help me I am so sad and I so desperately want to help him but he just pushes me away.