My brain's bigger than your brain!

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by timer lady, Jan 31, 2009.

  1. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    My incredibly wonderful, intelligent wm had surgery on his foot last week due to his meddling with an ingrown toenail. He just couldn't leave it alone & a horrendous infection then some small amount of skin death. Okay, we caught that.

    Before surgery the ortho doctors were asked to check wm's thumb. wm the day before lost a battle with a basketball. ;)

    Turns out the thumb is broken. While in surgery the surgeon splinted wm's thumb & wrapped his hand up to his wrist. wm was told not to use his thumb at all & his hand at a minimum until next appointment. (2 weeks from this past Monday).

    My son, who knows all, decided that his thumb/hand had healed enough & took off the splint & wrap. He missed video games. He did the deed at school. School/day treatment called foster mum to let her know. They did their best to resplint & rewrap wm's thumb & hand. wm had the splint off by the time he got home from school.

    My son called me to let me know how much pain he was in but that he wasn't going to wear the splint again because he couldn't play his games. I told him he would follow doctor's orders ~ period! This isn't a game.

    wm will now be going to a hand surgeon because of the further damage he has done to his thumb & something in his hand. Foster mum & I are livid that wm doesn't understand and/or care enough to follow instructions to self care. That this isn't a scab or a cold.

    Through all of this wm kept telling me, foster mum, foster dad, Integrated Listening Systems (ILS) worker, day treatment staff, etc that he knew what he was doing. If he could run away when he was two he could take care of his hand. (He & kt did runaway at the age of 2 & that's what started this whole thing.)

    I just got off the phone with wm ~ "I'm bored, can you come out?" "Not until sometime next week ~ there's no one here for kt". And the whining began. I cut him off & told him to get out a book & read. Watch one of the hundreds of movies foster mum has on hand with a bowl of popcorn. As it's above freezing & sunny get outside & take a walk. "Son, when one is bored, they are boring. You are definitely not boring ~ use your brain & find some safe activity you can do to amuse yourself. One that won't hack off the rest of the family & one that will keep you absorbed. I know you have models you can work on, books you can read, puzzles, etc, etc, etc."

    "Mom, I hate my *****!"

    I hung up. I have better things to do than listen to this nonsense. The light is perfect for painting & I just got in a new supply of paints to add to my pallette. :painter:
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    But....but....MOOOOOOOOOM. He's booooooooooooored. You're the mom...DO something!!! Did you not read that part of your job description???? You are to keep all children occupied and amused at ALL TIMES. It's there in the handbook, go look.

    As for the hand....yeah...splints, broken bones and boys that age just do not mix. difficult child had a half cast when he was 12. THAT went well. Is there anyway thay can put a full cast on him? I know it will impede things but it may be the only way to keep him from seriously messing with it. At least if he tries, any damage done to the cast will be easily seen. He could then also amuse himself with writing/drawing on the cast..........erm.....never mind. That part may not be such a good idea. ;)
  3. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Don't you love it? I remember telling Miss KT that I wasn't Barnum and Bailey, it wasn't my job to entertain her!

    Enjoy your paints!
  4. Penta

    Penta New Member

    The young teenage son of a friend of mine has a T shirt that reads on the front...I'm bored and on the back...There's nothing to do!

    Boredom is a very common complaint among young people.
  5. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    It always amazed me when people would comment on how well my kids played by themselves. Guess I am known to dote on my kids but in doing so, I also realized the importance of them entertaining themselves so I made sure they had plenty of alone time also. However, I still get the "I am bored" statement once in awhile.

    I like your comment about if one is bored then they are boring. You have a great way of getting through to your kids.

    I hope wm figures out the seriousness of his hand injury before it gets too much worse.
  6. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I had a difficult child co-worker with a broken wrist. The doctor set it in plaster, but the thickness of the plaster cast interfered with his golf club grip, so the idiot filed away at his cast so he could fit his golf club in to his hand somehow. Of course, this weakened the cast so when he decided to actually swing his golf club at a golf ball for a really solid drive, it broke the cast and re-broke the partially-set wrist.

    And HE was old enough to know better.

    I also heard so often from the males I worked with, "The mail brain is bigger than the female brain."
    My response always was, "The female brain doesn't need to be as big - we use ours more efficiently."

  7. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I hate the, "I'm bored" thing. I tell them it's o.k. to be bored, not everything has to be the most exciting thing. Of course, that doesn't make them happy. We suggest things, doesn't matter to them, if it's not what they want it's boring-too bad! I think you handled it well with wm!

    Ouch on the hand thing. Wish I had some good advice on how to get him to take it more seriously but he sounds like my difficult child-an expert on everything. Hugs.
  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    You really do have this great way of getting through to your kids Linda. You just are so black and white, and detached, yet loving.
    (I wanna be you when I grow up - no really.;))

    What are they going to do with his thumb??? He is being like a dog - Does he need like one of those big plastic collars around his neck??? OMG.
    This is something my difficult child would do.
    Can they put a cast on it, so he cannot mess with it?

    Many hugs.
  9. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    Steeley, I love your idea of the dog collar; may recommend it in jest to B (in home therapist) or foster mum. At lest it will give us all a chuckle.

    My wm just wants what he wants with no clue how to achieve that goal. Even with all the supports & training he has in place he can't see the consequences (good or bad) for his choices. Or the fact, that he didn't earn what he wanted. Sighhhhh

    I expect difficult child will be wearing cast before long. I did remind him that spring/summer was coming soon & he'd miss out on his favorite activities if he didn't let his thumb/hand heal.

    As for being bored, foster mum lets him "be boooooooored" in his room with the door closed. He's not going to make everyone miserable, nor is he going to call me (her rules) expecting me to make a trip up to entertain him for 10 minutes before he loses interest.
  10. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    P.s. Ignore my thumbs down symbol on the previous post to this thread. That was a mistake and I don't know how to change it once my fingers slip it into place. I am sorry!
  11. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Time out is the so useful for building the skills to cope when you can not do anything about "it". The vedio game thing is a great product. It has earned companies and stores a large profit. And it hurts our kids. It makes them dependant. It is intended to do this. It is a product that requires new componants ...or it gets boring.

    Now is a good time for your son to learn how to play chess and other types of thinking games. Yes that would be boring of another shade. There are shades of boring. or in other words boring is a personal state of being. At least he isn't bed ridden. yey. that is another shade of boring.