TiredSister
New Member
My brother is 24 years old and he has been doing marijuana on and off from last 5-6 years. He isn't an addict but he uses marijuana whenever he feels like it. He has been constantly lying with me and my parents. He was a very smart kid in high school and me and my parents were expecting him to become a doctor. Instead of that, I don't know how he started using marijuana and started selling when he started college. He always keeps a good job where he makes decent money ($2000) per month but he always have $0 in his account. He always keep borrowing money from friends. As soon as he gets his paycheck, he converts his paycheck into hard cash. So my dad can't see where he is spending his money. After 5 years, he barely finished AA degree, and so many times my parents have helped him to pay his fees and his debts; even though he makes $2000/month. He never saves any money. He gets so many traffic tickets, and he never pays them off. He is very irresponsible and immature. He used to live in my parents house and wasn't obeying any house rules. He is constantly arguing with my parents and he is always defending himself. He yells and screams a lot that sometimes it is hard to have a simple conversation with him. My mom is trying to be strict with him, but my dad can't be strict with him. My dad is always very lenient with him under a fear that he will become worst. Whenever he needs my parents he uses them for food, shelter, and financial needs. He manipulates my parents. He knows that my dad will help him out in any situation. About a year ago, he had a very bad gambling addiction. He was gambling big time online and in casino. He is always in need of money. I don't know what he does with his money. He was borrowing money from his so called friends, coworkers to gamble and he lost all their money. My dad paid all his debts, my mom kept telling to not pay his debts. But my dad is living in denial. He can't accept that his son is doing all these. Recently, he moved out of my parents house, because my parents kicked him out. They don't know where he is living, or with whom he is living. He is never in touch with my parents or me. Somehow he has still managed to keep his job.
Recently he has been arrested with 5-6 charges (Marijuana, cocaine, Hashish possession and driving under suspended license) on him. My parents were in shock. My parents are hard working, simple people who immigrated to US 7-8 years ago for their kids bright future. My dad works 2 jobs at age of 60 and my mom works full time. They received a phone call from County Jail and they don't know what to do. They finally bailed him out the same night. They don't know meanings of the word "felony" or "convicted". Cops seized his car and it is in impound. They have already suspended his driver's license for 2 years. Cops said he got arrested by Narcotics for drug trafficking. After 6 weeks he has to show up in a court for his case. Now he is pressuring my parents to go get his car. Cops said to get his car my parents have to pay $1000 and that price will increase every day. My parents don't have that kind of money. He is also pressuring my parents to hire a good lawyer for him who can defend him, but my parents can't afford that. Even after doing all these, who knows he is stop doing all these or not. We are in shock and don't know what to do. Any advice will help. I personally feel like I don't want my parents to get involved in this. He is an adult now, he got himself into this and he can get himself out of this. He should get out of my parents house. He still argues, yells and screams. There is no sign of regret for him. He says he wants to live normal life and become a good person, but I can't trust him anymore. He has been saying this from last 5-6 years and there is no positive progress. Things are going negative in his life. I feel like he is just saying things what we want to hear right now. I am worried about my parents health, what if something happens to them at this age? Please advise. Any help is appreciated. I want him to become a good human being, but I don't know how can I help him.
Thanks!
Recently he has been arrested with 5-6 charges (Marijuana, cocaine, Hashish possession and driving under suspended license) on him. My parents were in shock. My parents are hard working, simple people who immigrated to US 7-8 years ago for their kids bright future. My dad works 2 jobs at age of 60 and my mom works full time. They received a phone call from County Jail and they don't know what to do. They finally bailed him out the same night. They don't know meanings of the word "felony" or "convicted". Cops seized his car and it is in impound. They have already suspended his driver's license for 2 years. Cops said he got arrested by Narcotics for drug trafficking. After 6 weeks he has to show up in a court for his case. Now he is pressuring my parents to go get his car. Cops said to get his car my parents have to pay $1000 and that price will increase every day. My parents don't have that kind of money. He is also pressuring my parents to hire a good lawyer for him who can defend him, but my parents can't afford that. Even after doing all these, who knows he is stop doing all these or not. We are in shock and don't know what to do. Any advice will help. I personally feel like I don't want my parents to get involved in this. He is an adult now, he got himself into this and he can get himself out of this. He should get out of my parents house. He still argues, yells and screams. There is no sign of regret for him. He says he wants to live normal life and become a good person, but I can't trust him anymore. He has been saying this from last 5-6 years and there is no positive progress. Things are going negative in his life. I feel like he is just saying things what we want to hear right now. I am worried about my parents health, what if something happens to them at this age? Please advise. Any help is appreciated. I want him to become a good human being, but I don't know how can I help him.
Thanks!