My youngest, a easy child, is turning into a terrible tween. She has learned from her older sibs how to manipulate exhausted mom and she has had dad wrapped around her pinky finger for years. This morning she flat refused to go to school, telling me that she had a project to turn in that wasn't up to snuff and she was afraid of the teacher. She argued, tantrumed, ran out of the house, just generally made my morning as miserable as she could to prove that I have no control over her. She routinely threatens to call DCF and tell them I've hit her or that the burn she got from the oven rack was me burning her with her curling iron. She's a little b$^&* at times. I told her that for the twin sins of refusing school and being rude and obnoxious to me, she was grounded on Halloween. She went ballistic. Told me that she was going to leave the house no matter what, that I wouldn't know where she was, etc., etc.,... I called the behaviorist who has been working with our son and askd her what she recommended. She suggest that since it would be difficult and exhausting and unproductive to attempt to follow her around if she left the house with-o permission, that I try another tactic. Since my daughter lacks respect for me and for our home rules, none of her friends may cross my threshold for the next 30 days. There's no need for me to play hostess or ferry her or her pals around since she shows no appreciation for what I do. She also suggested that I take her clothes, toiletries, jewelry, cell phone and access to the house's one computer away, for her to earn back. After all, I paid for the stuff. I could bring her to her knees for taking away her hair straightener! I don't know how the clothes part works, but she said let her go out trick or treating in the clothes she's in, let her wear them to bed and tomorrow....may not be sanitary, but I get the general idea. the idea is to make her life less comfortable. She has no incentive to change her behavior because she has not been made to feel enough pain. One of the key reasons I am here is because I don't follow through on consequences consistently enough for my kids to respect my authority. By switching to things that I can control, I'm hoping that I will be able to hang in there and get them to re-evaluate their behavior. what do you think?