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My counseling session today
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<blockquote data-quote="Kjs" data-source="post: 246148"><p>When I married husband he was NOT like this. It was great. easy child was 3 when I met him. He would come and take easy child out, to work with him, everywhere. We had a wonderful time together. It was when difficult child was born. His first child. He then totally ignored me and easy child. We just didn't exist. Everything was about difficult child from that day forward. There are no rules, he doesn't enforce any consequences, his life (our llife) revolves around what difficult child decides HE is going to do. husband can't possibly do anything because what if difficult child wants to do something. So - no, I didn't know he would be like this when we got married. He certainly wasn't viewing porn when we got married. That is new.</p><p>When psychiatrist asked husband when all this started, he was quiet and said...when difficult child was born. So, see...he knows. </p><p>My childhood was great. My parents were wonderful. Couldn't live without each other. Literally. husband had no parents. Mother left when he was 3, father was a drunk who beat the kids. Died when husband was a young teen in a auto accident.(drunk)</p><p>I honestly believe he has tried so hard NOT to be like his father (beating the kids) that he totally went off the other end.</p><p>Before husband actually had his own child - he was great with easy child and other kids, and great to me.</p><p>He also ignored easy child once difficult child was born. No more playing ball, no more taking him places.</p><p>I am the one who called the therapist/counselors. I am the one trying to repair this broken relationships. But they have to make an effort too. How am I suppose to talk to him about how to resolve things when he doesn't talk to me. When he leaves before I get up for work and returns after I leave? How are rules suppose to be enforced when everytime I walk out the door, he lets difficult child do what he wants anyway?</p><p>easy child had rules, and he followed them. husband would never let easy child speak to me in any tone. And easy child never raised his voice to me. not until last summer.</p><p> </p><p>I guess I need a vacation too. Away from everything until I can work things out.</p><p>Sorry</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kjs, post: 246148"] When I married husband he was NOT like this. It was great. easy child was 3 when I met him. He would come and take easy child out, to work with him, everywhere. We had a wonderful time together. It was when difficult child was born. His first child. He then totally ignored me and easy child. We just didn't exist. Everything was about difficult child from that day forward. There are no rules, he doesn't enforce any consequences, his life (our llife) revolves around what difficult child decides HE is going to do. husband can't possibly do anything because what if difficult child wants to do something. So - no, I didn't know he would be like this when we got married. He certainly wasn't viewing porn when we got married. That is new. When psychiatrist asked husband when all this started, he was quiet and said...when difficult child was born. So, see...he knows. My childhood was great. My parents were wonderful. Couldn't live without each other. Literally. husband had no parents. Mother left when he was 3, father was a drunk who beat the kids. Died when husband was a young teen in a auto accident.(drunk) I honestly believe he has tried so hard NOT to be like his father (beating the kids) that he totally went off the other end. Before husband actually had his own child - he was great with easy child and other kids, and great to me. He also ignored easy child once difficult child was born. No more playing ball, no more taking him places. I am the one who called the therapist/counselors. I am the one trying to repair this broken relationships. But they have to make an effort too. How am I suppose to talk to him about how to resolve things when he doesn't talk to me. When he leaves before I get up for work and returns after I leave? How are rules suppose to be enforced when everytime I walk out the door, he lets difficult child do what he wants anyway? easy child had rules, and he followed them. husband would never let easy child speak to me in any tone. And easy child never raised his voice to me. not until last summer. I guess I need a vacation too. Away from everything until I can work things out. Sorry [/QUOTE]
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