Grrr - I feel - MAD Although I had a wonderful thanksgiving with my family, my cousin that I am the closest to, and who is the baby of the family, came to dinner with a black eye, again. And the culprit sat beside her, again. They have been together 15 years, and I guess it will never stop. She has tried to leave him, comes back. Vice a versa. After my Dad's memorial we really connected, and I really hoped that connection would continue when I moved to the NW where she also lives. But not so much I guess. I have invited her up a few times to my place, but she has declined - which is fine - I know she is carrying the huge burden and secret of abuse. I have been there done that. When they walked in the door the first thing her husband said to me was, "oh, you see K 's face, haha. She didn't cook the chicken pot pie the right way. You know it needs to be golden not yellow. Haha." I just felt paralyzed. Then K, just as normal as any normal person could talk said some stupid thing about the car door hitting her on the face. Uh, huh. Right. My Mom later said, yea - "K said the door hit her." I was like REALLY? Do not buy into this anymore. You KNOW. I KNOW. She has told us the things R has done. It is not even a secret. Why stay in denial, just call a spade a spade. I guess the thing is that R has been doing "so much better" due to his new life coach, blah, blah, blah. Her parents, and my Mom seemed all encouraged as if this is really gonna change a lifelong abuser. (Sorry, I know it may change the 2% - but we all know the odds here.) I seriously want to punch this guy in the face, every time I see him. Like just drop kick him. I hate the lies, the false promises that the family believes, the pain she must be in and does not feel like she can share. I love K - so, so much. More than any other member of my extended family - we just connect. I told her at my Dad's memorial that she was going to end up dead, if she didn't leave R. (The things he has done, far surpass just a black eye.) I even paid for her to stay longer at that time, so she could hopefully get some distance from him. Geez - just had to tell someone.