Okay first off let me say that my dad and I have never been close. As a child, he was incredibly mean and verbally abusive. He was also physically abusive to my mom and brother. I was scared to death of him as a child, and I still have PTSD from growing up with him. Any time anybody for any reason gets the tiniest bit upset at me, I get a full blown panic attack. This is why it is so hard for me to do my job. I get parents pissed off at me all the time, therefore my anxiety is very high at my job. I blame my dad for this. Anyway, now that I am an adult, our relationship is strained. He has been living out of state for the past 20 years, and we see each other once a year when he comes out and visits. We spend maybe two hours going out to dinner, make polite conversation, and that is it. OH, and he sends us $150 for Christmas each year. OH, and by the way, he is now a reformed born again Christian. We grew up Christian and went to church every Sunday, but my dad was a huge hypocrite. Anyway, supposedly now he is reformed and a huge devout Christian again. My dad has always shunned social media in the past, but he recently got talked into getting a facebook account. I decided to add him as a friend, and was hoping perhaps we could grow closer now that he's an adult and supposedly he's changed. What a big huge mistake. So far he has nothing to say but negative on every single one of my posts. One time I posted about having a cheat day on my diet and having funnel cake at the fair, and he told me to quit giving excuses to not sticking to my diet, and he told me to "get with the program." I didn't appreciate it, but left the comment alone. This last week I posted about God. I am a Christian, and post lots of scriptures and inspirational quotes on my page. Last weeks post said something like, "Wouldn't it be nice if people followed Jesus as closely as they do Facebook?" His comment to me was, "Wouldn't- it be nice if people claiming to be Christians didn't put posts up about horoscopes?" Even though I personally don't believe in astrology, I sometimes put up random jokes about horoscopes. I told my dad they are just for fun, and he responded saying "You can't follow two Gods." He then told me there is a place in hell for people like me, who go to church on Sundays and fake being a Christian Okay I have NO idea where this is coming from. My dad does not know me at all. My life literally consists of going to work, coming home, making dinner, watching over my kids, and going to bed early at 7:00 p.m. every night. On weekends the kids and I rent movies and on Sundays we go to church. That is literally all my life consists of. So what am I doing wrong? Well a BUNCH of my friends, including my boyfriend, jumped to my defense and tried to shame him for judging his very own daughter. My boyfriend even quoted bible verses at him. My dad's response was to tell my friends that they don't know me in real life and he knows me better than any of them. Ha! I was so scared of my dad for years I avoided him and never talked to him. My friends know me WAY better than he ever does! When I defended myself, my dad then told me that he "knows all about the bad stuff I've been doing because my mother tells him everything. I have zero clue what he's talking about. I asked my mom what she has been saying to my dad. (They've been divorced for over 25 years.) She said my dad and her never talk, and she has no idea what he's talking about! My dad also told me that my whole family is against me, and they have all defriended me on facebook because of all the horrible stuff I do in real life. Okay so I checked my friends' list, and every single family member is still on there. Nobody has deleted me, except my niece three years ago who deleted me over a silly little argument. But my brother, aunt, uncle and all my cousins are still on my friends' list. And I am seriously baffled at what bad stuff my dad thinks I'm doing! I am seriously the most sweetest, kindest, most boring person I know. So I questioned my dad, and he refused to say anything except that he is going to unfriend me, like the rest of my family has done, and he will pray for my soul. I have not heard from him since. I am left dumbfounded and confused. I was really hoping that as an adult, him and I could repair our relationship. Well now my kids and I will never know him, and he will continue to think I'm this horrible person. So now I'm left with no dad, and have to explain to my kids why grandpa isn't sending Christmas money this year. I know I shouldn't care, since my dad was so mean and abusive in the past, but I can't help it. My anxiety has been a lot worse since this happened. So how do I get past this?