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<blockquote data-quote="PiscesMom" data-source="post: 709167" data-attributes="member: 19889">You're only 40?? I thought you were older because you keep saying how old you are!I am a 4 on the enneagram, 5 wing. INFP. I know neither of these is research based or anything. What are you, if you don't mind my asking?Thank you for all you said! My daughters actually tell me the same. They are wonderful. My son does not feel that way. I guess because my life views don't/can't apply to him. I hate that. Why can't he be obsessed with prize tomatoes or something legal and safe?I love psychology, I mean, I would love to have taken more classes besides 1001. I took a lot of ed psychology classes. But I never tell anyone cuz of how things are.As far as my younger daughter is concerned, I don't want to make choices based on shame. I don't want her to not go to a residential because I would feel bad. If that seems to be what is best, I can investigate. I can ask how they handle behaviors. Not that she has any besides hiding in her room. But if she sees anyone thrown into the dungeon or whatever, she would be traumatized. Every day I look at my phone, at phone finder, to check if she is at school or not. Usually she is not. I text her, I beg her to go. When she does go, she is very nervous, she can't do work, she gets cold and takes a nap. I wonder if I am making it worse, by panicking, worrying, for having too much invested in her, as any parent would. Today she went, did nothing, and told me she is anxious about tomorrow. Will I be mad if she doesn't go? I told her do her best, that is all anyone can ask.Fight, flight, or freeze. I freeze. I can't think, just seem to march grimly ahead.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="PiscesMom, post: 709167, member: 19889"] You're only 40?? I thought you were older because you keep saying how old you are! I am a 4 on the enneagram, 5 wing. INFP. I know neither of these is research based or anything. What are you, if you don't mind my asking? Thank you for all you said! My daughters actually tell me the same. They are wonderful. My son does not feel that way. I guess because my life views don't/can't apply to him. I hate that. Why can't he be obsessed with prize tomatoes or something legal and safe? I love psychology, I mean, I would love to have taken more classes besides 1001. I took a lot of ed psychology classes. But I never tell anyone cuz of how things are. As far as my younger daughter is concerned, I don't want to make choices based on shame. I don't want her to not go to a residential because I would feel bad. If that seems to be what is best, I can investigate. I can ask how they handle behaviors. Not that she has any besides hiding in her room. But if she sees anyone thrown into the dungeon or whatever, she would be traumatized. Every day I look at my phone, at phone finder, to check if she is at school or not. Usually she is not. I text her, I beg her to go. When she does go, she is very nervous, she can't do work, she gets cold and takes a nap. I wonder if I am making it worse, by panicking, worrying, for having too much invested in her, as any parent would. Today she went, did nothing, and told me she is anxious about tomorrow. Will I be mad if she doesn't go? I told her do her best, that is all anyone can ask. Fight, flight, or freeze. I freeze. I can't think, just seem to march grimly ahead. [/QUOTE]

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