Thanks Ladies- I can update now. I'm still a little shaken up so I don't know if I'm repeating some stuff or not. difficult child snuck out Friday evening and came back early Sat. morning, which I reported to police but had to wait until this morning to let PO know. Yesterday afternoon I went to difficult child's bedroom while he was still in bed but starting to wake up. I was looking for something that belonged in a set that I was trying to sell in the yard sale. I opened the door to a cabinet in his desk and saw two packs (boxes) of cigs so I opened them to see if any were in there- one was a full pack of cigs and the other was half full of pills. I put the whole thing in my pocket and walked out of the room. He came downstairs and tried to intimidate me into giving him cigs but I would not. He started getting in my face like he was going to get physical but backed down when I asked if he was threatening me. He said I had stolen cigs from his room. I told him 1) it would be illegal for me to allow him to have them, 2) it is a violation of his parole, 3) it's my house, he's my minor child, and I have a right to confiscate anything I want to from his bedroom, and 4) he stole the cigs from me to begin with- this is not me stealing from him, it's him stealing from me. He walked away saying if I ever went to his bedroom and took something again, he just might kill me.
Then things smoothed over and were quiet for a while but we got into another argument late afternoon yesterday because he wouldn't get off the computer after sleeping half thru the yard sale and not helping and I was tired and wanted to relax and get on here a while. But he was being very passive aggressive- and he also had the phone and wouldn't give it to me and ignored anything I said to him. So I said fine, I'm leaving. I have no idea why I said that but I'd only had 2 1/2 hours sleep Fri/Sat night and about 4 Sat/Sun night so by yesterday afternoon I was only functioning half way. So we got into a big argument because he thought I was leaving to go get police. I kept walking toward the car so here we were in the driveway arguing (we normally try to keep neighbors from hearing) and neighbors were out in the culdesac. difficult child stood in front of the car door so I couldn't get in. I told him there were witnesses and if I wanted to contact police I could, he could not stop me, all I had to do was walk over there to one of the neighbors and ask them to call. He was pretty agitated and telling me he hated living here, how he didn't respect me, yadda yadda. I told him that I knew all that but I had not put my foot down about all his koi more in the past because I was trying to prevent him being sent somewhere where he was likely to get molested but that I had no more resources now to prevent anything from happening. Anyway, somehow it ended up where I pointed my finger at him and told him that his ONLY hope of getting thru this wzas to gget his **** back into the house and up into his bedroom and stay there a while. Much to my surprise, he turned and quietly did exactly that. He came out after about 3 hours and was calm and reasonable so I fixed him dinner because he had only had a little to eat yesterday late morning.
Fine, I figured maybe we are getting somewhere if our arguements are at least getting some real communication going and he's starting to back down and walk away when I put my foot down.
So about 10:30 last night we both went to bed. As usual, I was sleeping in a pair of old shorts with keys, cigs/lighter, cash from yard sale (all I have), and cards (atm, driver's license, etc). I woke up this morning early- about 5:15 and stuck my head in difficult child's room to see he was not there but something was on his bed. All my cards from my pocket. I immediately put my hands in my pockets and find that my pockets had been cut. difficult child had cut my pockets while I slept and took all the money I had except for $12. I had my keys and cigs/lighter. I got really freaked out because I wonder how I slept thru that and wondered if he had snuck something in my drink last night since he's obviously getting a hold of some kind of pills. Maybe he didn't- he could have taken my allergy medications that are now being somewhat controlled due to home-made drugs but he didn't. I was dead tired last night and since I'm used to sleeping with a dog who tosses and turns all night, maybe I did just sleep thru it without any "assistance".
So, I look thru the house and find the phone but the battery pack (remote phone) had been removed. I find another one and called police to report ggfg missing, that he'd stolen money from me, and that he'd cut the pockets of my shorts while I was sleeping. I changed clothes and when the police came to write up the report, I showed him the shorts and remembered about the pills so I showed him that too. Then I called and left message for PO. About five mins later, difficult child was trying to get in the house and actually managed to, again to my surprise because I thought I had everything secure. So I told him I had to call police back to tell them he had returned. But the policeman who'd just left a few mins earlier must have seen difficult child coming home so he came back and was already knocking on the door by the time I got off the phone with the police station. difficult child started flipping out but I opened the door, the policeman kept difficult child on the front porch until he was able to actually get PO on the phone. PO had to put in paperwork first in order to get difficult child held in detention so said he'd call the policeman back soon. The policeman used that waiting time to lecture difficult child and ask me for the pills and called somewhere to find out if they were in the police database as controlled or commonly abused medication and they were not llisted in police database so the policeman said it was probably nothing to get someone high. Then he talked to difficult child about what I had reported and ggfg admitted cutting my pockets while I slept last night and stealing my money. Oh- I forgot to mention- difficult child gave me five dollars back and said he'd spent the rest.
PO called back and difficult child was taken away in handcuffs to be held in detention until the court hearing, which will be an arraignment and they will set the trial date then. Now I get to spend the day undoing everything I tried to get underway Thurs and Friday. difficult child turned and whispered "I love you, Mom" as he was being led away. I didn't say anything to him.