is beating me up. yup me again honestly i'm really tired. i get up positive though each day difficult child has been home just knowing she is in my care now really makes me grounded. yet easy child got suspended today, told off the dean and her teacher and has decided to rejoin her loser ex boyfriend the one who used to sell pot and who drinks and now drives by the way. husband has continued to pressure me for "us" time even though i am literally exhausted by 12 p.m. when he wants to do our usual watch movies, watch hells kitchen, hang out talk etc. just can't seem to get that i'm doing best i can and am just wiped out. doesnt' matter how many hours i sit in any hospital or how many hours i sit with-difficult child and work with-her on shakes. everyone's like me, me, me. i'm getting angered by all their antics and kinda of discouraged. husband tries stood there last night and rubbed my back that's acting up and neck for a half hour but than finishs by saying ok ready to hang now? NO i'm ready to go to sleep please. he gets hurt, than defensive etc. even the dog's acting up. i thought if only i can cut myself into pieces than everyone can get what they need but ME. i need my time too. even if it's just a hot bath, an uniterrupted cup of tea in the bathroom my favorite place away from the drama. it's very frustrating. it's kinda of like you look at it and say wow guys dont' you love me, appreciate me and wanna back off me for a bit so i can get my footing???