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My father passed away last night....
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 137433" data-attributes="member: 455"><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">First my condolences to you and your family.</span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">I just lost my father a year ago this past August unexpectedly to an aortic aneurysm. My parents were married 40 years (this happened 2 weeks after they had just renewed their vows). Let me also premise by saying that we had also just lost my mother's mother the previous May. Her death was not unexpected.</span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">As for how it was handled, there are only 2 siblings in my family, myself and my sister so I was left to handle helping my mother since my sister can not and would not handle this at all. I needed to help her make all arrangements necessary but more importantly it seemed her world fell apart. She suddenly could not live on her own (and she was a strong independent woman up until that time). Mentally she went into severe crisis. I tell you this as I don't know what your situation is but I never would have suspected this at all. We had a memorial service for my father as well, no burial. My mother choose to wait almost a month later to have it. Because it was so much later after the fact the turn out was far less then what it would have been if it was at the time (we learned this later in speaking to many who we ran into).</span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">As for difficult child's, my oldest handled it sort of ok but my two younger ones didn't handle it real well as they were really close to him. I don't know if it's because none of the difficult child's got to say their goodbyes or not (I didn't even get the chance either).</span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">The one thing I did have to do constantly with her is watch that she would eat as she refused to eat (saying she couldn't most often). It got so bad we had to get the doctor to write a prescription for her to be able to keep something in her. Also needed to get her into therapy as we saw she was headed for trouble. She is much better now.</span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px"></span></span></em></span></p><p><span style="color: DarkRed"><em><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"><span style="font-size: 12px">Don't mean to scare you but this is how it was with us, and yes, after people stop calling and checking in with them is when it hits the hardest on them and they feel it the most. It does take a toll on you too so please keep after yourself. We do tend to get caught up in it all and loose ourselves too and then wear ourselves thin. I didn't even notice it until 9 months later. I had lost a lot of weight and my hair started falling out. The doctor had asked me if I had been under any "undue stress" so many months ago because I didn't know why my hair started falling out. Take care of you please, especially if you are the only or main one helping her through this.</span></span></em></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 137433, member: 455"] [COLOR=DarkRed][I][FONT=Times New Roman][SIZE=3]First my condolences to you and your family. I just lost my father a year ago this past August unexpectedly to an aortic aneurysm. My parents were married 40 years (this happened 2 weeks after they had just renewed their vows). Let me also premise by saying that we had also just lost my mother's mother the previous May. Her death was not unexpected. As for how it was handled, there are only 2 siblings in my family, myself and my sister so I was left to handle helping my mother since my sister can not and would not handle this at all. I needed to help her make all arrangements necessary but more importantly it seemed her world fell apart. She suddenly could not live on her own (and she was a strong independent woman up until that time). Mentally she went into severe crisis. I tell you this as I don't know what your situation is but I never would have suspected this at all. We had a memorial service for my father as well, no burial. My mother choose to wait almost a month later to have it. Because it was so much later after the fact the turn out was far less then what it would have been if it was at the time (we learned this later in speaking to many who we ran into). As for difficult child's, my oldest handled it sort of ok but my two younger ones didn't handle it real well as they were really close to him. I don't know if it's because none of the difficult child's got to say their goodbyes or not (I didn't even get the chance either). The one thing I did have to do constantly with her is watch that she would eat as she refused to eat (saying she couldn't most often). It got so bad we had to get the doctor to write a prescription for her to be able to keep something in her. Also needed to get her into therapy as we saw she was headed for trouble. She is much better now. Don't mean to scare you but this is how it was with us, and yes, after people stop calling and checking in with them is when it hits the hardest on them and they feel it the most. It does take a toll on you too so please keep after yourself. We do tend to get caught up in it all and loose ourselves too and then wear ourselves thin. I didn't even notice it until 9 months later. I had lost a lot of weight and my hair started falling out. The doctor had asked me if I had been under any "undue stress" so many months ago because I didn't know why my hair started falling out. Take care of you please, especially if you are the only or main one helping her through this.[/SIZE][/FONT][/I][/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
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My father passed away last night....
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