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My final appeal (kinda long, sorry) Input?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 221111" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>klmno, you said what I tried to say, in a very few words. Thank you!</p><p></p><p>Damage has been done and now it requires a different response.</p><p></p><p>In the IEP, you need to include specifics such as "do not use negatives in your dealings with him. Express instructions in a positive way. ie if he is agitated and not staying in his seat, instead of saying, "Stop pacing, stop being disruptive," try to deflect him by saying, "Come and sit over here." Even better - try to identify WHY he is agitated and pacing, and work with it. </p><p>Another important point for the school to take on board - deal with his anxiety and agitation as a priority, then only insist on the schoolwork when he is calm and compliant. He is Occupational Therapist (OT) a manipulative, disobedient child primarily. If something is wrong, stop trying to make him act as if everything is normal. Things are so far from normal for this boy, please teachers be compassionate and understanding, and you will get much more positive outcomes from him."</p><p>The analogy you can give the teachers - if there is a fire in the classroom wastepaper basket, would you punish them for calling for help to put the fire out, or for insisting on everyone leaving the room? Of course not. But by insisting on difficult child sitting down and not pace (or growl) when he's anxious, they are trying to do exactly the same thing to him. If the teacher were made to sit down in a burning classroom, how well would they work? You first need to deal with the crisis triggering the anxiety, THEN the child will be better able to work effectively.</p><p></p><p>The problem with the other children - this now has escalated to the point where it needs to be addressed in the IEP. I would recommend a Sixth Sense program for these kids. Six is the lowest end of the age range for the program but I'm sure it could be modified for them and then repeated each year for the next three years, in order to keep difficult child safe at least from bullying classmates. Anyone trying to prevent the program on the grounds that it will single out difficult child as different - stupid idea. He IS different, the other kids already know this and are milking it for their own enjoyment. Coming clean about his disability won't make things any worse but may make them better.</p><p></p><p>Also, for difficult child's sake, he needs to be told about his diagnosis in a way that helps him realise - this is not his fault. difficult child 3 was about 7 when we told him; he just wasn't ready to understand before this. Because he was heavily into computers, we used them as an analogy - computers have different operating systems. when the text file comes off the printer, you can't tell if it was written on a Mac or a easy child. The two can look identical. But the instructions in the programming to make ach computer work, can be very different.</p><p>Some people have Mac brains and other people have easy child brains. it's just how it is. Either type of computer is good, they all work well, but they work differently. Also, a Mac is a great computer for graphics and for CG work, a easy child is a good business computer. These days they can do a lot of the other computer's stuff too.</p><p></p><p>He needs to rediscover that he is a wonderful person with potential and ability.</p><p></p><p>Shari, I've replied to your PM. Happy to help. </p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 221111, member: 1991"] klmno, you said what I tried to say, in a very few words. Thank you! Damage has been done and now it requires a different response. In the IEP, you need to include specifics such as "do not use negatives in your dealings with him. Express instructions in a positive way. ie if he is agitated and not staying in his seat, instead of saying, "Stop pacing, stop being disruptive," try to deflect him by saying, "Come and sit over here." Even better - try to identify WHY he is agitated and pacing, and work with it. Another important point for the school to take on board - deal with his anxiety and agitation as a priority, then only insist on the schoolwork when he is calm and compliant. He is Occupational Therapist (OT) a manipulative, disobedient child primarily. If something is wrong, stop trying to make him act as if everything is normal. Things are so far from normal for this boy, please teachers be compassionate and understanding, and you will get much more positive outcomes from him." The analogy you can give the teachers - if there is a fire in the classroom wastepaper basket, would you punish them for calling for help to put the fire out, or for insisting on everyone leaving the room? Of course not. But by insisting on difficult child sitting down and not pace (or growl) when he's anxious, they are trying to do exactly the same thing to him. If the teacher were made to sit down in a burning classroom, how well would they work? You first need to deal with the crisis triggering the anxiety, THEN the child will be better able to work effectively. The problem with the other children - this now has escalated to the point where it needs to be addressed in the IEP. I would recommend a Sixth Sense program for these kids. Six is the lowest end of the age range for the program but I'm sure it could be modified for them and then repeated each year for the next three years, in order to keep difficult child safe at least from bullying classmates. Anyone trying to prevent the program on the grounds that it will single out difficult child as different - stupid idea. He IS different, the other kids already know this and are milking it for their own enjoyment. Coming clean about his disability won't make things any worse but may make them better. Also, for difficult child's sake, he needs to be told about his diagnosis in a way that helps him realise - this is not his fault. difficult child 3 was about 7 when we told him; he just wasn't ready to understand before this. Because he was heavily into computers, we used them as an analogy - computers have different operating systems. when the text file comes off the printer, you can't tell if it was written on a Mac or a easy child. The two can look identical. But the instructions in the programming to make ach computer work, can be very different. Some people have Mac brains and other people have easy child brains. it's just how it is. Either type of computer is good, they all work well, but they work differently. Also, a Mac is a great computer for graphics and for CG work, a easy child is a good business computer. These days they can do a lot of the other computer's stuff too. He needs to rediscover that he is a wonderful person with potential and ability. Shari, I've replied to your PM. Happy to help. Marg [/QUOTE]
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My final appeal (kinda long, sorry) Input?
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