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My Grandchild.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 693330" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I never met his children but he cut me out for unknown reasons ten years ago. After finding out he and devil wife were showing my heartfelt but groveling letters that I wrote to his friends, and then that they were laughing at us, I went into therapy with a therapist who only saw adoptive families and their kids so he explained so much to me.</p><p></p><p>Then I tried one reconcilliation meeting with him and his wife at his church with a mediator. He had a list of things I had to do and how I had to behave in order to be blessed enough to see him...and that was only once in a while. Everything on the list was demeaning. "You cant come to our house. We only can meet at church or a restaurant" and he made sure he added that I had to pay for my own meal. Never explained why I couldnt go to his house. There were twenty other rules just as demeaning or worse. I just listened as a light bulb went off in my head.</p><p></p><p>I did not cry. His cruelty gave me clarity. I decided I did not need that...I have other loved ones. That sort if showed me that I didnt know or like this man and everything went uphill since then. I let go of the stranger and his awful wife. I didnt say it out loud. I let them rattle on, but, in my mind, it was finally over. This was not the person I had loved once so fiercely. </p><p></p><p>He is not in our will and I recently wrote him a short letter telling him that he is not welcome back as a last minute regret or for any reason. My other kids dont want him around them. Nor does my husband.</p><p></p><p>I cherish my memories of him as a child, but he is a stranger now and has been very cruel. I dont really think of him that much anymore, but I did have to go through the grieving process.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 693330, member: 1550"] I never met his children but he cut me out for unknown reasons ten years ago. After finding out he and devil wife were showing my heartfelt but groveling letters that I wrote to his friends, and then that they were laughing at us, I went into therapy with a therapist who only saw adoptive families and their kids so he explained so much to me. Then I tried one reconcilliation meeting with him and his wife at his church with a mediator. He had a list of things I had to do and how I had to behave in order to be blessed enough to see him...and that was only once in a while. Everything on the list was demeaning. "You cant come to our house. We only can meet at church or a restaurant" and he made sure he added that I had to pay for my own meal. Never explained why I couldnt go to his house. There were twenty other rules just as demeaning or worse. I just listened as a light bulb went off in my head. I did not cry. His cruelty gave me clarity. I decided I did not need that...I have other loved ones. That sort if showed me that I didnt know or like this man and everything went uphill since then. I let go of the stranger and his awful wife. I didnt say it out loud. I let them rattle on, but, in my mind, it was finally over. This was not the person I had loved once so fiercely. He is not in our will and I recently wrote him a short letter telling him that he is not welcome back as a last minute regret or for any reason. My other kids dont want him around them. Nor does my husband. I cherish my memories of him as a child, but he is a stranger now and has been very cruel. I dont really think of him that much anymore, but I did have to go through the grieving process. [/QUOTE]
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