You are totally right. That is why I am proud of you. In some ways it is easier to continue the abusive pattern by giving in rather than to break at least our part by standing up and saying, "No, I won't be treated like that by you or anyone.". That is what many of us were raised doing or seeing. I know many adults who feel they have no real choice because if they don't go visit or try to help then the abusive child of any age will think they are unloved or they will get very angry. It is hard to face the anger up front when you refuse to go, but in the long run it is far better for the parent, the child of any age, the rest of the family and actually the entire community.
I know this is hard, and part of you is watning to make things better for him. Though it is rough on you, and will be esp rough when he finds out you are not coming, in the long run it IS the right thing to do.
Practicing what you preach is hard sometimes, and doing it makes you a great mom. It is one more reason why you will be an excellent, appreciated and effective foster mom!
If he has that big bonus, why can he not use it to get some therapy and his medications and to see his psychiatrist again? Maybe the one thing to get through to him this year is that if he wants custody on ANY level, he has got to go back on medications and get into the psychiatrist and therapist because the judge WILL look at that and it may be something that could keep him from getting even shared parenting. If his son is so important to him, that is little enough to do for his son, in my opinion.
I know this is hard, and part of you is watning to make things better for him. Though it is rough on you, and will be esp rough when he finds out you are not coming, in the long run it IS the right thing to do.
Practicing what you preach is hard sometimes, and doing it makes you a great mom. It is one more reason why you will be an excellent, appreciated and effective foster mom!
If he has that big bonus, why can he not use it to get some therapy and his medications and to see his psychiatrist again? Maybe the one thing to get through to him this year is that if he wants custody on ANY level, he has got to go back on medications and get into the psychiatrist and therapist because the judge WILL look at that and it may be something that could keep him from getting even shared parenting. If his son is so important to him, that is little enough to do for his son, in my opinion.
