My heart drops every time the phone rings and it's her

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by Nancy, Feb 21, 2012.

  1. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    She called a few minutes ago and when I saw her number on the caller ID I panicked. Everytime she calls the same thing goes through my mind....what happened, what's wrong?

    She wanted to know if she could come over tomorrow to wash her sheets because she's out of quarters.

    I don't know if that awful feeling when the phone rings will ever go away.

  2. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Hugs to you, my friend. It is because you love deeply that you are so afraid for her. Thankful it was a non event.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I seriously think there needs to be a unique phone PTSD category.
  4. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I suffer from it, too.
  5. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I'll second that.
  6. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Can we add PTSD from a text received sound? I should record a custom ring tone with a short Al-anon saying for anytime. difficult child texts me.
  7. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Been there, sweetheart... :hugs:
  8. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Haha great idea. I think we should come up with a ringtone....checking songs now.
  9. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    I hear you...

    my heart also drops every time I get a late night text and it's NOT him. We always texted each other goodnight while he was away at school. Even when things were bad prior to the holidays.

    Haven't heard from him ...
  10. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    I find the "Mental health line" ringtone funny. I also use Brian Regan ringtones.
  11. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    My heart drops every time the phone rings or I get a text because I am hoping it is news of difficult child... we haven't heard a thing since Friday when we got the call that he was safely at the rehab. I keep having to remind myself that no news is probably good news....means he is probably still there as I am pretty sure we would have heard something if he wasn't.

    I don't know when that will ever end....

  12. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Isn't it amazing how we all feel the same way.
  13. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have my difficult child's ringtone set different from everyone else. That gives me a warning and time to think about if I want to answer it. I chose "windchimer" since it sounds rather whimsical which fits in with the fantasy world that my difficult child lives in. LOL
  14. Mrs.McNear51

    Mrs.McNear51 Member

    Same here Nancy. Don't know if it will ever go away...even when things are going good, I still hesitate and take a deep breath. I think we are conditioned after so many years that we always worry the other shoe will drop. Blessings to you!
  15. Signorina

    Signorina Guest

    Amazing but really sad.

    I am down tonight. Not sure why tonight. Recently, I've been so awestruck by the parallels I see between my difficult child and his "cd cousins" on this board. Though none of us have meet in real life and I am sure our kids don't know each other - it's like they are all operating from the same owner's manual. I see the kids who are ahead of mine in the journey...PG's, Nancy's, Kathy's and TLs for instance - and I know we have some rougher days ahead. I see the kids who are walking near my own difficult child - AGs, Elsie's, PVs for example and I think - "OMG how can these kids be operating in sync? They don't even know each other!" And I see the newer difficult children and I want to cry out to their moms: "WARNING WARNING WARNING" been there done that, watch out for what's ahead..."

    I think of my own first days on this board when I desperately needed your advice & your support yet a part of me thought "my boy will never be as as far removed as these other kids...he's going to return home, return to his senses and everything will be OK, we have such a bond..." HA

    And I remember pouring out my soul and my confusion around the holidays and everyone pointing out in their replies that it was nearly certain that my son had failed out of school...aha - right on the could I have been so naive?

    and then the realization hit that my kid IS that manipulative, IS truly that far gone...and then like many of his "cd cousins" before him, his pleasant demeanor became menacing, and he dropped the "good son" facade...

    and while everyone here dreads the phonecalls ... I never ever even get a call...or a text...or an email

    so amazing that we feel the same way - yet amazingly sad

    My son thinks he is striking out to be HIMSELF - lead his own original life, away from us - yet it is so clear he is EXACTLY like so many other difficult children - on the same exact path and with the same long rode ahead. Nothing original there.
    Lasted edited by : Feb 21, 2012
  16. AmericanGirl

    AmericanGirl Guest

    Sig...sending you lots of good wishes tonight.
  17. Nancy

    Nancy Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have no words Sig, that was so well said and captured what so many of us feel.

  18. recoveringenabler

    recoveringenabler Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I too fear the phone. I never really thought about others feeling the same way, it is sad. Sig, you got it right. I am sorry.
  19. pinevalley

    pinevalley Member

    Sig: You really expressed that so well. ... just what so many of us are feeling with our difficult child's. I just feel so terribly sad all the time, sad for my difficult child and for all the dreams that my h and I had for our family. It does help to know that there are others who know what this pain is. But still, every day there is a sadness in my heart for my difficult child and the destruction he has caused because of his addiction. I'm sending supportive thoughts to everyone so that we can all get thru this day, and then on to the next day...
  20. toughlovin

    toughlovin Guest

    Sig.... I so agree with what you said. It is amazing how similar in so many ways our stories are. It is awfult that we are all going through this but I have found it so comforting to "meet" all of you who truly understand this terrible and difficult journey we are all on. And I love the fact that I get straight talk advice but also non judgemental understanding when I was not tough enough.... it really helped me get to the point where I could do what needed to be done. And it is a comfort to know you will all be there no matter what our next step of the journey is.