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My husband and I are splitting up
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<blockquote data-quote="bran155" data-source="post: 240666"><p>Thank you all so much for the support and calming me down. I don't know what to believe at this point. He swears that it's not me. We have been talking a bit today and he just keeps saying that he loves me and he does not care about my weight. Here is what happened during therapy:</p><p></p><p>I brought up the fact that he doesn't want sex anymore. He was visibly embarassed and held his head down, would not look Alex (sw/therapist/female) in the eyes. She kept asking him why he doesn't want sex anymore. He kept saying he just doesn't have an answer, he doesn't know why. She kept on pushing him and pushing him to answer, he kept repeating the same thing, "I don't know". She said yes you do. She then began asking him if the reason will hurt my feelings and that's why he doesn't want to say it. He said no, it's not me. She kept on and kept on, "Will the reason hurt Shawna's feelings?", she must have asked him that same question 10 times before he finally said "yes". So that is why I feel as though he is disgusted by my weight. If the reason will hurt my feelings then what else could it be? Now I have been hounding him for the reason for months. I ask him all of the time if it is me and he keeps telling me no. We have had this same discussion a gazillion times and he always says he just does not know why he lost his sex drive. Since I have put on so much weight I always felt that that was the reason. He never came out and said it, not even in therapy. But what else, short of him being gay would hurt my feelings? Today I asked him if it is not me than why on earth did he say yes when Alex asked him if the reason would hurt my feelings. He said "Because she backed me in a corner and would not let up, I just said yes to shut her the f**k up". He kept telling me that he loves me no matter my size, he loves me for me and that he truly doesn't know what is going on with him or why he has lost his sex drive. He said if he knew why he would tell me but it is absolutely not me, he swore up and down on the kids lives that it's not me. Maybe it is him, I don't know. I just know that I feel completely rejected and can't help but think it's me. I don't know what to believe. It really doesn't make sense to me because his ex is heavier than me and most of his ex girlfriends are overweight. He likes big woman. Maybe I am being oversensitive. But it is absolutely crushing to be turned down when you are offering your husband sex!!!!</p><p></p><p>I really don't want to split up. Other than the no sex thing he really is a good guy. He has stuck by me through all of the craziness, he never goes out, he cleans the house, pro-active with our son, does homework and baths and takes very good care of us. He does nice things for me all of the time, in fact he came home with an IPOD for me the other day. He bought me a flat screen tv last month. He does stuff to make me happy. It's just this sex thing that is killing me. Am I overreacting? Could it be that he has just lost his sex drive at 31??? What do you all think??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bran155, post: 240666"] Thank you all so much for the support and calming me down. I don't know what to believe at this point. He swears that it's not me. We have been talking a bit today and he just keeps saying that he loves me and he does not care about my weight. Here is what happened during therapy: I brought up the fact that he doesn't want sex anymore. He was visibly embarassed and held his head down, would not look Alex (sw/therapist/female) in the eyes. She kept asking him why he doesn't want sex anymore. He kept saying he just doesn't have an answer, he doesn't know why. She kept on pushing him and pushing him to answer, he kept repeating the same thing, "I don't know". She said yes you do. She then began asking him if the reason will hurt my feelings and that's why he doesn't want to say it. He said no, it's not me. She kept on and kept on, "Will the reason hurt Shawna's feelings?", she must have asked him that same question 10 times before he finally said "yes". So that is why I feel as though he is disgusted by my weight. If the reason will hurt my feelings then what else could it be? Now I have been hounding him for the reason for months. I ask him all of the time if it is me and he keeps telling me no. We have had this same discussion a gazillion times and he always says he just does not know why he lost his sex drive. Since I have put on so much weight I always felt that that was the reason. He never came out and said it, not even in therapy. But what else, short of him being gay would hurt my feelings? Today I asked him if it is not me than why on earth did he say yes when Alex asked him if the reason would hurt my feelings. He said "Because she backed me in a corner and would not let up, I just said yes to shut her the f**k up". He kept telling me that he loves me no matter my size, he loves me for me and that he truly doesn't know what is going on with him or why he has lost his sex drive. He said if he knew why he would tell me but it is absolutely not me, he swore up and down on the kids lives that it's not me. Maybe it is him, I don't know. I just know that I feel completely rejected and can't help but think it's me. I don't know what to believe. It really doesn't make sense to me because his ex is heavier than me and most of his ex girlfriends are overweight. He likes big woman. Maybe I am being oversensitive. But it is absolutely crushing to be turned down when you are offering your husband sex!!!! I really don't want to split up. Other than the no sex thing he really is a good guy. He has stuck by me through all of the craziness, he never goes out, he cleans the house, pro-active with our son, does homework and baths and takes very good care of us. He does nice things for me all of the time, in fact he came home with an IPOD for me the other day. He bought me a flat screen tv last month. He does stuff to make me happy. It's just this sex thing that is killing me. Am I overreacting? Could it be that he has just lost his sex drive at 31??? What do you all think?? [/QUOTE]
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