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The Watercooler
My husband and I are splitting up
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 240736" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">Well Shawna, now that you've clarified your interpretation of what he 'meant' by his admission in therapy that it would hurt your feelings without ever saying it was your weight...you need to find a way to stop obsession that it's your weight.</span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">And if you feel so strongly that he is repulsed by your weight, perhaps it's you that is upset at your weight gain. And I agree that your H should probably see first his regular DR for a full physical to rule that out and then a counselor to discuss what's going on with him. My God, depression and stress are the number one reasons for a lack of sex drive outside of a side effect from medications. It really does sound like maybe, with all the stress with your kiddos, he could very well be depressed. </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">Like I said in my first post, you need to start with YOU. All you can control at this point is YOU, not him. You need to start focusing on you and your personal health (if that means dieting or taking alone time or whatever) and let him focus on his. If you can, continue to go to counseling together but maybe you could also take turns seeing the counselor alone once in a while. It sounds like he has some things to say that he would prefer to say alone. And that's not a slam against you - not all of us share every little thought and trouble with our partner. Sometimes we need to vent to someone else entirely and this may be one of those times. Would you feel threatened by him seeing the counselor alone? </span></span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: indigo">Hugs, Shawna. None of this is easy, but it's been said before: Marriages and sex wax and wane throughout - it's not all rosy all the time, as you know. I'm sorry that you're doubting yourself and H so much and that you're hurting so. But please just take one day at a time and don't throw in the towel just yet. </span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 240736, member: 2211"] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]Well Shawna, now that you've clarified your interpretation of what he 'meant' by his admission in therapy that it would hurt your feelings without ever saying it was your weight...you need to find a way to stop obsession that it's your weight.[/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]And if you feel so strongly that he is repulsed by your weight, perhaps it's you that is upset at your weight gain. And I agree that your H should probably see first his regular DR for a full physical to rule that out and then a counselor to discuss what's going on with him. My God, depression and stress are the number one reasons for a lack of sex drive outside of a side effect from medications. It really does sound like maybe, with all the stress with your kiddos, he could very well be depressed. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]Like I said in my first post, you need to start with YOU. All you can control at this point is YOU, not him. You need to start focusing on you and your personal health (if that means dieting or taking alone time or whatever) and let him focus on his. If you can, continue to go to counseling together but maybe you could also take turns seeing the counselor alone once in a while. It sounds like he has some things to say that he would prefer to say alone. And that's not a slam against you - not all of us share every little thought and trouble with our partner. Sometimes we need to vent to someone else entirely and this may be one of those times. Would you feel threatened by him seeing the counselor alone? [/COLOR][/SIZE] [SIZE=3][COLOR=indigo]Hugs, Shawna. None of this is easy, but it's been said before: Marriages and sex wax and wane throughout - it's not all rosy all the time, as you know. I'm sorry that you're doubting yourself and H so much and that you're hurting so. But please just take one day at a time and don't throw in the towel just yet. [/COLOR][/SIZE] [/QUOTE]
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My husband and I are splitting up
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