My little guy is being bullied.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Lothlorien, Sep 7, 2013.

  1. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Mighty Mouse has been bullied by some boys up my street for a few years now. I was good friends with the mother for a while, but it got to a point where they just stopped inviting us to things and her kids continued to torment my son, mostly on the bus. The bus driver is a woman that I'd like to string up by her toes, because she yells at my kid and dotes on them.

    Today, they had a party up the street. We were gone most of the day. We came home and Mighty wanted to ride his bike. About a 1/2 hour later, he comes in, upset, telling me the kids threw something at him. Six kids came down and started **** with him. husband chased them off. I im'd the mother of the one boy who was egged on by the others. She wasn't at the party, but had called her friend to tell her that her kids and my friend's son had been involved in this. That mother came down with the three boys and they apologized. The friend up the street and her kids have yet to be heard from. I'm beside myself. I'm so sick of this. Mighty is such a good kid. He doesn't deserve this.

    I live right smack in the middle of the block. On one end, these kids torment my kid. On the other end, we had a problem with the neighbors who allowed their kids to ride 4 wheelers up and down the block (illegal) until a 4 year old took off with the father's 4-wheeler and crashed into my garbage can years ago, rolled down the block and hit his head on the pavement....this only 1 week after my husband save their six year old from dying when his 4 wheeler landed on top of him and he wasn't breathing. I called the cops after the 4 year old crashed. I had enough, because it could have been one of my kids instead of my garbage can. So, in essence, I'm the b*tch of the block, because I don't want my kids to get hurt.

    I just want to put my head in the sand right now.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Oh, hon. I understand... It's really hard when the parents are not helping matters. Ugh. Give him a HUGE hug for me. I wish I had answers.
  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I understand. (((Hugs)))
  4. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    You know, I miss the days when bullies were generally ONE person and your kid could usually learn to handle it on his/her own, whether it came to blows or not.

    Seems these days it has taken on a gang type business with usually more than one kid involved......which of course escalates any confrontation quickly......and greatly increases the chances of the target being hurt seriously or worse.

    Our society is changing, and sad to say not for the better. Nor does it seem the anti-bully campaigns are having the least bit of effect.

    I thought this when mine were kids.......but it seems in recent years it just keeps getting worse. :(
  5. garrison

    garrison New Member

    Here's to being the b$tch on the block! That's my title too. LOL I'm sorry your son is going through that. Do you think the other mom realize that what her kids did is assault? I've been through this too with Mr. I. It sucks. (())
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    I was badly bullied and it was never just one kid. It was one or two major kids and a large audience of support. Ugh.

    I would consider talking to the police to see if you have any options besides expecting the parents to do something. Does he have to take the bus to school?
  7. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I'm sorry this is happening. I think Midwest mom has a good idea. Wouldn't hurt to just call and ask questions.
  8. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Perhaps the school has a resource officer who could give some guidance. Alot of schools recently had put antibullying programs in place. I may be wrong but I "think" that in some regions it is now literally against the law to bully and schools who ignore bullying can end up with sanctions. My oldest easy child was subtley bullied and my difficult child was so vulnerable that she could not tell a friend from a foe. I understand your pain. Hugs DDD
  9. FlowerGarden

    FlowerGarden Active Member

    In our school system, if you complain about kids taunting your child, or throwing something at your child, you must use the word bullying in order to get the mandatory bullying paperwork going. Just using the words taunting or explaining they threw something, the school doesn't haven't to follow through with the bullying paperwork. So if you decide to take the bus problems to the school, make sure you say your difficult child is getting "bullied" on the bus.
  10. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    Bullying is against the law, specifically the federal Dignity of All Children Act.
  11. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I was horribly bullied as a child and even though I was smart, I could be easily manipulated which gave the bullies so much to work with. In 5th grade they had me in tears because they told me I had failed 5th grade because the teacher forgot to check the box saying promoted to the next grade. I had straight A's but because that box wasnt checked a whole group of kids managed to convince me I failed my grade. Im sure the teacher thought I was smart enough to know that if you got straight A's you would obviously be passed on but the kids were so mean about it I was crying when my mom picked me up on that last day. I was going to a private school and was picked on anyway because my mom made all my clothes instead of buying them. I stood out like a sore thumb.

    I hate bullies. The only one of my kids who wasnt bullied by other kids was difficult child. Both oldest and middle one were and the schools actually told me they wanted them to stand up for themselves. Now there was no way on earth oldest could fight because he just wasnt built that way. In the neighborhood Cory took on the bullies and fought them over his brothers several times.

    I could never convince middle son to knock the koi out of the kids who were bullying him until it just got to be too much and that took years. One day after two kids from the same family...also neighbors....kept bullying him at the bus stop he simply whipped their butts. Their father wanted to get involved but husband told him to stand down, his boys deserved every lick middle on gave. Their father didnt want to go up against husband because while husband is very mild mannered most of the time, he is also built big and strong. He could have made mincemeat out of the man. Jamie could also but because he was so big he didnt want to be seen as a fighter. Thats funny when you think about him being a Marine later. I always thought of him as my gentle marshmallow but his fellow Marines said he was a force to be reckoned with. We knew two totally different people at that point. Even now, Jamie wont go looking for trouble but I wouldnt want to be the one who had to meet up with him on the wrong side of the law.

    Does Mighty Mouse have an older cousin or friend who could go down and scare the living daylights out of these kids? If not you might have to teach him to fight and then he needs to take on the biggest one and lay him out cold. No one will mess with him then.
  12. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    I'm seriously considering taking him to and from school, but my jobs are intermittent and I can't always be there when he gets out. I'm going to talk to one of my other neighbors who takes her two back and forth to school, because she got tired of the bus antics. I'll see if we can car pool.
  13. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    You shouldn't have to take him to and from school, and he shouldn't have to worry about living in his own home on his own street. I agree that you should approach the school about "bullying". I do remember the 4-wheeler incident, and it's too bad that she feels you were somehow at fault in her stupidity. The truth is she just didn't like being called out on it on top of the child being harmed.

    I would call the school ASAP and tell them that MM is being bullied on the bus and at home, and you expect them to put an end to it on their premises. It doesn't make one whit of difference where the history in this is, it's being done on the school bus and not being stopped. Don't complain about the bus driver's favoritism, she's just not doing her job, period. There's a video camera on the bus, figure out with MM what has happened and when and demand the tapes. Ask the school police to be present when you speak to them, and make sure that the bullies parents understand that they are legally responsible and you will not only demand prosecution, you'll demand financial retribution for any therapy, cost of moving if it doesn't stop - including loss on the sale of your home - if it doesn't stop now.

    It's early in the school year, and MM is at an age where it can all fall apart for him if it's not stopped. Get out the mommy warrior armor and make this stop. The bullies have to stop, and they have to know that they won't be allowed to find a new victim, either.
  14. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    I live in NJ, there are laws about bullying. Call the school and use the specific word bullying. It's the law that they fill out paperwork within 24 hours. They will take this seriously. Also, it stinks the'parents are not interested in being good people. I will tell you what we do when one of our students are being made fun of or picked on or excluded. We talk to the bully, tell him about our child, humanize him. Also, I say to them,'What were you thinking?" Instead of just saying, 'Why did you do that? so they cant just tell me they don't know, what were you thinking starts a discussion. The kid may even act as a protector to the child in questionafter your dicussion
  15. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    You're right Witz, I shouldn't HAVE to pull him from the bus. The fact is, I live on a cul de sac with 20 houses. The younger kids on the bus have seen the older ones teasing him and doing stuff, so they've all thought it was just okay to do it too. So, if Mighty fights back, he gets into trouble. If four or five kids say he started it.... He looks like the bad guy, because the older kids are pushing the younger ones to egg him on and if he hits back or does something to a younger kid, where does it leave him? These days, colleges are looking into records of middle and grammar schools, so I've been told. I don't wan that kind of thing on his record. I'd rather just avoid the entire situation. He's sooooo relieved now that I've got him off that bus. He was so happy.

    I'd like to work it out with the mother. She was my friend. I dunno now. I emailed her asking her to call me and she has not called me (she's either ignoring me or just hasn't checked email and I will give her the benefit of the doubt, for now). I will text her tomorrow. If she doesn't call me, then I will let her know in an email that this will not be tolerated again and I will go to the school if it does. Her kids are big sports kids..very good and will likely get scholarships. If they've got a bullying issue in their record, then schools may give that scholarship to someone else. They need to tread carefully....if she won't deal with me directly on this issue, then she will have to deal with it that way. It will get ugly. I'm hoping it doesn't go that far.
  16. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    Oh, and get this...I talk to the bus driver (deep breaths Loth) and you know what this witch says when I'm done? Good luck. I swear I wanted to turn around and get on that bus and punch her. She's been facilitating this issue for the past 5 years. When Missy had a problem with two boys on that same bus, I asked her to move them and separate the two boys, because they were trouble. She moves my daughter, but keeps the two troublemakers together. Two months went by and she moved the seats around and put my daughter in front of those two boys. She got hurt. I called transportation and complained and after that bus driver witch gives me the cold shoulder and wasn't nice to Missy after that. This woman should have retired years ago. She's miserable.
  17. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    Retired? She should've been fired.
  18. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Did she get back to you? I'm not sure that you can avoid this forever. What doesn't happen on the bus will happen elsewhere - like when MM is riding his bike. Hopefully, that is, unless it can be stopped.

    I don't know that I would send her an email. You know how the written word can be twisted against us.
  19. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Am I the only one who lives in a community with cameras on the school bus? We are basically middle class or below rural BUT the one thing I can say is that for at least seven years there is a recording of each daily bus trip. Somehow I assumed that was common. Sorry it isn't. DDD
  20. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I assumed it was as well, DDD.