My living Nightmare

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by tpcmom, Jun 19, 2007.

  1. tpcmom

    tpcmom New Member

    I don't write to often, it's been a long time. Especially something like this. I've been around since my 15 y/o was probably around 7 or 8.

    My oldest is 21 now, has been depressed for years. He had several bad incidents with injuries, knee (hit by a car, acl surgery) then his arm (put it thru the window almost died then.) he cut major artery, major nerve (one that controls when you flex your hand), lots of damage done. Lost a lot of use, can hardly hold pen, etc. So that made depression worse. He is in pain most of the time, when he isout of his pain medications, he self medicates, etc. Can't find a job, trying to get back into school program, there was a deter in that and just made things worse, but he can go back in Sept. for this program but you know what it's like to talk to these kids, they think if it's not happening right now then it never will.

    Well to make long story short and I won't go into details only because of the internet stuff. We helped out this friend of his about a year ago, told us his step dad beat him up. My son felt bad, asked to let him stay here. For our kindness he stole some things cost over $300 worth of stuff. Anyway I was going to press charges, my son did not want me to. Went to boys house, mom agreed to pay. She only gave me about $75 worth, then when step-dad got out of jail, I found out they are both druggies. She then told me she didn't have to pay me crap anymore. So all these kids kept telling me not to file charges on him because he had such a bad life, et. So I didn't. Fast foward almost a year, my son sees this boy at a house he was invited into. He asked him why he didn't pay, boy got confrontational, there was a fight, kid was pretty messed up. But son was scared because he can't really defend himself due to his arm injury. But they were both messed up I'm sure you all know what I mean.

    Well anyway my son was arrested for attempted murder and several other charges. I've been crying for 4 days straight now. He has bail, which I am scrounging to get up. I hired a private atty. so you know that's more money. I'm sick over this. It's like my heart just broke into tiny million pieces. I'm not condoning what happened, but I swear every time I do something nice for someone, I am always the one who suffers in the long run. I just can't even describe in words how I feel right now. He was sent to the detntion center because I couldn't post bail at midmnight last night, of course their Visa machine was down, now I have to beg, borrow and scrap together what I can to get him out on bail. He will not run, he knows not to. This is really bad, he has somewhat of a record, but one when he was 14, then another which was thrown out for insufficient evidence. That's it, nothing else on his record. But he does have one,so maybe with this that is why they let him get out on bail, I don't know.

    I'm sick. I just happened to take off a few days to visit with a friend from out of town and look what happens. I believe it was God's will this happened when she was here, she went all over the place with me on her vacation! I also had to put my cat down, he was diagnosis'd with feline leukemia, yes on the same day my son had to surrender himself. Oops here I go again, crying that's all I do.

    I just beg you all to keep me in your prayers. I am almost ready to break down. I cannot sleep, I cannot eat. I'm sick, sick, with him, the cat, everything, my visit with my friend that wasn't really a visit and who knows when we will see each other again. It's been 5 years since the last time.

    I just don't know how I'm going to make it thru all this.
  2. Sheila

    Sheila Moderator

    I so very sorry.

    Hopefully his attorney will be able to get the charges reduced or dismissed.

    So sorry about your kitty, too.

  3. Alisonlg

    Alisonlg New Member

    Oh sweetie! I can not even imagine the heartache you are going through right now. I am so very sorry. :::hugs:::
  4. DazedandConfused

    DazedandConfused Active Member

    Oh my! What a nightmare!

    Big hugs and positive thoughts sent your way.
  5. mum2JK&TH

    mum2JK&TH New Member

    I am so very sorry, you are in my thoughts (((HUGS)))
  6. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    May God wrap his loving arms around you and comfort you in this time of turmoil.

    Gentle hugs and prayers being sent your way.
  7. wakeupcall

    wakeupcall Well-Known Member

    It never rains but what it pours as they say. I'm so sorry and I wish you lots of strength. Sometimes we get through things we never thought we could.
  8. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    So sorry for your pain. Sending many positive vibes along to help you and your difficult child.
  9. ellenr1

    ellenr1 New Member

    Sending gentle hugs and prayers. I know it seems overwhelming but you will get through this , but not without getting some rest and taking care of yourself as best as you are able to right now. Deep breath in, let it out slow. Repeat. It helps.
  10. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    of course you are sad. lots has happened! life has been scarey and hard for a while for you. you are tuckered out and now this!

    cry and rest up. when you are done, remember that the truth will come out. your side will be heard in court. most likely a plea bargain can be done. it will be ok, I just know it will work out.

    so sorry about your cat. that is a hard one too. our pets can be our best allies a lot of the time and your pet will be missed. ((((HUGS)))))
  11. WhymeMom?

    WhymeMom? No real answers to life..

    <span style='font-family: Comic Sans MS'>Sending calming thoughts to you....I know all of this can make you lose sleep and in general drive you crazy. The wheels of justice turn slowly so it could go on for quite some time....more than likely the charges will be lessened when the whole story comes out.... I know you want to make things better, but truthfully there is little you can do. Make sure you get a good attorney, but take care of yourself and let the story unfold....

    Easier said than done, as I am having similar problems....

    Sending big hugs for you..... </span>

  12. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Sending prayers and hugs your way. :angel:
  13. tpcmom

    tpcmom New Member

    Thank you all so very much for your support and prayers. I did get to bail him out, what an ordeal. I used up everything I had. I know he can be an idiot but he didn't deserve this, that's for sure. One thing he does need is definite rehab.

    I'm definityl worn out, I think today is the first day I haven't cried, I think I'm all dried up, is that possible? :smile:

    As for my cat, it does sadden me, I bawled so hard then too. I have 2 other cats I had to think about though, they cam back negative and then got the shot for it. But I don't know if I ever posted about this, but this same cat had gotten my son really sick a few months back, got cat scratch disease on top of mono he wound up in the hospital and needed surgery. So, basically I had no alternative.

    I know you all will think I'm weird, but I swore I heard him meow today. It was eery.

    Thanks again, I'll keep you all posted. I'm glad I was able to come here and let it out. It made me feel so much better and knowing that I have people praying for me, means so much!
  14. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    We are definitely praying and thinking of you. I am so glad you were able to bail your son out, and I know that the judge and jury will be able to see the truth.
    So sorry about your kitty. Mine died 2 years ago in a tragic accident.....he was the most precious sweetheart of a cat I had ever encountered. To this day, I still think about him - and sometimes I even dream about him. Once in awhile animals can steal our hearts away, just like people.

    I will continue to keep you and your son in my is time for your luck to turn for the better and I am sure it will be soon.
  15. WNC Gal

    WNC Gal New Member

    I am so sorry to hear of your struggles with your son...

    Even though it may be the last thing you feel like doing, DO take care of yourself first - take your vitamins, eat healthy meals, try to get quality sleep after a relaxing bath, escape in a good book, go for a stroll outside to get some sunshine, watch a comedy movie, call all of your family and friends while out for a stroll in the sunshine (worked wonders for me)....

    and know that ALL of us here are pulling for you and your family.....

  16. Evanlee

    Evanlee Guest

    My prayers are with you and your son. Have you tried to find a mental health advocate? You may also consider hiring a PI to investigate the other boy? Please know you have friends here who support you and wish you the best. ~* Ev

    Wash me from all that I think I am:

    My struggles, my stands, my cherished opinions,

    My soaring dreams and deadening fears.

    Leave me only Your purity and Your peace.

    Wipe away the masks of judgment

    I have placed on Your children.

    Show me the faces made in Your likeness,

    That I may see my own as well.

    Brush aside all shrines to the future,

    All altars to the past.

    Give me Your golden present,

    A Home in You, unmovable and eternal.

    Still all voices within me.

    Fill me with the hush of Your peace.

    Now You are my thoughts, my purpose, and my way.

    All I need and all I am is You.

    - Hugh Prather
  17. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    What an ordeal. I'm sorry that you are going through all of this right now. Saying prayers for you. Big hugs!
  18. KarenB

    KarenB New Member

    I'm sending prayers up for your right now. So sorry your family is going through all this.
  19. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I used to think I heard my cat after she died....her toes tapping on the kitchen floor, her "hello" sounding "HMMMMM"
    no more though.