Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
My "loving" bro...(vent)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 176739" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>It was stretching it, Lisa. He doesn't have rights like grandparents or non-custodial parents. The judge ordered that temporarily while the court case for custody was going on because bro had convinced the GAL (well- he just told her a lie and she never asked me about it) that difficult child wanted to have a relationship with him, that the two had always been close, but that I had recently refused it and cut the communication off. Since difficult child had gone out on a 1 1/2 hr crime spree (apparently manic), I could see where some might think this could be a contributing factor, given that he was 12 yo. However, it was a lie and they should have checked into it first in my humble opinion. I never tried to interfere with any communication between them until after difficult child had done that and was sent home on house arrest with a monitor and bro was trying to communicate with difficult child secretly and get him condoms- at 12 yo, on house arrest with an upcoming court, and as a virgin mind you. And during this time, bro was yelling at me on the phone about how it was all my fault that difficult child had gotten into trouble. That is when I told bro he needed to stop calling and he needed to leave difficult child alone. Little did I know until the principal at school told me and the lady from social services told me, bro had already "been calling everyone in town trying to get information about difficult child and trying to get custody." (Those were their exact words.)</p><p></p><p>Anyway- there are no orders for visitation or even phone calls now. Bro dropped his custody case- but not before the court date and after I spent about $3500 on an attny to prepare for it. He wanted me to make it look like an agreement that he would drop it if I would allow communication. I had the attny make it clear- I will never stop (and never have) difficult child from calling my bro (if difficult child asks for it) , but at this point I will be monitoring that communication (listening in on any phone call and reading any letter), it has been that way since my bro got sneaky and it will continue to be that way- court case or not. So, legally- the case was dropped and we aren't under court order to do anything. difficult child knows if he wants to call him, he can, but difficult child also understands that due to the turmoil this put us both through last year, I will be monitoring. difficult child has never once asks to call or write him. I have even asked if he wants to- or if he wants to get him something for Christmas, b-day, whatever- difficult child always says No. But you know- it was pretty stupid for my bro to use those phone calls last year to yell to difficult child that his mom didn't love him. Really, bro was acting like an out-of-control dad who had lost custody. and somewhere in there, it became more than a little obvious that bro was trying to instigate difficult child to get into trouble so he could claim that it was because difficult child was living with me and use that to get custody. Wierd, I know, but we aren't dealing with a normal bro.</p><p></p><p>Also, I made it clear to gal that if bro continues to try to contact difficult child (without consent) or make phone calls to people in our lives saying things about us or trying to get personal info that I will file charges. Of course, this has something to do with how bro words these occasional cards- "he can't help what has happened or how I feel" BS- it was always me trying to hold this family together and bro knows it. Bro went 2 years and never responded to any contact I tried to make with him. At our grandmother's funeral his friends were coming to me telling me how bro never could feel like I was his family.</p><p></p><p>I agree whole-heartedly about grandparents (in most situations) - the very fact that they are a grandparent means that they have had a child before. I understand if a aunt or uncle wants custody of a child if the parent has been proven unfit or needs some time to get back on track. (Everyone is fortunate when that happens.) But, really, this is not the case here- it never was. My bro saw a slight opening because gal had contacted social services to try to get an option for difficult child being committed to state- and bro jumped at it to trash me and try to get full custody and parental rights. And he wants to claim that he can't help it?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 176739, member: 3699"] It was stretching it, Lisa. He doesn't have rights like grandparents or non-custodial parents. The judge ordered that temporarily while the court case for custody was going on because bro had convinced the GAL (well- he just told her a lie and she never asked me about it) that difficult child wanted to have a relationship with him, that the two had always been close, but that I had recently refused it and cut the communication off. Since difficult child had gone out on a 1 1/2 hr crime spree (apparently manic), I could see where some might think this could be a contributing factor, given that he was 12 yo. However, it was a lie and they should have checked into it first in my humble opinion. I never tried to interfere with any communication between them until after difficult child had done that and was sent home on house arrest with a monitor and bro was trying to communicate with difficult child secretly and get him condoms- at 12 yo, on house arrest with an upcoming court, and as a virgin mind you. And during this time, bro was yelling at me on the phone about how it was all my fault that difficult child had gotten into trouble. That is when I told bro he needed to stop calling and he needed to leave difficult child alone. Little did I know until the principal at school told me and the lady from social services told me, bro had already "been calling everyone in town trying to get information about difficult child and trying to get custody." (Those were their exact words.) Anyway- there are no orders for visitation or even phone calls now. Bro dropped his custody case- but not before the court date and after I spent about $3500 on an attny to prepare for it. He wanted me to make it look like an agreement that he would drop it if I would allow communication. I had the attny make it clear- I will never stop (and never have) difficult child from calling my bro (if difficult child asks for it) , but at this point I will be monitoring that communication (listening in on any phone call and reading any letter), it has been that way since my bro got sneaky and it will continue to be that way- court case or not. So, legally- the case was dropped and we aren't under court order to do anything. difficult child knows if he wants to call him, he can, but difficult child also understands that due to the turmoil this put us both through last year, I will be monitoring. difficult child has never once asks to call or write him. I have even asked if he wants to- or if he wants to get him something for Christmas, b-day, whatever- difficult child always says No. But you know- it was pretty stupid for my bro to use those phone calls last year to yell to difficult child that his mom didn't love him. Really, bro was acting like an out-of-control dad who had lost custody. and somewhere in there, it became more than a little obvious that bro was trying to instigate difficult child to get into trouble so he could claim that it was because difficult child was living with me and use that to get custody. Wierd, I know, but we aren't dealing with a normal bro. Also, I made it clear to gal that if bro continues to try to contact difficult child (without consent) or make phone calls to people in our lives saying things about us or trying to get personal info that I will file charges. Of course, this has something to do with how bro words these occasional cards- "he can't help what has happened or how I feel" BS- it was always me trying to hold this family together and bro knows it. Bro went 2 years and never responded to any contact I tried to make with him. At our grandmother's funeral his friends were coming to me telling me how bro never could feel like I was his family. I agree whole-heartedly about grandparents (in most situations) - the very fact that they are a grandparent means that they have had a child before. I understand if a aunt or uncle wants custody of a child if the parent has been proven unfit or needs some time to get back on track. (Everyone is fortunate when that happens.) But, really, this is not the case here- it never was. My bro saw a slight opening because gal had contacted social services to try to get an option for difficult child being committed to state- and bro jumped at it to trash me and try to get full custody and parental rights. And he wants to claim that he can't help it? [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
General Discussions
The Watercooler
My "loving" bro...(vent)
Top