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My "loving" bro...(vent)
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 176754" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>No- he (bro) doesn't understand, unfortunately - I think that is part of the problem. For one- when difficult child was a few years younger, bro made a comment to another family member that he didn't see the big deal, that raising a child was just putting another dinner plate on the table. For another, we lost our dad when we were young kids- we had different moms. Bro's mom is korean and had left the country before he can remember. She never sent a gift or card to him. When he was about 16-17yo, he learned that she had been a prostitute- although, our dad had loved her and had tried to make things right, so he married her and brought her to this country. Then, the marriage didn't work so he sent her back to her country. My bro had been living with my dad and mom and me until our dad dies and our grandparents took custody of bro. I satyed with my mom. I was 5, he was 8. Anytime we have spent time together as adults, he has brought up how he is so sure that if daddy had lived, he would have divorced my mom and left me and gotten back together with his mom. (My bro is 49 yo) He really doesn't get it- I could forgive that- what I can't forgive is him trying to manipulate, bully, lie, and everything else to get everyone to see things the way he wants them seen.</p><p></p><p>He needs to be the one to look at his own issues sometimes. He is out of line to try to take my kid when I am providing and taking care of him. He needs to learn to grieve his own losses and respect other people's boundaries. He needs to let difficult child love his mother without flipping out. He needs to learn how to be satisfied with being difficult child's uncle and accept that he is not and can never be his father. He needs to learn what really loving a kid means- and it isn;t a selfish love. He needs to learn that "having" difficult child won't make up for what he never had.</p><p></p><p>difficult child said he was just tired of his uncle trying to put him in the middle. It is sad that bro either doesn't realize or can't own up to the fact that this is exactly what he is doing. My bro's issues are not with my son- they can't be- as I said before- he has never lived in the same town, helped raise him, or provide for him, or even seen him more then 10 times since he was born. It couldn't possibly be fair to difficult child to put him in that situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 176754, member: 3699"] No- he (bro) doesn't understand, unfortunately - I think that is part of the problem. For one- when difficult child was a few years younger, bro made a comment to another family member that he didn't see the big deal, that raising a child was just putting another dinner plate on the table. For another, we lost our dad when we were young kids- we had different moms. Bro's mom is korean and had left the country before he can remember. She never sent a gift or card to him. When he was about 16-17yo, he learned that she had been a prostitute- although, our dad had loved her and had tried to make things right, so he married her and brought her to this country. Then, the marriage didn't work so he sent her back to her country. My bro had been living with my dad and mom and me until our dad dies and our grandparents took custody of bro. I satyed with my mom. I was 5, he was 8. Anytime we have spent time together as adults, he has brought up how he is so sure that if daddy had lived, he would have divorced my mom and left me and gotten back together with his mom. (My bro is 49 yo) He really doesn't get it- I could forgive that- what I can't forgive is him trying to manipulate, bully, lie, and everything else to get everyone to see things the way he wants them seen. He needs to be the one to look at his own issues sometimes. He is out of line to try to take my kid when I am providing and taking care of him. He needs to learn to grieve his own losses and respect other people's boundaries. He needs to let difficult child love his mother without flipping out. He needs to learn how to be satisfied with being difficult child's uncle and accept that he is not and can never be his father. He needs to learn what really loving a kid means- and it isn;t a selfish love. He needs to learn that "having" difficult child won't make up for what he never had. difficult child said he was just tired of his uncle trying to put him in the middle. It is sad that bro either doesn't realize or can't own up to the fact that this is exactly what he is doing. My bro's issues are not with my son- they can't be- as I said before- he has never lived in the same town, helped raise him, or provide for him, or even seen him more then 10 times since he was born. It couldn't possibly be fair to difficult child to put him in that situation. [/QUOTE]
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